Long Ball(30)

Shelbie’s mask is firmly planted as we smile for the cameras. I put my arm around her waist and she pecks me on the cheek, much to the delight of everyone around us. I play it up so she doesn’t look like trash in front of everyone, but inside I’m a knotted ball of anger.

Megan is eight hundred times the woman Shelbie is. And all I can think is how I should have brought her instead. I’m an idiot.

We avoid each other the rest of the event, once inside. I hide with the coaches and Doug and their wives. Whenever someone asks about my date, I always say she’s in the ladies’ room. Even though everyone can plainly see Octivio’s hand permanently against her ass as they dance.

It’s a terrible night and getting home is never sweeter. I collapse on my couch, texting Megan about how much I miss her, and turn on the television. The local news is playing clips of the event, with me and Shelbie front and center. They even got the kiss on the cheek. Great. I’m never going to hear the end of this shit from everyone. Shelbie certainly looks triumphant as hell, too. She got exactly what she wanted—attention.

Fuck Kemp for introducing us. My life would be so much easier without her in it. Then again, without me trying to impress her, I never would have been on the bus the day I met Cora and saw Megan for the first time in years.

I guess it’s not all bad. I just wish it was more friends than, “Hey, you’re the chick I banged in a shitty club bathroom”.

I hit the kitchen for a few beers and a bag of peanuts. What I really want is to be doing this at Megan’s. I left the event early and could have surprised her easily, but I…

I guess I didn’t want the stink of Shelbie to follow me. Already, I feel like an ass about the whole thing, particularly given how she went ape shit in the car, and I don’t want to see Megan again with that kind of shit on my conscience. I want things to be pure and perfect and not tainted by that raging jerk.

Back on the couch, I grab my phone to finish the elaborate text I’m writing to Megan about how much I miss her, and how wonderful I think she is. I’m definitely going to win serious boyfriend points with this. I’ve never been so honest with a girl, either, about how I’m feeling. It’s kind of weird, but also a little cathartic, and I can’t stop smiling as I type my lame emotions. I even throw in a few emojis for fun, and I hate those damn things.

She’s changing me, man. One day at a time.

Except my phone has three missed calls and about seven texts. All from Megan. I swallow down the looming dread. “She just misses me a lot,” I tell the empty room. But I’m bracing for impact and I don’t know why.

I do know why. But I hope I’m wrong.

I skip the messages because I don’t want to get myself too worked up and call Megan. She answers on the second ring, sounding every bit like she hates me.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” I fake a happy brightness. “Sorry I missed you. I was grabbing a beer.”

“Home already?” Her voice is stiff. “I thought you wouldn’t be back for hours.”

“Yeah, but we just got home and I’m wiped. I shook hands, played nice, and got out of there. I wanted to swing by your place, let you see me all dressed up, but I didn’t think you’d be— “

“I saw you.”

My stomach drops. “You saw me?”

“On the news. I saw you on the news.”

Keep on fakin’ it, man. “Did you like the suit?”

She’s quiet for a minute, and I find myself genuinely terrified. “What’s her name?”

“Who?”

“I’m not an idiot, Jamie.” Her voice is clear, strong, angry. She sounds like maybe she’d been crying, but the anger is the clearest. “How could you do this to me? To us? You think I wouldn’t find out about this?”

“Look, it’s really not a big deal— “

“Don’t be a condescending *, Jamie.” She spits. “How could you be dating me and this other woman at the same time? Sure, she’s prettier than me, and a local celebrity. I get it, she’s everything you should have, but you were supposed to have chosen me. Chosen us. Remember?”

“I’m not— “

“I saw her kiss you! It’s all over the news! God, you’re a cheating * just like my ex, just like every other piece of shit who has walked into my life. I can’t believe I trusted you, can’t believe I listened to your stupid lies about loving us and wanting to be with us— “

“I never lied! This isn’t what— “

“You’ve just proven I can’t trust anyone. And you know what? You don’t deserve us. You don’t deserve me and you sure as hell don’t deserve Cora. That precious, beautiful little girl thinks the world of you and your sorry ass doesn’t deserve any of her affections.”

“Listen, Megan, I think— “

“Shut up!” She yells. “I saw it with my own eyes. Saw the way you looked at her, how you had her arm around her. Plenty of other guys brought their family members or friends and didn’t look as cozy as you did with her. Just because you’re rich and famous doesn’t mean you get to play around with other people’s hearts and lives, Jamie Bonilla.”

“I never— “

“I respect myself too much. I’m not going to continue letting up dupe me into thinking you actually give a shit about us. We aren’t your readymade family. We aren’t here to make you feel good while you go f*ck around elsewhere. I’m clearly not your type. I look nothing like that woman. I can see what you really want after all.”