Lost Along the Way(44)

“No, I guess we don’t,” Meg answered. “But I think it’s time that changed.”





sixteen


Jane purchased wine at the liquor store across the street and climbed into the front seat of Cara’s car. They made an illegal U-turn on Montauk Highway—something you could do only in the fall when the traffic was nonexistent—and followed Meg back to her house. Jane didn’t even bother to turn on the radio to kill the awkward silence. If they were all going to shack up together for the night, then she was going to have to get comfortable with awkward moments, and quick.

“Why’d you guys come and get me?” Cara finally asked. Jane was staring out the window, catching brief glimpses of the ocean on the other side of the bluffs. In the summer, the foliage made it impossible to see the water from the highway, but with the bare trees you could see the dunes and the white-capped swells of the Atlantic. Jane had figured it would take Cara about five minutes before she probed into how she’d gotten Meg to agree to look for her. Jane glanced at the clock on the dash and discovered it had taken about seven. Not bad, she figured. She was a little rusty, but she could still predict Cara’s behavior with uncanny accuracy.

“I couldn’t let you go back to him. I assume that was where you were headed?”

“Since it’s my home, yeah. To be honest, I thought about taking your keys and crashing at your apartment in the city, but if some random picture of me ended up in the paper, Reed would go berserk. Going home and dealing with it seemed like the better option.”

“Both of those options blow.”

“Don’t sugarcoat it, Jane, really. Just tell me what you honestly think.”

“Well, they do. This might only be a short-term fix for right now, but it’s a fix and that’s all I care about.”

“And Meg? Is she going to make me sleep in a tent in the backyard?”

“No. She wants to help you, too. She was surprised when I told her what was going on with you and Reed,” Jane said.

“I wish you hadn’t done that,” Cara said. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. “She won’t understand. She never understood me.”

“Well, I had to if I was going to stop you from going back there. And you’re wrong about her. She understood. You two may have your problems, but she’d have to be a pretty evil bitch to think that you deserve to have your husband shred you on a daily basis. There might be a lot of anger there, but there’s a lot of love, too. Don’t forget that.”

“I haven’t forgotten. That’s part of the problem. If I didn’t love her it wouldn’t hurt so bad. They say that best friends make the worst enemies. It’s true.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going to say to me? This enemy right here let you pour scalding-hot tea on her and is now riding shotgun in your car. You’ve got a screwed-up definition of enemies if that’s what you think we are.”

“This is only for tonight. I just need a place to stay for one night while I figure things out. I typically would’ve gone to my mom’s . . .” Cara’s eyes welled again and she exhaled loudly. “I don’t know how to go on from here.”

Jane reached over and rubbed her arm. “I know. But he would’ve gone to look for you there. He will never in a million years think you’re out here with us.”

“With you in the picture, he won’t know what to think. He never liked you, you know.”

“I know. I don’t care. Never did. And he knows it.”

“What do you care about?” Cara asked.

“You. Meg. Getting the paparazzi off the sidewalk outside my apartment building. Other than that, nothing. I’m a very simple girl these days.”

“Simple? Somehow I doubt that. One thing you’ve never been is simple. Need I remind you of the freshman-year dance? Oh wait, I can’t, because we weren’t allowed to go!”

Jane felt a smile creep across her face.

March 1991

“Bye, Mom! I’m heading to Cara’s, but don’t wait up. I might be late. The test is going to be brutal!” Jane said to her mom as she headed toward the front door with her backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Okay. Don’t study too hard,” Jane’s mom said as she finished giving Gavin a bath. “Call if you need anything!”

“I will, Mom. See you later,” Jane answered. She hopped down the stairs and crept into the backyard. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure her mother wasn’t looking out the window—when she was sure she wasn’t, she hissed as quietly as she possibly could, “Are you there?”

“Over here,” Cara answered, popping her head out from behind a tree a few yards away. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asked as she and Jane changed into baggy jeans and midriff tops in Jane’s backyard.

“Are you serious? It’s a great idea. It’s foolproof. There’s no way we’re going to get caught. It’s going to be so fun! I can’t believe we’re going to see Janet Jackson! What did you tell your mom?”

“That I was studying at your house. What if our moms talk to each other?”

“Why would they talk to each other? There’s no reason for that to happen! Relax. Everything is going to be fine. We’re going to have the best time. You’re beginning to sound like Meg.”