Lost Along the Way(16)
seven
Jane glanced around the immaculate grounds of her friend’s suburban home. The bays and harbors of the North Shore of Long Island were packed with boats and yachts, old money families mingling with financiers and lawyers who looked after the old money and became rich from it themselves. Cara’s house was exactly as Jane remembered it from years ago—a large brick colonial that was both classic and comfortable-looking. White shutters encased large windows across the entire fa?ade in perfect symmetry on either side of the red front door. Hedges ran along the perimeter of the property to separate the house from the neighbors, something that Jane had a hard time understanding. No matter how large a Manhattan apartment is, you’re still sharing walls with your neighbors. So hedges for a property that was already acres wide seemed redundant. Jane paused at the bottom of the walkway that led from the sidewalk to the front door as she watched the cab pull away and head back to the concrete jungle that was intent on eating her alive. She felt herself struggle to take her first step, knowing she wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms, and worse, knowing that she didn’t deserve to be. She listened to the birds in the trees and watched the kids down the block riding their bicycles in wobbly circles in the road, and didn’t miss the irony that Cara was living the exact life Jane had spent the last twenty years trying to avoid. She had barely pressed the doorbell before the door opened and Cara stood in front of her, slack jawed and bewildered.
“Hey,” Jane said with a weak wave. It had been years. She had no idea where to start, but hello seemed as good a place as any.
“‘Hey’?” Cara repeated, staring at her like she was an alien and not someone who used to borrow her bathing suits. “That’s what you have to say to me?” She peered at Jane again, and Jane knew immediately what she was thinking. Cara had been one of the prettiest girls in school (though she either truly didn’t know it or truly didn’t care), with hazel eyes that flecked gold or green or auburn depending on what color shirt she wore, bouncy hair that didn’t require a straightening iron, and skin that never needed makeup. She was the quintessential all-American, natural girl who never needed any help enhancing what she was born with, whereas Jane now had so many fillers in her face she basically looked like a wax figure. She was sure Cara was horrified by the implants and wondered how long it would take her to ask about them. In fact, she was surprised it had already taken this long.
“I always found it to be a good ice breaker,” Jane joked. There had been a time when Cara had loved Jane’s ability to laugh at any situation. She realized that that was probably no longer the case, but falling back into her old role made her feel less uncomfortable about seeking refuge in a friend she hadn’t seen in years.
“What are you doing here? You haven’t been here since before you eloped. Eight years ago.”
“I know. It hasn’t changed a bit. Neither have you,” Jane said. She meant it, but she was afraid she came off as insincere.
“I wish I could say the same,” Cara answered. She stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her. Jane didn’t expect to be welcomed with a bottle of champagne, but the icy insult caught her off guard.
“How have you been?” Jane asked. She couldn’t believe how nervous she felt—how this woman had become a stranger. For a second she wondered if maybe she was wrong to assume that her old friend would want to help. Maybe too much had happened between them. Jane’s heart ached as she tried to prepare herself for the possibility that Cara, like everyone else in her life, might turn her back on her.
“Spare me the pleasantries, Jane. Why are you here? What, did your elitist friends in the city ditch you when they discovered that your husband is a white-collar criminal?”
“Basically.” It seemed silly to lie, especially since she’d just paid seventy dollars she didn’t have on cab fare to get here. Still, it wasn’t easy to announce how pathetic she’d become, especially not to Cara. The last thing Jane needed was to give Cara yet another reason to say her four favorite words: I told you so.
“Gee, couldn’t have seen that one coming.”
“You don’t have to look like you’re enjoying watching my life implode on the news, Cara. I’ve paid plenty for my husband’s sins. I don’t have any money. I don’t have any friends. And I’m about to be evicted from my apartment. I’ve begged the feds to give me access to something so that I can get out of there and start over, but they weren’t interested in helping me. I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do.” Jane choked on her words. Asking for help wasn’t easy, and having her oldest friend look at her like she didn’t recognize her wasn’t making anything easier. If someone had told her this would happen to their relationship, she never would’ve believed it. Not ever. Not for anything.
“You asked the feds for a favor and were denied? I wish I could’ve seen the temper tantrum you threw when you heard the word ‘no.’ You always had a way of throwing your toys out of the pram in spectacular fashion when you didn’t get your way.”
Jane was trying to remain calm and keep her temper in check. It wasn’t unreasonable for Cara to be angry with her for showing up at her house, but she had underestimated just how angry she’d be. It was becoming very clear that this visit was just the latest in a very long list of bad decisions Jane had made lately.