Lustly(7)

I got to the door before he addressed me. “Mrs. Ross, this consultation is free. Please sit back down. I wasn’t finished speaking.” He took a deep breath. “There’s options for you. There’s child support and alimony. If your husband has supported you for all of those years, you will be entitled to a fair share of whatever he makes. It’s the law.”

“There isn’t any amount of alimony that would allow me to stay in my house, and keep my kids with me all of the time.”

“I disagree. Infidelity gives us means to go after your husband for enough to keep you comfortable.”

“My kids will hate me. They’ll blame all of this on me.”

“This is your decision, but you need to be fair to yourself. Do you want to spend the next five to ten years living under the same roof as your adulterous husband?”

He had a point. Really I would have liked to cut off his dick and let him bleed out before I called the paramedics. “This isn’t about me. It’s about my children. They love him, and no matter what he’s done to me, it doesn’t reflect the father he is to them. You don’t know my life, Mr. Polleras.”

“I still think you should weigh out your options. In my professional opinion you have other choices you could make.”

I turned to look at the kind man. “What good will it do? At the end of the day I can stay married and keep my family together, or I can leave and lose everything that’s important to all of us. Those are my only options.”

“I disagree.” He motioned to the chair again. “Please sit.”

Reluctantly, I walked back to the chair and sat down. “I’m wasting your time.”

He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. I watched him playing with his fingertips as he spoke to me. “My last client told me about you. She asked me to give you this.” He slid a card across the table. “She’s a nice girl, who’s been through a similar situation. She could tell you firsthand that things will get better. How about we meet next week when things have had time to sink in?”

“Even if I wanted to proceed with this, I can’t pay you for the time. I know how expensive you are.”

“I don’t do this just for the money. Sometimes it feels good to give back. I can see the desperation in your eyes. You came in here today because you obviously needed help.” He laughed and shook his head, while still penciling me in.

“I’m pathetic,” I whispered.

“Mrs. Ross, please don’t take this the wrong way, because I mean it in the most professional sense, but no one should be this miserable when they’ve done nothing to deserve it. I can help you get what you want, and I’m willing to work pro-bono until you can find the means to pay me.”

“That’s very kind, but I’m certain a job at a fast food place wouldn’t even be able to afford fifteen minutes of what you charge.” I closed my eyes for a second and pictured myself working at McDonalds. I cringed inside thinking about what my children would think of me.

He crossed his arms, and I felt uneasy in my own seat. For some reason this man was being nice to me and I was acting so difficult. “The door is right there.” He motioned. “I penciled you in for the same time next week. If you show up then we will proceed. If you don’t then I didn’t lose anything but time.”

I smiled and stood up. “I’m just going to work out my marriage. Thank you for seeing me.”

Determined to not look back, I looped my purse over my shoulder and left the office.

I could survive for the next ten years with a cheater and liar. I’d have to do it for my children. As miserable as it would be, I’d do it for my kids, and everything they’d valued about their lives. The sacrifice was worth it.

Right?





Chapter 3


Ever since my near shitting myself in the grocery store, I’d been driving clear across town for even the bare necessities. We’d woken to a house with no toilet paper, so there I was spending an extra five bucks in gas to grab a five dollar pack of paper to wipe our asses with.

I found no humor in that at all.

In fact, since the affair had been revealed to me, I found no humor in anything. I was living life like a zombie. I hated the way I looked, the way I felt, and how my suffering was taking me to places that I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without finding things I hated.

In all of the years I’d been married and raising children I’d always gotten compliments for looking younger, and still being beautiful. Though he hadn’t even noticed, my husband was the reason for the light being removed from my life. I lived like clockwork everyday, in hopes of not having to deal with him for long periods of time.

After grabbing the toilet paper, I sat in my mini-van biting my nails and considering how I was letting myself fade away. Attached to the grocery store were a few shops, including a salon. I knew my funds were limited, but I hadn’t gotten a hair cut in forever, and assumed that maybe a fresh trim would brighten my mood, even if it were temporary.

I walked inside and was greeted by a sweet girl who seated me next to this well-dressed woman. The first thing I noticed was her extra large designer bag that had a dog’s head popping out of the top. She opened this bedazzled container and pulled out a treat that looked like a real piece of steak and fed it to the animal.