Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1)(14)

When I was standing there, completely naked, he held out his arms, in which I walked over and fell into. Our kisses were slow and he moved his tongue against mine as if we had all the time in the world.

I could feel his warm hands running up my waist and over my chest. He circled my nipples with his finger and leaned in to caress and touch each one of them. I bit down on my lips and concentrated on every single inch of me that he was handling. When he reached between my legs, I closed my eyes and let the fire ignite. Branch was there, giving me everything that I ever wanted. I cried out when his fingers entered me, and we were finally on the bed together.

He kissed my abdomen, then my thighs, before trailing his lips over the top of my sex. His mouth lingered over it, brushing it enough for me to yearn for more. Then like every time we were together, he applied protection, moved up and entered me.

He was almost always on top, not that I minded. I liked wrapping my legs around his back and watching him work up a sweat. Except, only moments later, he was biting on the pillow next to me and finishing.

Afterwards, I lay there next to him, watching him until he fell asleep. He looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake him when I couldn’t get comfortable.

I dressed into comfortable clothes and roamed around the house until I came to Brooks’ door. It creaked when I opened it and I made sure nobody had heard me before I snuck inside.

His room had been straightened up, either by Danica or their new cleaning lady that came monthly. It took me a couple minutes to find his art book and turn to the page where I’d found my picture. I traced the lines of my face on the paper and cried to myself, thinking about how different things would have been if my parents hadn’t died that day.

Then, I went back into the Branch’s room and pulled the letter to me out of the pocket of my dress. I crept back in Brooks’ room and stuck it under his pillow. When or if he came home to visit, he’d know that I’d seen it.

I knew I couldn’t respond, but needed him to know that I’d found it.

In my heart I knew that if I’d found that note when he’d wrote it, things may have been different. I wouldn’t have been so vested in my relationship and future with Branch and we could have tried to sort out whatever feelings we had for each other.

The damage was done.

I was marrying his brother, because we loved each other and it was the right thing to do. We’d been together for years and no old love letter could change that. Brooks had made his choice. He could have fought for me, but he didn’t. Him giving up on us was the reason I knew I was making the right choice.





Chapter 6


May 2010


I’d been engaged for a little over five months, and in that time, I’d been planning the perfect wedding for Branch and me. He did his best to help me, but as far as details went, he couldn’t care less as long as I was happy.

Danica helped me most of the time, since I was as close to a real daughter as she’d ever get. I remember when I drove over to spend the weekend at her house and go dress shopping. My friend Melissa from school had come with me. She was familiar with the surrounding areas of D.C. and had grown up close to there herself. I’d met her through my job near the college, and after working together for almost three years we’d become pretty close.

She was thrilled to have been asked to be in the wedding and I was glad I had her in my life to ask. Of course, Brooks was going to be the best man and knowing that made me feel uneasy. I’d had several dreams where the pastor asked if anyone objected and he did every time.

Since I’d only received a few messages since Christmas, I was concerned how it would be once we finally got to see him again.

Of course time had passed and with that I was able to build a stronger relationship with Branch. My letters to Brooks were nothing but hellos and it made me feel like eventually we’d be able to be around each other without weird feelings.

Dress shopping was exhausting, and after trying on practically the entire store, I ended up getting the second one. We stopped in town for nice dinner and chatted amongst ourselves until the sun went down.

It was nice spending time with Danica without any of the men around. I looked forward to doing it more, especially when school was over and we could buy a place of our own. They’d want us to live close once our children were born, so they wouldn’t miss out on seeing them.

After our long day, we had a few more glasses of wine, and I got Melissa situated in my old room. While making my way to Branch’s, I happened to stop in to Brooks’. I don’t know what made me do it, but I lifted up the pillow and noticed the note was gone. I was overwhelmed with panic and guilt imagining that one of his parents had discovered it and knew our secret.

I searched his room and couldn’t find it, but refused to make a scene over it.

That next morning I think Danica knew something was up with me. It was a good thing we had to get back early for a shift, because I had no idea how much longer I could pretend that I wasn’t freaking out.

The first thing I did when I got home was sit down and write Brooks a letter. I needed to warn him that someone else knew about us being together. If Branch found out, he’d kill him.



It was hard to explain how I was the one who’d moved the letter and it was all my fault that his private thoughts were exposed.



Dear Brooks,