Lost Along the Way(89)
She entered through the front door and scanned the foyer for any sign of him. There wasn’t any, but that wasn’t surprising. Reed wasn’t the type of guy who came home from work and slung his jacket over the banister or left his briefcase in the hall. He was meticulous, immediately putting everything away in its proper closet or drawer, and he demanded the same of her. For the first time, she was struck by how cold and sterile her house was. Meg’s home in Montauk was smaller than Cara’s house, but it was inviting. It was cozy, it was welcoming, and it was filled with loving memories and the smells of freshly baked muffins. Cara’s own house looked like a museum. There was no love here. She dropped her bag on the floor and walked into the living room, where she found Reed sitting on the cream-colored sofa, waiting for her.
“Hello, Cara,” he said. “I honestly don’t even know where to start. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Cara reminded herself to stay calm. If she lost her cool, there’d be no reasoning with him, and she needed to make him feel as if he’d won. “I’m sorry. I needed to get away. I’m having a hard time dealing with my mother’s death and I needed a time-out.”
“A ‘time-out’? From what? Did leaving home for almost a week bring your mother back to life?”
“That’s not funny.” Hearing the callousness with which Reed referred to her mother made the lump return to her throat. How someone could feel no empathy, or sympathy, or sorrow in a situation like this was beyond her. Cara had never really understood the ways in which her husband’s emotional circuit board was wired, but she no longer cared.
“Are you honestly going to make me ask where you went?” he asked.
“I went to my aunt’s house in the Poconos,” Cara lied. She held her breath, knowing full well that her story wouldn’t be an easy thing for him to believe. She hadn’t been up to her aunt’s cabin in years, but still, if she wanted time alone, there’d be no place better for her to go.
“I didn’t think you liked the cabin. You always said it smelled like skunk.”
“I don’t like it, but it was the only place I could go to be alone. I made do.”
“And totally forgot about your obligations here? Were you going to be back for the party if I hadn’t texted you? How would I have explained your absence? If you have no problem embarrassing yourself in front of the entire town, that’s one thing, but you don’t have to embarrass me. You know how important this is to me, and that I need Neal’s approval if I want to get into the club down south. Do you care at all about what’s important to me?”
“Of course I do,” she lied again, so mind-numbingly tired of pretending to be sorry. “I just needed some time to think, that’s all. I’m back in time for the party. No one needs to know I was gone.”
“And the letter? Did writing that help you to think?”
“I was angry. I said . . . wrote, actually, some things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
She choked out her apology. Jane may have dictated the words, but penning that letter was still the first really honest thing she’d done in years. No one would argue that there wasn’t a better way to handle this entire situation, but it was too late for what-ifs now. The end result was the only thing that mattered.
“Sorry isn’t sufficient. Is that how you’re going to handle problems in life? Run from them?”
“No. I can honestly say that I agree with you. Hiding in the woods alone is a really stupid idea.” Hiding in the Hamptons with old friends, however, is not.
“I mean it, Cara. I won’t allow this kind of behavior in my home, and I don’t know how, but I’m sure that Jane had something to do with you thinking it was okay to run out of here like that. It’s not a coincidence that she shows up and you start acting completely crazy. It’s one of the reasons why I told you she wasn’t welcome here. She’s not good for you. Do you want people in town, or at the club, using our name in the same sentence as hers? Do you know what that would do to our reputation?”
“I know that would ruin you and everything you’ve worked for. I know your reputation is the foundation of your business and every social connection you have. I shouldn’t take them lightly. It won’t happen again,” Cara said. That much was true.
“Can I expect you to get your head on straight and be a good wife at the party on Friday? Can you do that for me?”
“Yes. Everything will be fine. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I don’t want to see Jane ever again. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I promise you’ll never see her again.”
But that doesn’t mean she won’t see you . . .
There was smug satisfaction in avoiding a lie by actually telling the truth. Cara was tired of doing this little dance, the one where she pretended to be the one in the wrong and let Reed chastise her like she was his daughter instead of his wife. She didn’t know how much longer she could trust herself to hold it together before she just blew a fuse and went completely ballistic on him.
“Do you want some tea?” she asked. Reed was habitual to a fault, and he always had a cup of green tea in the afternoon because he stupidly believed the antioxidants would help him stay young. Still, if he said no, she didn’t have a plan B. Everything hinged on it.