Loving Her (Mitchell Family #9)(24)

“She’s curious, Ty. Wouldn’t you be?”

I rolled the paper up and threw it as far as it would go. In the meantime, Colt had climbed off of the Bobcat and come rushing over. “What’s goin’ on?”

He picked up the paper that had only traveled a good five feet. From the look on his face, I knew he was thinking the same thing as I was. “I guess they sat up last night and researched.”

“I’ll take his computer away.” Colt’s threats meant nothing. Who knew how much more they’d dug?

“It doesn’t matter. At some point she’s going to figure it out if she hasn’t already.” I ran my hands through my hair and turned around so I wasn’t looking at Colt or Miranda.

“I’ll go find them,” Colt suggested.

“No! I can’t. I can’t look her in the eye right now. I’m not ready for this.”

Miranda touched my back and I just stood there, unresponsive. “Babe, don’t get upset. You don’t know.”

I turned angrily. “I don’t know what, Miranda? I do know. I know I’ve lied to her for her whole life. She’ll forgive you, because you’re her real birth parent. I’m not. Don’t you get it? The damage is done.” I stormed off, leaving them standing there.

When I got back in the house, I went into the bathroom and ran water over my face before sitting down on the closed toilet seat and losing it. I put my hands over my face and felt the burning tears falling down my cheeks. I was a grown man who’d made the decision to love a little girl. I’d done everything for her, including giving her my name. How could I imagine my life without her love?

How could I look her in the eye and admit to being a liar?

How would she ever be able to love me again?

The pain ripped through me, and I was too upset to realize that Van had opened the door and come into the bathroom. She knelt down in front of me and placed her hands on my knees. It took one look for me to fall against her and let it out. She rubbed my back and comforted me the best she could. “I told her not to tell you.”

I pulled away. “I had a right to know.”

“You don’t know anything, Ty. You’re assuming the worst, because it’s what you’ve always feared. Be rational. That little girl loves you more than anything in the whole world.”

I thought about Izzy and how Van had a similar situation with raising Noah. “It’s easy for you, because Noah’s always known the truth. She’s never going to forgive me.”

She leaned back against the wall and brought her knees up to her chest. Miranda came in the small bathroom and sat down beside her. “I don’t want to lose her.”

Miranda reached over and grabbed my hand. “Ty, that’s not goin’ to happen. Even if she figures it out, or she’s terribly mad at us, she’ll get over it.”

“When, Miranda? When she’s thirty? Do you have any idea how hard this is? I have woken up every day for almost eleven years knowing that I had her love. Imagining that gone makes me sick. I hate hurting her. This isn’t just about me and my feelings. It’s about Izzy. It’s about everything she ever believed having been a lie. Me hurting her hurts me. She deserves to know the truth. I never should have been selfish. I never should have taken matters into my own hands. If we’d just been honest, none of this would be happening.”

“Don’t say that. We did what we did to protect her. None of us wanted anything to do with that bastard. We did it so that she’d never have to know the kind of man that he was. You’re her only father, Ty.” Van was adamant, and I could tell from the way she spoke about Izzy finding out not only hurt me, but the whole family. Van had so many bad memories because of that scum. She didn’t want to think about the baby she’d lost and what she had to do to survive.

“Look, I know this is more than just me. I get that we all have a part in this. I’m not trying to be a selfish *.”

“Nobody thinks that,” Miranda announced.

“She’s right. We don’t expect you to not be upset, but no matter what happens, you’re not in this alone. We’ve all lived with this lie. Every single member of this family covered up the secret. This isn’t your problem to deal with alone. We’re in this together, just like when we all decided to go through with it. I think instead of freaking out, we need to figure out exactly what they know. If I have to, I can talk to Noah in private. He’ll tell me the truth if I let him know what Tucker did to me.”

“No! I won’t let you bring that back up, Van. You’ve come too far to have to relive that.”

“Shut up. It’s my story to tell. If I can help you, it’s worth it.”

“No.” I looked Van right in the eye. “Promise me that you’ll keep that part a secret. I don’t want you talking about it. I mean it, Van.”

She put her hands up. “Fine. Have it your way. I just think it would be better if she knew the kind of man she’s looking into. She’s pulled up his obituary, so don’t you think she deserves to know how he died?”

“No!” A deep voice caught us all off guard. Colt stood in the doorway and he was not happy at what his wife was willing to do for me. “You will never tell our son what you did. Your life was on the line and it was an accident. He’ll never understand and I don’t want any of our kids ever hearing about that night. Do you hear me, darlin’?”