Lucian Divine(55)

Whoa. That pretty much did me in. I was moving hard inside her.

“You’re the only one who can do this to me,” she said.

“Well, I hope so.”

She was falling apart in my arms… trembling. “Oh, Lucian, don’t baby me.”

“Don’t say the word baby right now.” I moved harder and harder, and she was sopping wet everywhere.

That bartender was full of shit. Evey was into it.

Later that night, as we lay in bed, we talked about our plans. Evey kept saying, “One step at a time.” But I had the vague sense that I needed to speed things up.





IT WAS VINTAGE Lucian in the shower that night… strong, powerful, sexy Lucian. Something had come over him. He fell asleep first, which was unusual, but then again, he had hit the whiskey and then expended quite a bit of energy on me.

Halfway through the night, he woke me up when he made a pained sound. He started coughing, so I mindlessly rubbed his back and reached for some water. I was mortified at what happened next. I felt bone and feather breaking apart, disintegrating in my hand. Lucian was weak. He began moaning, so I felt his forehead; he was burning up.

“Lucian,” I whispered.

“I don’t feel well, Evey.”

“Your wings. Try to sit up.”

He sat up while I flipped on the light. He was wearing only boxer briefs, so I could see his back. I saw nothing—no wings, feathers, blood, or broken pieces. He had his elbows resting on his knees over the edge of the bed with his head drooping into his hands.

“Everything hurts,” he said.

“Show me your wings, Lucian.”

“I’m not hiding anything from you.”

They were gone. I felt his back frantically. He fell back into my arms. I held him in my lap. “They’re gone, Lucian.”

“I know,” he said.

“I’m going to CVS to get you some medicine. You have a fever. You might have the flu.”

“I shouldn’t be near you and the baby.”

I ignored him and got up to get dressed. “Lie down. I’ll bring you more water.”

He fell back onto the pillow. After I brought him water, I kissed his forehead and headed out. It was the second time I’d ever left the safety of our home or the loft without Lucian. The first time was just the day before.

Things were changing.

When I returned from the pharmacy, he was curled in a ball, shaking. He could barely speak. His teeth were chattering. “Evey, you can’t go out like that without me.”

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

I gave him Tylenol and wrapped him in blankets. Over the next four hours, I stroked his hair and wiped sweat from his forehead. He would doze off then startle awake.

“What’s happening, Lucian?”

“I don’t know. I know nothing.”

“I’m taking you to the hospital.” I stood abruptly and felt a gush between my legs. No. I held my hand between my legs. “No.”

Lucian looked up at me. “What? What is it?”

Scrambling to the bathroom, I felt the familiar cramping. “No!”

Lucian was behind me, looking pale and weak. I closed the bathroom door as he waited in the hallway. “Tell me what’s going on. Is it happening again?”

Sitting on the toilet, I felt all of the hope, all of the promise leave my body in less than a minute. I cried loudly and dropped my head to my knees. I felt defeated. “God, why are you taking all of this away from us?”

The next thing I knew, Lucian was there with me in the bathroom. He had come through the door somehow, just like he used to. He had cloaked himself, but I felt his familiar comfort around my shoulders.

“I know you’re here,” I said. “You can show yourself.”

The feeling became even stronger, and then I heard his voice. It was almost as if he was far away. He said, “This is all I have left. This is all I can give you.”

I cleaned myself up as best as I could and stood. When I opened the door, Lucian was standing there. I collapsed into his arms.

“This is too much, isn’t it?” he said.

“Don’t give up, please. Don’t give up on us.” I pressed my hand to his head. He was still burning up. Was he burning up literally? “We both need to go to the hospital.”

He cupped my face. “Look at me, Evey.” I looked into his glistening blue eyes and saw all of his love in them. “You are everything to me. You’re the dream, the air, the reason, the cause for my whole existence. If I die today right in front of you, it won’t be because I gave up. I’ll never give up. There is no God that can keep me from you. I’d die ten thousand times for you. I’ve been this thing, this being that no one believed in. I had no legacy. I had to be selfless for so long, then I found you and you always gave more than you took. When you were little, I used to think everything you did was amazing… I still do. I’ve loved you forever. You don’t understand that my life before you was nothing. You made me real. You made me exist… finally. I would take this pain all over again. I wouldn’t change anything.”

I felt tears streaming steadily down my cheeks. Listening to every word that came out of his beautiful mouth, I wondered what I would be without him. If I lost him, I would die. “Don’t say things like that. We’re going to be okay,” I told him.