Lucian Divine(38)

“Zack heard a story about an angel in Memphis who drowned her soul and now they’re together.”

She shook her head. “I’ve heard that story, but I doubt it’s all true. Anyway, why would you want her to become one of us now? Those new versions are a bit janky, you know?”

They really weren’t, but old angels, even me, liked to pretend that we were so much better. If Evey became one of us, she wouldn’t be herself anymore. Everything we’d shared would be gone. If I had been a normal man who had become an angel, I had no memory of my human life at all. She wouldn’t either.

“I wish I could get some answers. Mona knows nothing,” I said.

Abigail arched her thin eyebrows. “No one does.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. We’re just supposed to do the right thing and have faith that everything will work out.” She caressed my cheek with her thumb. I don’t know why I let her.

“That ship has sailed, Abigail. I haven’t been doing the right thing for a while now.”

She moved closer to me. “I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot.”

“I don’t know why it’s possible that I’m in love with Evey. There has to be a reason.”

“Maybe the booze is scrambling your brain.”

“I told you, I quit drinking.”

“Well, we’re different. I don’t understand how you can even be attracted to her. Humans smell gross, and they’re just not good-looking. They’re not like us. I think we can get you back, Lucian. I think I can remind you of what it’s like to be with one of us.”

She leaned up to kiss me, and I pushed her back. “No, stop! What are you doing?”

She scowled. “Geez, you really are fucked in the head.”

“Did I not make it clear? I’m in love with her. The crazy kind of love that you and I have seen over and over… in them, not us. It’s the rip-your-bleeding-heart-out-and-step-in-front-of-a-speeding-train kind of love. You know what I’m talking about.”

She huffed. “Jesus, dramatic much? Duh, Lucian, you feel that way about Evey because you’re built to protect her.”

“I doubt you feel this kind of love for Brooklyn.”

“Yes, I do. I was devastated when she got herpes.”

I shook my head. “That’s not what I mean. I love Evey so much it’s selfish. I crave her touch. The way she looks at me… it’s not the same. I’ve been around long enough to know that.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say. You’re hopeless.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

After she left, I wandered the streets for the rest of magic hour and watched as angels scurried away from me like I was some kind of demon pariah. I went into a liquor store and stole a bottle of Scotch. The counter employee was human, so it was an easy grab. Back at Evey’s apartment, I sat on the floor of her bedroom and drank myself silly.

When she woke up, she spotted me in the corner. I was smiling and probably looking as stupid as I felt.

“Oh, Lucian.”

“I naah tha drunk,” I said, shaking my head.

“Come here.”

I stumbled over and collapsed into her arms. “I gonna be sober in no tine,” I slurred just before passing out.

Sometime later, I woke up to Evey sitting on the bed next to me, holding toast. “You need to eat, and I need to go to work. Why don’t you stay here and get some rest?”

I sat up quickly and leaned against the headboard. “I have to go with you.”

“No, stay, I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t think you understand. I can’t be away from you,” I said.

She smiled shyly. “You’re sweet.”

“No, I literally cannot be away from you, Evey; I’m your guardian angel.”

“Ha…” She looked away curiously. “That’s right. I keep forgetting.”





AFTER THAT NIGHT, we chose to put all of the questions away in the cupboard for a while. We carried on like a couple in love, spending every minute together. However wrong it might have been, we were so lovesick it made our choice to go against the rules feel right. I’d make myself invisible while she was at work, but she knew I was there. I’d knock something over and she’d start giggling, and pretty soon, Tracey thought Evey was losing her mind. But Evey was creating the best designs of her life, and I was the happiest I’d ever been. I didn’t tell Evey that I lost feathers every day and that things that used to be simple for me were getting harder and harder.

I found a weird and crappy way of making money. During magic hours, I’d go into heavy crime areas and steal from thieves. I’d take most of the money back to the rightful owners and keep a small share for myself. I didn’t tell Evey; I wasn’t exactly Robin Hood. I hadn’t seen Zack in a long time. I did wish for a better life for him though. Maybe someday he’d give it all up for love like I had.

I caught Mona coming out of the soda shop one night, but she just held her hand up and said, “I can’t. I’m sorry, Lucian.”

Angels ignored me, God ignored me, I couldn’t even get a retweet on Twitter… but at least I had Evey.