Lucian Divine(61)

That earned me an Evey smile. Or at least it earned Charlie one.

I knew then that Evey would be the love of my life, but I didn’t know that I would be hers… that I would be her family. Back then, it wasn’t a thought in my mind. I just wanted Evey to grow up and have everything she wanted. All I cared about was her happiness.

All I care about now is her happiness, yet here I am, keeping her to myself and hurting her with each day that passes in this unchartered world we’ve created.





AFTER BROOKE’S WEDDING, Evey lay naked in my arms, in our bed that faced the giant windows looking out to the city.

“I loved your speech. I didn’t expect that.”

“She had it coming,” Evey said groggily. “You’re tired, aren’t you?”

“It’s late.”

“No, I mean, you’re tired. You’re weak.”

I rolled over on top of her and used my index finger to trace a line down the side of her face and over her plump, pink lips. “Never too tired for this.”





HE TOUCHED HIS lips to mine and kissed me softly as he caressed my neck and shoulder.

“Lucian… you don’t have to.”

“I want you, Evey. I’ll always want you.”

Time stopped. We were nothing but bodies loving and touching each other. We were two people, two humans in love, making love. He was young again, just a man, a beautiful, sensual, strong man.

He went up on his knees, leaving my body so he could sit back on his heels. I was waiting, open to him as he stared down at me.

“You are the sexiest thing. I can’t get enough of you,” he said, his voice thoughtful and soft.

A moment later he was inside of me again, thrusting harder, kissing rougher. “Ah, Lucian.”

“I want to die doing this to you,” he whispered near my ear.

“You might get your wish if you don’t slow down.” I felt a climbing ache; I could hear my hard breaths.

He slowed. “I want this to last forever.”

“I can’t hold on,” I breathed.

He held my head, kissing and sucking at my lips and neck, while he moved in and out with perfect force and rhythm. He never let up.

Nothing would ever feel as good as being loved by him.





IN THE MORNING, I heard Lucian tinkering in the kitchen. I could smell coffee and toast. I smiled before opening my eyes and spotting him across the loft. As if he still had that special connection, he turned around and smiled back at me. He was shirtless in flannel pajama bottoms; his body was a work of art. Even though he was weaker than before, he was still so beautiful to look at.

“Come here,” he said.

Wearing one of Lucian’s white T-shirts, I skipped over to the kitchen area and hopped up on the counter. He stood between my legs and ran his hands up my thighs.

“Hello, handsome.”

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said, before kissing me.

I pulled away. “How are you feeling?” I linked my legs behind him.

“I’m okay. Better now that you’re wrapped around me. Hungry?” He reached behind me, grabbed a plate of toast and avocado, and handed it to me.

“Thank you,” I said.

There was some kind of resignation in his demeanor. I would have mistaken it for contentment had I not known how troubled he had been just days before.

“What are you thinking, Evey?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Always have. Always will,” he said.

“I was thinking that you seem different this morning.”

“How so?”

I frowned. “Defeated.”

He shook his head. “Not defeated. I’m not surrendering in the way you think I am. There’s no white flag here. I’m not going to apologize because I love someone. No one should be punished for giving love and getting it in return, even if others think it’s wrong. How can two able-minded adults loving each other ever be wrong? It makes no sense.”

I pecked his lips and smiled. “It’s never felt wrong to me.”

“I don’t know what’s happening, why I’m getting weaker and weaker. I don’t think I’m becoming a normal man at all. And if this is God’s way of punishing me because I love you, the person I was meant to love and protect, then I want nothing to do with him.”

“Can’t you talk to him?”

“I don’t think it works that way. Anyway, I’ve been talking to him for years. So have you. Look where that’s gotten us.”

It pained me to hear Lucian being so cynical. I felt my eyes welling up. “Please don’t be so negative. Anything is possible. Don’t lose faith.”

“You are good through and through, Evelyn Marie Casey. Even now when you’ve been put through so much. I’m not surprised. You’ve always been good, always cared for people.”

“You helped me become who I am.”

“I don’t know anymore if that’s true,” he said.

“You did.” My heart was breaking, one small crack at a time.

He smiled finally. “Well, let’s not dwell on it anymore. I’m tired of thinking about it all.”

“Me too.” I was relieved to see his mood change.