Loving Nicole (Savage Brothers MC #3)(39)

Dani flinches. I scored a hit and I didn’t even mean to, not really. I can’t do this. Not now. Seeing Dani makes my guilt suffocate me.

“I need to go,” I say standing up and walking towards the door. I need to escape.

“Nic, please. I’m so sorry…”

I turn to look at her and she looks so hurt and sad and it physically wounds me, but I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t.

“Being sorry doesn’t change anything. Not a damn thing. I am sorry! I’m sorry I brought this into Dragon’s world. I’m sorry that I put Dragon in danger. I’m sorry I let my loyalty to you overshadow my loyalty to Dragon. I’m sorry I can’t go back. Because if I could, Dani? If I could go back? I’d choose Dragon! I wouldn’t keep your secret. I would tell Dragon everything and not listen to anything you said. I would have slapped your damned face the very minute you told me I couldn’t tell him. I would have…”

“That’s f*cking enough!”

I turn to look at Crusher staring down at me, his face flushed in anger and hate pouring out of his eyes. I embrace the hate. Finally someone is giving me what I deserve. I killed Dragon. They should all hate me instead of being nice to me. I’m so f*cking tired of the nice.

“Oh look Dani your guard dog comes to your rescue. It’s not enough, Crusher. It’s not enough because Dani and I are to blame. It was our secrets that killed Frog. It was our secrets that killed Dragon! I destroyed the man I love. I killed him! And there’s not a damn thing you can say that will change that fact. I killed him!”

“That’s enough, Mamacita.” I turn to see Skull standing at the opened door. Bull is behind him and he looks at me with so much sadness, that I have to avoid his eyes and look back at Skull.

“It’s true.”

“It’s not. The only person responsible for any of this, querida, is the scum I will personally end. Now let us get you and the little one to your room. You should rest. Today has been stressful,” he says guiding me towards the door.

I look over at Dani and she’s crying, but I don’t see hate in her eyes. I don’t know why. I hate me. I allow Skull to lead me outside, his hand at my back.

“Dragon wouldn’t like you being here.”

Skull is silent for a minute and then says, “There comes a time in a man’s life when things are out of his control. Alas, I only want to help you and the little one. So, it is okay si’?”

I don’t reply. I don’t think it would be okay, but that hardly matters now.

“You need to rest, querida. Tomorrow will be a very trying day for you,” he says as we make it to the door of Drag…my room.

“I don’t think that quite sums it up,” I say opening the door.

“Yes well, some words have not been invented. Go rest. I shall be here in the morning to check on you.”

I nod. I don’t really know what to say to that. I don’t think it would make Dragon very happy, but it’s not even like that matters now.

I go through the motions of getting ready for bed. I pull on one of Dragon’s shirts to sleep in. I even go so far as to splash a dash of his cologne on my fingers and rub it on my neck. I choose the very spot Dragon used to kiss after we made love. The aroma fills the air around me and I close my eyes and enjoy it. I crawl into bed hugging his cut close, losing time. I honestly don’t know how long I lie there in the dark. Slowly, I feel my eyes grow heavy and I surrender to sleep. I feel Dragon all around me. His weight on our bed and his warmth at my back.

“You came back…” I whisper groggily.

“I’ll never leave you, Mama. Never.”

“But you did…”

“I’ll always come back to you. Sleep, Mama. Stay strong for our baby.”

“I love you, Dragon.”

“I love you too Mama, forever…”

Even in my sleep the tears find me.





Chapter 24




Nicole


I’m wearing black. I’m not a black person. Still, I’m doing it. I’m wearing a black silk slip dress, with flats because right now wearing heels is beyond my pregnant ass. I have on Dragon’s cut over it and I feel horribly out of place. I don’t even understand why. Maybe it’s the clothes that just feel…wrong. It could be the fact that my stomach has grown so big you could serve a three course meal on it and I’m not even near my due date. It probably has more to do with sitting in this god-awful chair listening to the President of the Tennessee chapter talk about serving with Dragon overseas. He acts as if they were best friends. I can’t remember Dragon talking about a Diesel. The fact that there was so much of his life that I didn’t know irritates me. Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t Dragon and I talk more? We should have. We should have spent more time together.

There’s a woman wearing a yellow dress that really is doing nothing for her figure. I don’t remember seeing her before. She’s not with any of the chapters. She’s not wearing a cut that says she is property of one of the brothers. No one is really talking to her. She’s in the next aisle across from me, about three rows back, but she’s crying.

Dancer has been moved down the row today to make room for Skull. Why Skull feels it is okay for him to sit in chairs made for those closest to Dragon, I don’t know. Dancer didn’t argue; however, so I don’t say anything. What could I say? Bull is still on the other side of me. I notice him giving Skull hateful looks, and had it not felt like my heart was being ripped out—I would have smiled. I elbow Bull and motion towards the strawberry blonde crying.