Long Ball(32)

Doug makes sure he sits between me and everyone else in the dugout. He doesn’t let anyone come near me if he can help it, and I’m grateful. I’ve never been so angry before in my life. I don’t need to lose my job on top of the rest of my life.

But you know the crazy thing? I would give this all up in a heartbeat if it meant getting Megan and Cora back. I’d hang up my jersey for good if it meant we could be a family. I’ve got enough money in savings that we could live comfortably for a long time. I could sell my condo, buy us a nice house in the suburbs so Cora could go to a good school. Maybe I’d take up coaching, just like Kemp. We could be the Bonilla family, happily, forever.

But I can’t beat the shit out of Octivio if I want that. He has no idea how lucky of a bastard he is right now.

I went from King of the World to pauper in just a few weeks. Lost my best friend, forced night off, losing the family I’ve always dreamt of, the family I inadvertently created on a dusty star-filled evening in Omaha. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe this is payback for every girl I’ve f*cked and never called, every late night club bathroom tryst.

I should have never touched Shelbie Saint. I should have pushed Kemp off on her the second I realized Shelbie had the personality of a toothbrush. This is what I get for chasing tits.

All those days I tried to clean up my act were in vain, because I’m still here, lonely on a bench. Coach is pissed, Megan is pissed, Octivio is running his mouth. I haven’t had a fight in years, but I can feel it coming on. I bet he did this on purpose: sent Shelbie to go with me so they could sabotage my chances with Megan.

There’s no way he should have known about her, but someone found out. Someone figured out I was seeing someone and tried to ruin it. Hell, they practically have. Megan hasn’t answered any of my texts or phone calls since that night. Every time I’ve driven to her house, the door doesn’t open.

Once, I caught sight of little Cora through the fluttering curtains, but Megan hauled her away while shooting me a nasty look. I’ve sent flowers. They were returned. Who returns flowers?

Apparently, someone who is seriously, seriously pissed.

If I could go back in time and erase that entire evening, I would. In a heartbeat. I’d tell Shelbie to f*ck off. I’d call Megan and beg her to come to the gala with me. I’d even score an extra ticket for Cora if she wanted. I’d proudly show the world who belonged on my arm, not some hussy who reads off lottery numbers on the evening news.

“Hey!” I hear a voice hiss. I look to my right and see Veronica Diaz, our sideline reporter. “Can you not look like you’re about to murder all of Kansas City?”

“What?” I don’t think I heard her as Carlos rips a long ball into right field.

“You look like you’re going to murder everyone in their sleep.” Veronica covers her mouthpiece on her mic and frowns at me. “It’s bad for business, dude. You guys are winning. Look happy.”

She looks over me and I follow her gaze to Coach Halstead. He looks at me, and it isn’t a happy kind of thing. “You’re always being watched.” She disappears back into the press box.

“Don’t I f*cking know it.” I mutter to myself. But, I force myself up and high-five Carlos for his home run. Octivio tosses sunflower seeds in his face, some weird tradition he picked up when we were playing in Houston. A few land on my shoes and the urge to pummel the shit out of him arises again.

Coach walks over and slaps me on the back. It looks friendly, but I know exactly what that means. It means to get over whatever is bothering me and put the game face on. I don’t need to be back in the news again, anyway. The last time I was, it ruined everything. So, I spend the rest of the game telling terrible jokes to Doug and whoever else sits near me whose name is not f*cking Octivio.

I’m doing this for Megan and Cora. For my family. Call it my first test of devotion: how far will I go to prove I’m exactly what they need?

It’s a long, long game. It ends in a win, though. Coach shoots me a look as we clear off the field. He taps his nose and walks away.

“What’s that about?” Everett asks.

“Nothing.”

I’ve got to get my shit together. I can’t lose my job, because it will support my family. Unless Megan wants me to quit, then I’ll find something else to support us. But no one else will be Cora’s dad. No one else will be Megan’s husband, lover, and confidant. No one else will ever get to have my family.

They are my girls, forever. I’ve spent nine innings mulling over how to fix things. I even kind of opened up to Doug a little. Just a little, enough to talk about how to fix a f*ck-up. He’s been married forever, so I figure he knows a thing or two about how to do it, right?

I think I’ve found a way to prove it. How to win my family back.

On the way home, I call Kate. It takes some convincing, she’s mad as hell at me. She gives me an earful about my behavior, but she at least lets me explain. I tell her all about Shelbie the Demon, and Octivio, and how my life is nothing without my girls. I tell her my plan.

She sighs heavily. I can practically hear her thinking over the phone.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Never more serious in my entire life, Kate.”

“Because, god help me, I will kill you.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”