Making the Cut (Sons of Templar MC #1)(115)
He stood in the middle of my room, staring at one of the pictures I was forbidden to look at. The look in his eyes couldn’t be described as merely sad. More like anguished, ruined, destroyed. It quickly flickered away and his strong dad mask settled back in, he looked me up and down smiling.
“Didn’t think you’d ever get prettier darling, but with my grandbaby inside you, you are magnificent.”
My eyes prickled. “Thanks Daddy.”
“Now I know you won’t talk to me about before…” he started and I interrupted.
“Please Dad.” I begged, not wanting someone else trying to force me to talk, Dad had let me be so far.
“No I won’t say anything, you’ll talk when you are ready sweet girl. But sit with me a sec.” He sat himself down on my sleigh bed, patting the flowered duvet beside him. I paused for a moment before I sat down next to him.
“You know how happy I am to become a grandpa.” He started carefully and I tensed.
“Don’t get defensive yet Gwen. I can’t wait to meet that little baby. I know that him or her is going to have so much love surrounding it, it’s going to be a lucky kid.” He paused and I waited for it. “But that kid also needs its father. Nothing can replace a fathers love, I’m telling you that from experience.” His eyes twinkled,
“I know there are some problems with you and this Cade fella. I ain’t going to try and give an opinion on your private relationship that’s between the two of you. Problem is, there not just two of you anymore.” He gazed pointedly at my stomach before continuing. “Now when that boy isn’t yelling down the phone, I get the impression he cares a great deal about you and that baby. Hell I think you are what tethers him to this earth. I say this cause I know how that feels. Cause I feel that bout your mother, you” his voice cracked, “and your brother. I can’t say I’m too happy about the fact that the reason he’s not here is due to problems with the law. I can’t judge the man based purely off that though. I know little about the man, but what I do know is he loves my baby girl, and is desperate to see you, hear your voice. I also know that your brother approved of him, the last time I spoke to him I was not feelin the love towards your new man, I was so worried I thought about hopping on a plane. Your brother stopped me, I trusted his judgment.” He cleared his throat, “So maybe consider picking up the phone, cause I know you might need to talk to him just about as much as he talks to you.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but I knew my argument was weak, so I closed it again.
“I support you in anything you do honey. I’ve said my piece. I want more than anything is my baby girl happy. Which I know you ain’t now.” He finished softly.
“I don’t know if I can ever be happy again Daddy.” I declared my biggest fear brokenly.
Dad stroked my face then puts his hand on my belly. “Oh my little mouse, I know you can. You just gotta let yourself.” He kissed my head then left me sitting there his words hanging in the air.
I lay in bed later that night, full as I could be with food my Mum cooked. Full with the love for the company I shared my table with tonight, full with my child. But somehow I still had a gaping whole, right there in my soul. I was afraid it might never be mended, I might always be broken, empty. Only half enjoying company I was, only half tasting the food that I ate, feeling guilty for every time I smiled. There wasn’t a guarantee that Cade could repair my hole, fill me back up, but I knew he would die trying. I looked at my phone display, the name staring back at me. Two months was a long time to think, the more I thought about that awful day the more things didn’t add up. When I had walked into Cade’s room, he hadn’t seem panicked, glancing at the bathroom door like any half intelligent man would. He had been happy, ecstatic when he learned of the baby, I remembered the unhidden joy on his face. It was not the face of a man who knew he had a whore in the bathroom, no matter the words that had been said the night before I knew he wouldn’t cheat. Maybe I was kidding myself, the scene had been damning, maybe I was grasping at emotional straws. But maybe I was right. Maybe Daddy was right. I already loved my baby with as much of my broken heart as I could. Who was I to deny it the love of its father?
I took a deep breath and put my thumb to the name on the screen.
“Well Gwen I have to say I’m glad you have your appetite back.” My mother informed me with a smile.
I let out an unladylike snort as I shoveled my second plate of eggs into my mouth. She was right, suddenly I was eating like a pubescent boy. I had made my father drive half an hour to the closest dairy last night to get me a banana milkshake. And pickles.
It was two days after our little chat. I had called Cade. Only to have it go straight to voicemail, I chickened out on leaving a message deciding on picking up the phone the next time he rang. But after being stuck on the phone multiple times with every single person in my family and all of my mother’s nosy friends I hadn’t heard from him, I was worried. But I was too scared too call him again. So I ate.
“I am too my sunshine.” Dad chipped in putting his arms around my mother and kissing her head.
“But I will say, I don’t know if the chickens will lay quickly enough to keep her in eggs, we may need to buy some more.” He grinned at me, I swallowed my mouthful poking my tongue out at him.