Loving Her (Mitchell Family #9)(44)
That following night, I headed into Izzy’s room after dinner. She was sitting on her bed, working on a school paper. I sat on the edge and looked over at her. “We need to do our exercise now, Iz.”
“Can we do it tomorrow? I don’t feel like talkin’.”
“We have to do it every night. Don’t you want things to get better? I hate that you won’t talk to me. I miss you, Iz.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your Izzy anymore.”
I closed my eyes as my lips began to tremble. “Please don’t say that.”
“It’s true. I’m not doin’ these questions with you. You can’t make me talk. You can’t make me do anything.” She packed her papers into her book bag and sat it down on the floor. Then she got under her covers and rolled on her side, like I wasn’t even there.
I stood up and started to walk out of the room. My head rested on the door as I considered yelling, pleading or anything that would get her attention. Deciding that it would only piss her off more, I knew I had to walk away. “You’ll always be my Izzy, because you’ll always be my daughter. Even if you hate me forever, I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll never stop waiting for you to forgive me.”
I went straight to my room and closed the door. It wasn’t something I wanted to talk to Miranda about. All I wanted to do was be alone. It was exhausting living like this day after day. I wanted my family back and I could tell that it was beginning to take a toll on us all.
Miranda came in a short while later, probably because she’d noticed that I wasn’t in Izzy’s room. I’d already gotten into bed and turned off the lights. She sat down beside me and rubbed my back. “I guess it didn’t go well?”
“She told me not to call her Izzy anymore. Miranda, I don’t know how much more I can take of this. It’s tearing me apart by the second. I’m sick of feeling like I’m helpless.”
“I just talked to my mom. She and John want to take to the kids for the weekend. They are coming to get them on Friday. I know she’s still punished, but I think we all need a break. Maybe if she’s gone for a few days she’ll get homesick and realize we’re all she has.”
I rolled over and looked at her. “I’m willing to try anything. You know that.”
“Good, because I already told her it was okay. Let’s just try to get through this week. I know it’s hard. I hate this. She’s so stubborn.”
I grabbed her hand. “She’s like her mother.”
“Well, if she’s so much like me, then I know she’ll forgive you.” She leaned down and kissed me on the lips.
I couldn’t give up on hoping she’d come around. It wasn’t the guilt that was killing me anymore. It was the pain. I longed to have her love me again and the longer I went without it, the emptier I felt.
Chapter 24
Miranda
I’d like to say that things started to get better after seeing the therapist, but it wasn’t the case. Nothing had changed.
We were stuck in this vicious circle of ignoring the issue, every day and every night. I missed my family and the way we used to do things together. Now, getting them in the same room was impossible.
You couldn’t even cut the tension in the house with a chainsaw. Bella stayed in her room, while Ty stayed in ours. Neither of them wanted to bump into the other. The exercises didn’t do anything except frustrate Ty more. Each night he’d go in and attempt to do them. Ten minutes later he’d come out upset.
Bella refused to associate with Ty or do things with her brothers, and she wasn’t exactly being friendly to me, either. By the time Friday came along, I was excited for her to get away. Don’t get me wrong, I adored my children, but something had to give. Maybe if they had a break from each other, Bella would miss us and start to appreciate the life she had.
My mother and John came while the kids were still in school. It gave us a chance to talk and fill her in on everything. I could see that she was hurt by all of this. The thing was, there wasn’t one person in our family who was against Ty being Bella’s father. They all wanted it to happen, so clearly they were as upset as we were that she’d learned about Tucker.
My family had hated the man from the beginning. I’d always had terrible taste in men, but he was by far the worst. Many times I thought my brother was going to kill him, especially after I found out I was pregnant.
Usually when someone’s in a relationship, even when it’s bad, you can pick out the good times and focus on them. Unfortunately, there were no good times to remember about Tucker. He was a liar, a cheater, and a criminal. I was the biggest fool for being interested in someone like him, and it hurt so much knowing that it was my fault he’d come into our lives and made such a mess of things. After all these years, his ghost was still haunting us and wreaking havoc on our future.
More than anyone, Van was especially upset. The things that went down with her and Tucker had scarred her for life. She never wanted her children to know about that horrible time. There was a chance that Noah had already dug too deep. If he knew, it was only a matter of time before it came out.
It would break Van’s heart to be looked at as the victim, especially now after everything they’d gotten through. The woman had battled breast cancer and came out healthier than ever. She was a fighter, even if she didn’t know it herself. I hated that my child could dredge up something that should have stayed buried forever.