Lost and Found (Twist of Fate #1)(33)

I sighed. “I know.”

I saw Bennett wipe at his eyes, but before I could say anything, he bumped my shoulder with his and said, “So tell me more about this not liking Aiden touching me thing.”

I knew it was his attempt to both change the subject and lighten the mood, so I shook my head and laughed. “Pass.”

But Bennett was Bennett, and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. And for some reason I didn’t want to examine too closely, I was okay with that.





Chapter 16





Bennett





Xander Reed is jealous. Xander Reed is jealous of another man touching me.

It was too good to be true, so I knew it had to be complete bullshit. But I was sure as hell going to tease him for it anyway.

“You like me,” I said in a slow singsong voice.

“Shut up. Never mind,” he muttered, and then took my stick and did what I’d done— started drawing shapes in the dirt with the tip of it and pretended like I’d ceased to exist.

“You really, really like me,” I persisted.

“Goddammit, I take it back. Let the fucker touch you all he wants. I don’t care,” Xander growled, but there was no real anger in his voice.

I couldn’t resist leaning over until my lips were almost against Xander’s ear. “Liar,” I purred. He was sitting close enough that I could feel his shudder. He glanced at me and then his gaze fell to my mouth, and I was instantly transported back to earlier in the night when he’d kissed me.

Right before he’d fucked me up against that tree.

Even the memory of his cock pushing deep inside of me had me growing hard and I had to tear my eyes from his. I searched out another stick and began to roll it back and forth between my fingers.

To say the sex had been incredible was the understatement of the decade. What Xander had done to me didn’t even qualify as sex. I’d been with a decent number of guys after I’d lost my virginity to Aiden at the age of nineteen. But not once had I felt so… needed. Not just wanted… needed. Aiden had been a great lover, but there’d always been this sense that he was holding a part of himself back from me. Even after dating for months, he’d kept a piece of himself separate from me, both in and out of bed. But with Xander, it had just seemed like so much… more. Like nothing else had existed in that moment for him but me. That if he could have chosen anywhere to be in that instant, and anyone to be with, he still would have picked me.

I knew I was reading too much into it. He’d said as much after he’d pulled out of me. I’d known it just from the sad way he’d said my name. So, I’d beaten him to the punch and told him it was a mistake.

Even though I didn’t think it was, nor did I regret it. And given the chance to have him again like that, I’d take it. Every single time.

But not at the expense of the kids. Aiden had been right. I’d lost focus about why we were here. And I needed to remember that this thing with Xander would come to an end in a matter of days, but the kids… they were forever. Just like with Colin, I wanted to be a part of as many of these kids’ lives as I could. As much as I wanted something with Xander, he wasn’t my future. He’d made that perfectly clear.

“I think we need to figure out how to make this work for the kids, Bennett,” Xander said.

I let my stick play with some of the shapes Xander had drawn with his stick. “I agree. What do you think? Truce?”

Xander was quiet and I smiled when I realized what kind of pattern he was drawing in the dirt. “Yeah. Truce,” he said.

I watched him draw an X in the middle square of the Tic Tac Toe board he’d drawn.

“Why are you always X’s?” I asked.

He looked at me flatly. “Uh, Xander. X. Duh.”

I chuckled and felt my body tighten up when I spied what I’d been working my ass off to see this whole fucking trip.

The smile.

The quiet, soft Xander smile that was mine. It was folly to think it was my smile… that he did it just for me, but I chose to believe it anyway.

“You’re so predictable,” I groused. “You always pick the middle square.”

We’d played the game often enough when we were kids that it was burned into my memory.

“Shut up and play,” he said.

I picked a square and drew a circle.

“Nice circle,” he said snidely. “No wonder you almost failed geometry.”

“Shut it,” I returned and watched him take his turn. “Can I ask you something?”

He nodded.

“Where did you and Aunt Lolly go?” I asked softly. “I mean… after… you know.”

There was just the slightest tensing of his body. I wasn’t certain he was going to answer at first. But he kept playing the Tic Tac Toe game so I figured I hadn’t pissed him off with the question.

“All over at first. West coast mostly. She had some friends living in a commune in Oregon.”

“A commune?”

“Yeah, all these people got together and bought some land and put a bunch of trailers and small houses on it. They shared all the responsibilities, worked the land together, ate what they grew and sold the rest at farmer’s markets and stuff.”

“What was it like?”