Lover Revealed (Black Dagger Brotherhood #4)(111)

He grabbed his shirt and went after her.

As they went along, he took her elbow…but had the sense that she was leading him.



When they got to the Pit, Butch could not read Marissa’s mood. She was quiet, but she’d marched across the courtyard like a soldier, nothing but strength and focus.

“I’d like a drink,” she said as he shut the door.

“Okay.” This at least he could handle. Assuming they had anything but hard liquor in the house.

He went into the kitchen and cracked the fridge. Oh, man…decaying bags of Taco Hell and Arby’s. Mustard packets. Two inches of milk that was now a solid. “I’m not sure what we’ve got. Um…water—”

“No, I want a drink.”

He looked up over the icebox door. “All…right. We have Scotch and vodka.”

“I’ll try the vodka.”

As he poured her some Grey Goose over ice, he watched her walk around. She checked out V’s computers. The Foosball table. The plasma screen TV.

He went over to her. He wanted her in his arms; he gave her the glass.

She put it to her mouth, tilted her head back, took a long one…and coughed until her eyes watered. While she choked, he maneuvered her onto the couch and sat down next to her.

“Marissa—”

“Shut up.”

Okaaay. He clasped his hands together as she struggled with the Goose. After she got down about half an inch, she put the stuff on the coffee table with a grimace.

She tackled him so fast, Butch never saw it coming. One second he was staring at his tightly laced fingers. The next, he was pressed into the sofa and she was straddling him and…oh, God, her tongue was in his mouth.

She felt so damned good, but the vibe was all wrong. The desperation and the anger and the fear just weren’t appropriate background music. They were going to end up further apart if they kept going.

He held her back from him, even though his cock screamed in protest. “Marissa—”

“I want to have sex.”

He closed his eyes. Christ, so did he. All night long. Except not like this.

He took a deep breath, trying to frame the words right…and when he opened his lids, she’d pulled off her turtleneck and was working the clasp of a black bra that totally knocked him out.

His hands tightened on her waist as those satin cups came off her and her nipples tightened in the chill. He leaned forward, ready to put his lips to the first piece of her he hit, when he stopped. He was not going to take her like this. The air was too hard between them.

He stopped her hands as they went to his pants. “Marissa…no.”

“Don’t say that.”

He sat up, putting her back from his body. “I love you.”

“Then don’t stop me.”

He shook his head. “I won’t do this. Not as we are now.”

She stared at him in disbelief. Then snatched her wrists out of his hold and turned her head from him.

“Marissa—”

She shrugged off his hands, batting them away. “I can’t believe this. Our one night together and you say no.”

“Let me…Christ…let me hold you. Come on, Marissa.”

She rubbed her eyes. Laughed in a tragic little burst. “I am destined to go to my grave a virgin, aren’t I? Sure, technically I’m not, but—”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t be with you.” She glanced over at him, tears glimmering on her lashes. “I just…Not with the anger. It’ll pollute the whole thing. I want it to be…special.”

So what if that line was right out of a high school playbook. It was the truth.

“Baby, why don’t we just go into my bedroom and lie down in the dark.” He handed her back the turtleneck and she put the thing to her breasts. “If we end up doing nothing but staring at the ceiling all night long, at least we’ll be together. And if something happens? It won’t be about pissed off and frustrated. Okay?”

She wiped off the two tears that had fallen. Pulled her shirt on over her head. Looked at the vodka she’d tried to drink.

He got to his feet and offered her his hand. “Come back with me.”

After a long moment, her palm met his and he pulled her up and took her down to his bedroom. When he shut the door, everything went pitch-black, so he clicked on the little lamp on the dresser. The low-watt bulb glowed like embers in a fireplace.

“Come here.” He drew her over to the bed, laid her down, and eased himself next to her so he was on his side and she on her back.

As he smoothed some of her hair out on the pillow, she closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. Gradually, the tension loosened in her body.

“You’re right. That wouldn’t have gone well.”

“It isn’t because I don’t want you.” As he kissed her on the shoulder, she turned her face to his hand and pressed her lips to his palm.

“Are you scared?” she said. “About what’ll happen to you tomorrow?”

“No.” The only thing he worried about was her. He didn’t want her to watch him die. Prayed it wouldn’t come to that.

“Butch…about your human family. Do you want them to be told if you—”

“Nope, there’s no need to tell them anything. And don’t talk like that. I’ll be fine.” Please, God, let her not have to see me pass.