Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood #3)(131)

“You were so brave,” he said. “I owe you my life. His, too. You are so…brave.”

The hell she was. She was about to break down completely. “I hope you and Phury heal up fast. Yeah, I hope…”

There was a long silence. Then she took one last look at Zsadist’s face. She knew then that even if she mated somewhere down the line, no male would ever take his place.

And as unromantic as it sounded, that just plain sucked. Sure, she was supposed to triumph over loss and all that. But she loved him and she wasn’t going to end up with him, and all she wanted to do was get in a bed somewhere, turn the lights off, and just lie there. For, like, a century.

“I need you to know something,” she said. “You told me that someday I would wake up and regret being with you. Well, I do. But not because of what the glymera would say.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “After having been burned by high society once, I’m no longer afraid of the aristocracy, and I would have been proud…to stand at your side. But yes, I am sorry I was with you.”

Because leaving him was a shattering blow. Worse than everything she’d gone through with the lesser.

All things considered, it would have been better not to know what she was missing.

Without another word she turned and left the room.





As dawn creeped over the landscape, Butch walked into the Pit, took off his coat, and sat down on the leather sofa. SportsCenter was on mute. Kanye West’s Late Registration was on surround sound.

V appeared in the kitchen’s doorway, clearly just in from a night of fighting: He was shirtless and sporting a shiner, still in his leathers and shitkickers.

“How you doing?” Butch asked, eyeing another black-and-blue that was popping up on his roommate’s shoulder.

“No better than you. You look beat, cop.”

“For real.” He let his head fall back. Watching over Z had seemed like the thing to do while the other Brothers had been out doing their job. But he was exhausted, even though all he’d done was park it in a chair for three days straight.

“I’ve got something to perk you up. Here.”

Butch shook his head as a wineglass appeared in front of his face. “You know I don’t drink red.”

“Try it.”

“Nah, I need a shower and then something with a little more bite in it.” Butch planted his hands into his knees and started to get up.

Vishous stepped in the way. “You need this. Trust me.”

Butch let his ass sink back down as he took the glass. He sniffed at the wine. Drank some. “Not bad. Little thick, but not bad. Is this a merlot?”

“Not really.”

He tilted his head back and swallowed seriously. The wine was strong, burning its way to his stomach, making him a little light-headed. Which made him wonder when the last time he’d eaten had been.

As he sucked back the last inch, he frowned. Vishous was watching him far too closely.

“V? Something wrong?” He put the glass on a table and cocked an eyebrow.

“No…no, everything’s cool. Everything’s going to be cool now.”

Butch thought about his roommate’s troubles of late. “Hey, I meant to ask about your visions. They still gone?”

“Well, I had one about ten minutes ago. So maybe they’re back.”

“That’d be good. I don’t like to see you all freaked out.”

“You’re all right, cop. You know that?” Vishous smiled and pushed a hand through his hair. As his arm dropped, Butch caught sight of the Brother’s wrist. On the inside of it there was a fresh red cut. Like, one that had been made minutes ago.

Butch looked at the wineglass. A horrible suspicion carried his eyes to his roommate’s drinking point again.

“Jesus…Christ. V, what…what did you do?” He shot to his feet just as the first spasm overtook his stomach. “Oh, God…Vishous.”

He ran for his toilet to throw up, but he didn’t make it that far. As soon as he flew into his room V tackled him from behind, taking him down onto the bed. When he started to gag, Vishous flipped him over onto his back and pushed the heel of his hand up against Butch’s chin, keeping his mouth shut.

“Don’t fight it,” V said roughly. “Keep it down. You need to keep it down.”

Butch’s gut heaved and he choked on the shit that shot up into his throat. Panicked, nauseated, unable to breathe, he shoved against the heavy body that straddled him and managed to knock Vishous off to the side. But before he could get free, V grabbed him from behind and forced his jaw shut again.

“Keep…it…down…” V groaned as they struggled on the bed.

Butch felt a thick leg come around and trap his thighs. The wrestling move worked. He couldn’t move. He fought anyway.

The spasms and the nausea intensified until he thought his eyes were going to burst. Then there was an explosion in his gut, and sparks started flowing throughout his body…sparks that lit off a tingling…now a hum. He fell still, the fight going out of him as he absorbed the sensations.

V’s hold eased up and he took his hand away, though he

kept an arm around Butch’s chest. “That’s right…. Just breathe through it. You’re doing fine.”