Lost Along the Way(4)



“Thank you so much for organizing lunch, Jane,” Christie said, albeit insincerely. “You’re a wonderful addition to our little team this year. Let’s chat next week.” She removed her black quilted Chanel bag from the back of her chair and tied a bright-pink scarf snugly around her neck. “We’re going to Saint Barts after Christmas and it can’t come soon enough. This cold weather is driving me crazy.”

“It was really wonderful to see you all,” Jane added as she stood and waved good-bye. She checked her watch quickly and was surprised that the meeting had gone on so long. She still had a ton of things she needed to do before Doug got home from work, and while she didn’t want to appear rude, it was really time for her to leave.

“You too, dear,” Mindy said as she puckered her plum-colored lips and kissed the air on the side of Jane’s cheek. “Let’s talk next week about the catering. Everyone is so over miniature crab cakes.”

“I totally agree,” Heather added, still seated with her back to the windows while she used a compact to touch up her blush. Heather reminded Jane so much of Cruella de Vil that she often found it hard to look at her. Over the years, Heather’s hair got blonder and blonder, her lipstick got darker and darker, and the skin on her face got tighter and tighter. Add to that the fact that the leopard coat she was fond of wearing was eerily reminiscent of Dalmatian and the resemblance was striking. All she needed was a pair of red gloves and a pack-a-day habit and children would probably run screaming when they saw her in the street. “If I see another one, I will lose my mind. Let’s try to come up with something a little more exciting, shall we?”

“No problem,” Jane said. “I’ll call you next week.” She pulled the belt on her cashmere coat tight around her waist and stepped outside onto the snow-covered sidewalk. It was cold and she was thankful that she’d planned ahead and called a car service to pick her up. She pushed through the crowd to her waiting town car and flung herself into the backseat. Christmas was barely two weeks away, which made walking in Midtown a contact sport. The hordes of tourists flocking to Fifth Avenue to see the store windows and the giant tree were intolerable, as far as she was concerned. All she wanted to do was go home to her warm apartment and finish writing out her Christmas cards.

As she rode home her mind wandered again to an upcoming date on the calendar, though for the life of her she couldn’t understand why. Cara’s birthday was next month, and Jane had come across a bright-blue ski jacket in a catalog that would look amazing on her. She’d spent the last two weeks debating whether she should send it to her, but she still couldn’t decide. It’s not like grown women need to celebrate turning thirty-seven, and Cara was never one to like attention anyway. Still, she’d no doubt be spending weekends this winter skiing at Reed’s family house in Vermont, and Jane was pretty sure she’d love the coat. Then again, what did she know anymore? I can’t believe you are spending this much time thinking about her birthday, she thought to herself. You’d have to be crazy to reopen those wounds. She decided that holiday nostalgia was a dangerous thing and vowed to throw the catalog away as soon as she got home. She’d moved on with her life, and there was absolutely no reason to revisit those ghosts.

It took her driver twenty-five minutes to cross over to the West Side thanks to the unforgivable traffic, and it was almost three o’clock when Jane turned the key in the lock and stepped inside her apartment, the smell of the balsam fir they’d bought and decorated a few days ago strong enough to be detected from the foyer. She inhaled deeply. There’s nothing better than that, she thought as she pulled off her suede boots and made her way into the den off the kitchen. She had a busy afternoon ahead of her, what with the stack of cards to address and stamp, not to mention the now crucial mission of finding exciting hors d’oeuvres to replace crab cakes. She was definitely going to need that massage.

She headed for the stack of catalogs sitting on her velvet sofa so she could rid herself of the nagging ski jacket conundrum once and for all, but was sidetracked when she unexpectedly caught sight of Doug out of the corner of her eye.

“Jeez, you scared me!” Jane said when she looked up and found him pacing the floor in front of the Christmas tree. Pine needles had already fallen off the lower branches and lay haphazardly on the carpet. “This is a nice surprise,” she said as she walked over to give him a hug. They’d been married seven and a half years, but somehow Doug still managed to impress her. Some guys have the ability to fill up an entire room just by walking into it. Doug was one of those guys. She’d never stop thinking that she was the luckiest person in the world to be married to him. She inhaled the smell of his shampoo and aftershave as she clasped his hands and pulled back to look at him. “What brings you home in the middle of the day?” She felt her heart pause for a minute when she released him from her grasp and noticed the expression on his face.

“Sit down,” he said quietly. Jane finally noticed that his hands were trembling slightly, and that they weren’t just cool—they were clammy. Dusk was already setting over the city, and a soft gray light now filtered in through the west-facing windows of their apartment. A lamp on a timer in the corner clicked on, a small sound that seemed to echo forever. Everything else was so still.

“What’s the matter?” Jane asked, prepared to hear that one of her parents had died, or that he had lost his job. She was not prepared for the bomb he was about to drop on her life.

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