Luscious (Topped #1)(51)

“Because it didn’t matter by then. I knew what I needed to know about him. I knew he was a good man.” Those damn tears were back and she wondered how long it would be before she stopped crying over him. “I came here because I wanted to ask him about my brother’s death, but then I got to know him and I couldn’t.”

Grace stood up and moved around the desk, sitting in the chair beside her. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I was scared. I didn’t want to lose him.” But she had and she already felt the loss like a hole had opened in her lungs and she couldn’t breathe anymore.

“You had to know someone would find out.”

“Why? There weren’t any legal ties to my mom or brother. Why couldn’t I call myself Ally and start over?” It had been a good plan that had gone so very wrong.

“How many times have you started over?”

She shrugged. “A couple.”

“I think you’ve made a habit out of running away,” Grace said softly. “But sometimes you have to stand your ground to start over. Sometimes running away isn’t the answer. Do you love him?”

Ally nodded, unable to speak.

“Then leaving is the worst thing you can do.”

“It’s my fault.”

A look of determination set in Grace’s hazel eyes. “Then be woman enough to stand up and admit it. Take responsibility and then atone. You don’t have to leave, but you need to figure something out. You need to decide if you’re good for him. You can’t be good for him if you’re hundreds of miles away. I’ve seen that man come alive since he started dating you. He was happy and he can be happy again. He needs time and patience from you. But the last thing he needs is distance and your self-doubt. Do you believe in your heart that you’re good for him?”

She believed that she loved him. She knew she’d do anything it took to help him achieve his dreams. She was his natural partner, a lover who fit his needs. She’d spent a lifetime thinking she wasn’t good enough. It would be simple to fall into that familiar pattern again, but it wasn’t what Macon needed. She’d seen the way his shoulders had slumped, how his hand had unconsciously gone to his damaged leg as if he could hide it. He didn’t think she’d ever loved him. When he’d thought she loved him, he’d stood taller, walked with more pride. She’d given that to him.

She had to find a way to give it to him again. “I am good for him.”

“If you love him, you fight for him.”

There was only one problem. “I don’t think he wants me anymore.”

Grace sighed and for a moment it looked like she was lost in some memory. “He doesn’t know what he wants right now, honey. He’s hurt and angry and willing to burn everything down because of it. I should know. I’ve been there. Do you know why I married Sean?”

“Because you love him.”

“Yes, obviously. But Sean hurt me in the beginning. I’m with him today because he was patient and he apologized and he never stopped telling me he loved me. He kept saying it until I believed it. I think Macon needs to hear that. He needs to know that you won’t leave. Even when it gets ugly. He needs to know that your love isn’t a currency. You’re not trying to buy something from him.”

That was all Macon had known. “His wife wanted money and a place in their society.”

“And what do you want?”

She searched her heart. There was an easy answer, but it wasn’t the truest one. She wanted Macon, but there was something she wanted even more. When she really went deep she discovered what she wanted beyond everything else. “I want Macon to be happy. I want him to have a good life.”

Grace put her hand over Ally’s. “Oh, honey. That means you’re really in love and that is worth fighting for. You made a mistake. A big one. That’s not going to go away easy, but it’s time to stop running. It’s time to stand. It’s time to say this is my home and I won’t leave.”

“And if he still hates me?”

“Then at least you found a home.” Grace stood. “Now let’s go and eat and we’ll talk this out. That’s what families do.”

She was crying again, but it was all right. It was better than all right.

It was time to fight.



Late in the night she locked the door behind her. She looked around the guesthouse and knew she was alone. There was no Macon in the kitchen puttering around with some new experiment. He wasn’t in the shower or out jogging. He was gone and she knew it before she checked his closet.

She moved through the house, reliving every moment with him.

How could she prove that she loved him? How could she make him believe?

When she got to the kitchen she nearly broke down again. This was where he’d first really kissed her, where they’d decided to move forward. Where she’d lied to him. Where she’d learned to love him.

She noticed a book sitting by the stove. Macon’s mother’s recipe book. He’d left it. She would have to make sure it got back to him because she knew how precious it was, but first she opened it. Maybe it would give her some kind of look into the woman who had given birth to the man she loved. Macon had only told her that his real mother had died young and he’d been left with a cold father and a stepmother who hadn’t wanted children.