Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(88)

He laughed and looked right at me. “Me too.”

I shook my head and smiled. “No, I think I even remember the exact moment. We were all three in the tub together. I guess we were around five. I’d asked my mother if she’d stop making me take baths with you two, because Branch made fun of me all of the time. Remember he used to point at me and laugh because I was different?”

Brooks smiled and pulled me closer against his chest. We both looked over to make sure B was still sleeping. “Yeah, I remember. He only picked on you, because he liked you.”

“Don’t take up for him.” I slapped him lightly on the chest. “Anyway, this one time he said I was ugly. It made me cry. You pushed him against the faucet and it cut his back. He got out crying and ran and told on you. Then you looked right at me, as innocent as it probably was, and told me-” He cut me off before I could finish.

“You’re pretty to me. That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”

I couldn’t believe he remembered it after all of the years that had passed. “Yes.”

“Well, you were always pretty, until you hit puberty. Then you became beautiful.”

His words took my breath away. I looked right at him and saw him smiling and I began to cry. “I don’t deserve you.”

He ran his hand through my hair as he spoke. “You know, Kat, I told my Mom once that I was in love with you. I think we were around ten and we’d all three been up in the tree house playing. You had those Barbie’s up there and Branch kept throwing them out and making you climb down and get them. About the third time he did it, I grabbed his arm and yanked it until he cried. I remember him running to tell on me and when Mom asked me why I did it, I looked right up at her and said ‘because I love her’. I think my mom always knew that it had never gone away. She even suspected something the night of our first kiss, or maybe my brother ran in and tattled about what we were doing. She kept giving me an evil eye all night, silently accusing me of something. Maybe I just felt like we’d done something naughty. At any rate, she knew how I felt about you. So did my dad. He pulled me aside when you started dating Branch. He told me that there were plenty of other girls out there for me. He didn’t get that I didn’t want any other girls. It’s the reason I started bringing random girls home. Part of it was because I thought you’d get jealous and want me instead of Branch. The other part was because they both pulled me aside and asked me if I was okay with you being with him. I couldn’t admit that I wasn’t. Mom made a huge deal trying to keep me occupied while you were doing your own things and making out with Branch. Finally, I knew they wouldn’t stop until I showed them that I didn’t care. It wasn’t always an act. Some of those girls were fun.” He started laughing, knowing he’d gotten to me.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“Stop. Kat, no matter who I was with, in my eyes, they were always you. Besides, I wasn’t innocent. I lost my virginity to a girl who didn’t even know it was me. You could hate me forever for that one alone, but I went and did it twice, because I couldn’t say no to you. I couldn’t go and get Branch, when I knew I could be what you wanted. I used to dream that halfway into it you’d say you knew it was me the whole time. I was pretty messed up.”

“You know, the first time, it was only my second time. It’s probably why Branch didn’t even understand what I was talking about. I wasn’t running around sleeping with your brother. It took me a long time to do that. Maybe I always knew that it wasn’t right.”

“Damn, if I’d have known that I probably would have told you, seeing as I know I was better. I watched a lot of porn while you were out with my brother. You can learn so much if you turn the volume down and fast forward through the story part.”

“Eww, don’t tell me that.”

He laughed. “You should see the collection we had overseas. It gets real lonely.”

I decided to nix the conversation before I learned even more that I didn’t want to know.

“I wish we could go back.”

“Don’t,” he said as he kissed the top of my head. “We’re here now. All of that bullshit that we’ve gone through has only made what we have stronger. I’m not living in the past, Katy. It’s time to move forward. I’ll be by your side if you want to divorce Bobby. If you’re not ready…”

“Not ready? It should have never happened. I think everyone is forgetting that I didn’t marry him because I wanted to. I married him because I was out of options. Bobby was good to me for the most part, but I will definitely be divorcing him, the sooner the better.”

“Just checking. So, about the plan. Will you go along with it?”

I placed my hands on his chest and leaned my chin on them. “I’ll do whatever you want me to, Brooks.”

He raised his brows. “Don’t tell me that. I’ll start making lists.”

I reached down under the covers, first touching his thigh and then what was waiting in between. He got ready to say something else, when we heard someone climbing off the bed next to us. Brooks noticed her first. He held out his arms for her to climb up and join us. “There’s my girl. Come up here. Let’s get Mama.”

She jumped up, already fueled with energy. I removed my hand and pulled the covers up over my body, so she wouldn’t see that we weren’t dressed. Brooks offering to tell his parents that he knew about B would definitely make me feel better. Then all I’d have to feel guilty for was leaving Branch at the alter after sleeping with Brooks.