Loved (House of Night Other World #1)(89)

“Which means what in your world, dear?” Grandma asked.

“It usually means brainless soldiers, walking viruses, and killing machines. Some kids stay mostly themselves after they’re Marked red, but you can always tell when someone’s getting closer and closer to the Change. They turn.”

“Explain turn,” Darius said.

“The hunger gets them. They turn from being mostly human, to being mostly eating machines. Once a red fledgling is fully Changed, only a few—like maybe one in a hundred—can reason through their hunger. Those of us who can are made officers in Neferet’s Red Army. The others are soldiers.”

“And you’re an officer?” Grandma asked.

“Yep. Like you, Stark.” Stark stiffened, but Other Kevin just kept on talking. “Well, not exactly like you. I’m just a lieutenant. You’re a general.”

“But aren’t you young to be Marked at all?” Aphrodite asked as she picked up one of Grandma’s cookies and nibbled on it.

“He just turned sixteen in August,” Grandma said.

“Yep. I was barely fifteen when I was Marked. I’m the youngest kid to ever be Marked at the Tulsa House of Night—red or blue. And I Changed faster than anyone on record—within one month.”

“Why are you okay right now and no one who was with you is okay?” Stark asked.

“Other Jack’s doing fine. Well, he is now,” Aphrodite said.

“But the rest of the fledglings aren’t,” Darius said. “And of the vampyres with you, three committed suicide and the two who are downstairs are in bad shape. What’s different about you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never known. It’s not that I didn’t have their hunger. I did. It was terrible. But I could reason through it. I was sure I’d lose myself like everyone else did when they Changed, but I didn’t.”

“What did your mentor say about it?” I asked.

“Zo, in my world red fledglings don’t have mentors. They have handlers. And none of them are one-on-one. Basically, you’re herded with other fledglings from one weapons class to another until you Change. Then they wait and see if you can reason through your hunger. If you can’t—you’re a soldier. If you can—you go into officer training. But you don’t have a mentor. You have OICs.”

“Huh?”

“Officers in Charge,” he clarified. “And you don’t talk to them about anything except fighting and killing.”

“No one knew you were different?” Grandma asked before I could.

My stomach hurt for Other Kevin.

He shook his head. “I got good at hiding it. They wanted us to do things. Terrible, awful things.” Other Kevin was holding his fork halfway to his mouth, just staring down at his plate.

“Kev?” I spoke softly.

“It’s okay, dear.” Grandma rested her hand on his arm. “We have battled Darkness. We will not judge you.”

He jerked and put his fork down. He took a big gulp from his glass, and then placed his hand over Grandma’s and met my gaze. “Being able to think clearly most of the time is an advantage—especially when no one knows you can. I made sure I kept myself out of the worst situations. But sometimes I couldn’t bear the thirst—the hunger. When that happened I made it fast for my victim. Painless.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose in a gesture I remembered so well. “There were times when I was sure I was going mad—when I thought, ‘Well, this is it—this is when I turn into one of them.’ But then I’d have one of those Nyx dreams and I’d wake up myself again.”

I sat up straighter. Grandma and Aphrodite leaned forward. “Nyx dreams?” Grandma asked.

“Yeah, what kind of Nyx dreams?” I said.

He shrugged. “I’ve had tons of them. After the first one, I don’t remember them clearly. Just the goddess’ smile and the way her hand felt resting on my head. Sometimes I’d wake up thinking that I’d been sleeping with my head on her shoulder.” He glanced sheepishly at me. “Real dumb, huh?”

“Not necessarily,” I said.

“Tell us about the first dream—the one you remember,” Aphrodite said.

Kev grinned at her. “Anything you say, Goddess of Love.”

I kicked him under the table.

“Hey!”

“Focus,” I said. “On the dream.”

“It’s going to sound weird, but I remember every bit of it. It started at your farm, Grandma. I was trying to find you, but I was sick and dizzy and I tripped. In my dream I hit my head and when I woke up—which sounds weird because I was technically still sleeping, but in my dream, my dream-self woke up.”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it,” Aphrodite said. “Keep going.”

“Hey, y’all aren’t havin’ a party without us!” Stevie Rae, holding Rephaim’s hand, smacked Stark on the shoulder and he slid over to make room for them.

“We’re not partying, bumpkin. Kev is telling us about the Nyx dream he had after he was Marked,” Aphrodite said. “Here, have a cookie and be quiet.”

I made quick introductions. “Kevin, this is Stevie Rae and her mate, Rephaim. Guys, this is my brother, Other Kevin.”