Maudlin's Mayhem (Bewitching Bedlam #2)
Yasmine Galenorn
Acknowledgments
Thanks to my beloved husband, Samwise, who is more supportive than any husband out there. (Hey, I’m biased!). He believes in me, even at times when I’m having trouble believing in myself. Thank you to my wonderful assistants—Andria Holley and Jennifer Arnold. And to my friends—namely Carol, Jo, Vicki, Shawntelle, and Mandy. Also, to the whole UF Group gang I’m in. They’ve held my hand more than once this past year as I’ve made the jump from traditional to indie publishing. It’s been a scary, exciting, fast-track ride and I’m loving it.
Love and scritches to my four furbles—Caly, Brighid (the cat, not the goddess), Morgana, and li’l boy Apple, who make every day a delight. And reverence, honor, and love to my spiritual guardians—Mielikki, Tapio, Ukko, Rauni, and Brighid (the goddess, not the cat).
And to you, readers, for taking Maddy and Aegis and Bubba into your heart. Be cautious when you rub a kitty’s belly—you never know when you’re petting a cjinn! I hope you enjoy this book. If you want to know more about me and my work, check out my bibliography in the back of the book, be sure to sign up for my newsletter, and you can find me on the web at Galenorn.com.
Brightest Blessings,
The Painted Panther Yasmine Galenorn
Welcome to Maudlin’s Mayhem
When chaos descends on the Bewitching Bedlam B&B, Maudlin's bank account gets hijacked for over $50,000. Bubba ends up showing his all-too-gorgeous and terribly insecure human side. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves descend on the B&B, only Snow White turns out to be a porn star, and the seven dwarves are her co-stars. To top it all off, Aegis gets stuck in his bat form.
But then the magical mayhem takes a dark turn when Maddy’s new employee turns up dead. Even worse, she discovers that he was the favorite boy toy of Essie Vanderbilt, the Queen of the Pacific Northwest Vampire Court. When it comes to light that Maddy and her friends are under the hex of a Dirt Witch, she realizes that she must find a way to dispel the magic before the deadly curse kills again.
Chapter 1
“I CAN’T BELIEVE I have to interview for a new housekeeper. Trina didn’t even work here for two months before she up and ran off.” I slapped the table with the latest copy of the Bedlam Crier, which contained the classified ad I’d submitted the day before. Hopefully, someone would answer it before the end of the day, because I was getting tired of wasting my spells on creating holeos to clean the B&B. I might be a powerful witch, but I didn’t have unlimited energy, and at some point, I wanted to do something besides create automatons to scrub the toilets.
“What happened to her? She get pregnant?” Sandy took another sip of her drink.
We had decided to celebrate the upcoming holiday by getting a jump start on spring. Since we were nearing Ostara—the spring equinox—we decided on a tart, bright flavor to fit the bill. The blender was full of a mixture of lemon sorbet, spiced rum, limeade, and a little grenadine. The drink was surprisingly nifty, especially after the third round.
“Trina and her boyfriend are selkies, you know. He got a job out on the peninsula near Port Townsend, so he was moving to a new pod. If Trina continued to work here, that would put a damper on their relationship. I get it, but damn it. She was a pretty spiffy worker.” I tossed back the last of my drink and held my glass out for a fourth round.
Sandy poured out the last of the drinks and held up the empty blender. “Another batch?”
I shrugged. “You know, we really should have something to eat. I forgot lunch and I doubt if I’m going to be in any shape to make dinner.”
“When are you ever in shape to make dinner? You’re lucky Aegis is a good cook.” She snorted, peeling herself out of her chair. “Do you have any potato chips? With all the lime in these drinks, it feels like we should have some salt to go with it.”
“You’re thinking of margaritas. Yeah, in the cupboard.” I started to hum the “Coconut” song as she foraged for goodies. Sandy and I had a high tolerance for mind-altering substances. After all, we had three hundred years of practice at being party girls. But I knew I wasn’t going to find my answer to the cleaning problem at the bottom of a blender.
I let out a sigh. “Well, the ad just came out today so hopefully, I’ll get some sort of response.” I paused. “Now, if I could just take care of that damned Ralph Greyhoof. You know, he actually egged my front door the other morning when he was drunk off his ass? Took my holeos an hour to wash it off.”
“He’s an idiot. He won’t let go of the feud, will he?”
“No, and I was willing to let the past go.” Ralph Greyhoof and I had come to a temporary truce for a while but that was shot to hell. One of the Greyhoof boys—they were a band of satyrs—he owned the Heart’s Desire Inn, or should I say brothel. And he was always accusing me of trying to steal his business.
“No,” I said, giving her an evil grin. “But this morning I left him a little surprise. I found a glowing and thought maybe Ralph needed a pet, so I left it just inside his door.”
Glowings were gorgeous little caterpillars that happened to multiply like crazy. As their name suggested, they glowed non-stop. They didn’t destroy anything except plants, but they spread like crazy, and required a massive amount of elbow grease to remove. You had to remove them all, because just one could repopulate the entire species. Later in the year, they went into stasis, then burst forth as beautiful autumn moths, but when they were in their caterpillar stage, they were nothing but nuisances.