Lost in La La Land(54)

He closed the door and pointed to the black dial on the wall. “This is the heat control. The room is insulated very well but also has a ventilation system to prevent moisture. It’s a dry sauna.” He led me to the next door down the hallway, opening it. “And your spa tub.” This room was different than the sauna, completely opposite. It was a dressing area, complete with a changing room and that led to a large glass door. Brightness filled the space as if lights were on inside the spa room behind the glass door but they weren’t. When he opened it, light flooded in from a huge glass extension, a ceiling and walls made of windows like a solarium. He pressed a button on the wall and the windows opened, bringing in cool air and the smell of spring.

The tub was massive, big enough to fit six people.

The room was done in bright white tiles on the walls, ceiling, and around the tub and seating areas.

It was stunning.

I turned to him. “I think you’re making this a hotel.”

“What?” He shrugged. “It just felt right. I mean, you can’t have a hot tub in an enclosed area. You need to feel the rain and snow, and this room is watertight.”

“This is insane.”

“You don't like it?” He cocked his eyebrow, calling bullshit on my statement.

“I like it. It’s just crazy to see such efforts going into a spa tub. It looks like a spa.”

“You never know, Em. You might decide to turn the old place into an inn. At some point. The option is there. Ya know? Now that you’re all healed up and better, you can do anything.”

I smiled politely, not sure how much longer I would be able to play along with the cancer patient lie.

It felt wrong to let him believe that, but I didn't know how to tell him the truth.

He led me through the rest of the basement, taking me to four more bedrooms, each with a small ensuite, and a huge laundry room with three washers and three dryers, all top quality.

The room was bright with stairs leading out back to the yard.

Even the boiler and furnace room were clean and updated.

I’d never seen anything like it.

“So?” he turned and asked me when we got back to the stairs.

“I am speechless.”

His eyes dazzled me as he smiled wide, the smile I looked forward to. “Then I did my job right.”

“You outdid anything I ever expected. By so much that I can’t express to you how pleased I am.”

“So what you’re struggling to say, in British, is that you’re overjoyed.”

“Overjoyed,” I agreed.

He stepped closer, coming into that bubble I considered too close for friends. “This has been my favorite job yet. I’m sad to see it end.” He offered me his rough hand.

I slipped mine into his and smiled. “Me too. You will still come to visit, won’t you?”

“I’d love to come to dinner and see that kitchen in action.” He winked and I sighed.

“Does it have to be me in action?” I chuckled, biting my lip and staring at his.

“Yeah. I mean it. I expect you to learn to cook. You can’t have a kitchen like that one and not cook in it. You need to create in there.”

“Even if it’s entirely inedible?”

“Yes. I grew up on a farm, I’ll eat just about anything.”

“Good to know.” I tried not to gush but he was making me gushy.

I walked him to the front door, leaning against the frame as he put his work boots back on. His men had loaded the trucks and driven off, leaving Mike behind with only his truck in my driveway. I was so used to seeing his trucks that as he took a step back from me, I realized I was going to miss them. I was going to miss him.

It wasn't just the house being new or the fact I was no longer a shell of a human being that made me not want to go back into my story. It was him.

For him I showered and shaved and cleaned and changed. For him I put on makeup and clean clothes. In the beginning, it was just the essentials that I had stopped doing before. Over the months we worked together it became weights and exercise and trying to look like the girl I once was, maybe even more than her. And it was all for him.

But like Anne, someone I had judged so harshly, I remained silent, swallowing the feelings now choking me as he smiled wide and took another step back.

His mouth moved and I knew it was just formalities, polite words spoken when one was leaving another person’s house and employment.

I wanted so badly to tell him to stop. I wanted him to walk closer and not farther away. I wanted to reach up and see if his face was as rough as his hands and if his lips felt the way I imagined them. I wanted to tell him that he had awakened me, like the evil queen disguised as Sleeping Beauty. Tears lodged in my throat as I nodded and smiled politely.

“Promise me you’ll learn to cook just one meal. One fantastic meal in that kitchen.”

“Of course. And then you’ll be by for dinner?” I asked, struggling to speak and breathe under these conditions.

“It’s a date.” He offered his hand. “And if you wanna learn to drive, I can teach you. I can even take you car shopping and make sure you get something safe.”

I placed my hand in his and prayed it wouldn't be the last time. “It’s a date then.”

He held my hand, not shaking, just holding. I think I trembled but maybe it was him.