Loved (House of Night Other World #1)(94)

Instantly, Kevin was bathed in such a sense of compassion—of endless, unconditional love—that he knew beyond any doubt Nyx was his goddess, too.

Zo smiled through her tears at him. “How about you close our circle?”

He had to wipe his eyes and clear his throat before he could answer her. “I don’t know how, Zo.”

“It’s easy. Just go backwards—that always closes a circle, ends a ritual or spell. Start here. Release the element and blow out the candle.”

“Um, spirit. Thank you for coming. And you can go now.” He felt awkward, but he blew out the candle and felt the release of a little spark within him that he knew was spirit.

Grinning in spite of his nerves, he made his way around the circle in the opposite direction, releasing each of the elements. When he was finished, they all rushed to congratulate him—all talking at once. All except Zoey.

He knew what was wrong with her, but he didn’t want to think about it just then. Didn’t want to talk about it just then.

Aphrodite approached him. “Ya know, you’re not bad for a kid.”

Buoyed by the miracle that had just happened to him, Kevin put a hand over his heart and bowed to her. “Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, Prophetess, Savior, and beauty—if you would spend some alone time with me, I’d show you youth has its benefits.”

Aphrodite’s smile was a cat licking cream. “Ooooh, Z, I know who got all the game in your family.”

“I’d like to add smart to my list of compliments,” Kev quipped.

The mountain of muscle called Darius stepped forward. “Back off, boy.”

Aphrodite slid her arm around the Warrior’s waist. “Oh, handsome, you’re adorable when you’re jealous.” As she and Darius walked away, she batted her impossibly long eyelashes at Kevin and blew him a kiss over her shoulder.

He fell back, pretending to catch her kiss, and almost knocked his sister over.

Zoey rolled her eyes.

“Yep, he’s totally threatened by me. I can tell.”

“You’re gonna get your butt kicked. I can tell,” Zo said.

Kevin took a Karate Kid stance, arms out like a crane. One foot lifted, he waved his hands like a giant bird and made a “Waaaa-chaw!” cry, jumping up and kicking out ridiculously. “That’s right. Um hum. He can try to kick my butt.”

Stark shook his head. “Pathetic. Truly pathetic. But also there’s no doubt that you’re Z’s brother.”

Zoey was staring at him. Kevin could see her struggling not to laugh and he jumped up again, yelling another “Waaaa-chaw!”

Zo started to giggle. She tried to stop, which made her snort, which in turn made Kevin snort. Then the whole room was laughing.

That’s when it happened.

It hit Kevin hard. He knew what he had to do. He didn’t want to. He wanted to do anything but that—except he really didn’t have any choice. He realized then he’d never really had any choice.

And his laughter changed. Turned to tears. The tears turned to sobs. Kevin stumbled to the statue of Nyx and knelt at her feet, as he had at his sister’s feet just a few minutes before.

Zo was there. So was G-ma. They put their arms around him. He felt the other four—air, fire, water, and earth join them in their tight circle of support and comfort, hope and love.

Then he said it. He finally said it. His voice was thick with tears, but he spoke carefully, so that it filled Nyx’s Temple and, hopefully, lifted to the Goddess herself.

“I’ve killed so many people. I didn’t want to. I didn’t let them suffer. But I did it. I did kill. And I have to go back. I have to join the rebels. I have to … I have to …” his words faltered as his heart broke. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted so, so badly to stay here in this wonderful world that wasn’t filled with war and insanity. He wanted to stay with his sister and her family of friends.

“Atone.” Zoey’s voice was soft, but it carried like the scent of vanilla and lavender, permeating everything.

Kevin sighed with relief and nodded. “Yes. I have to atone. To find forgiveness—if Nyx will let me.”

“Oh, Kev,” Z said through her tears. “She already forgives you. Now you have to find a way to forgive yourself.”

“I’ll find that back there. Back in that world. I can make a difference there, just like you have here.”

Zoey stepped back, wiping her eyes with G-ma. Stark produced tissues from somewhere, handing them around the circle. Even Aphrodite and Darius joined them—though Darius didn’t even look close to crying.

“But how are you gonna get back?” Stevie Rae asked. “We barely know how we got you here.”

Kevin blinked in surprise at her. “That’s obvious. You just showed me how.”

“Huh?” Zo said.

“Do what you did to get me here again, only this time, do it backwards. Like you close a circle or end a spell or ritual—with the opposite of what you did before.”

“That might actually work,” said Damien.

“We should practice,” said Zoey.

Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t have time for you to practice. I need to get back there.”

“You can wait a few days. Let us think through this. Experiment. What if we mess things up even worse than they are now?” Zo said.