Lincoln in the Bardo(16)
When finished speaking, he would resume his former proportions, becoming again a man of average size, beautifully dressed, but with terrible teeth.
the reverend everly thomas
Young sir, if we may approach? The little lady and me?
eddie baron
Ah, no. No, no. I’m afraid that will not be possible at this— the reverend everly thomas
F—– that!
betsy baron
Everyone gets a turn! You said!
eddie baron
We was low and fell lower. That’s the main thing we want to— betsy baron
We didn’t even bother bringing our nice s—– into that s—–hole by the river. After the Swede kicked us out of the place on G.
eddie baron
We couldn’t even fit that f—–er, that beautiful couch, through the s—–y little door of that s—–hole by the river.
betsy baron
I do not even consider that s—–y little door of that s—–hole by the river a door, when I think of that f—–ing door we had on G. What a door! The door on that s—–hole by the river would have been ashamed to call itself a door if it ever saw that f—–ing magnificent door on G.
Still, we had our fun.
eddie baron
By the river.
betsy baron
Everybody soused and throwing each other into the f—–ing drink? With lit stogies and all? And Cziesniewski kept trying to pronounce “Potomac”?
eddie baron
Everybody heaving stones at them washerladies?
betsy baron
Remember when what’s-his-name Tentini almost drowned? Then, when Colonel B. revived him, first thing Tentini did was ask for his f—–ing mug of punch?
eddie baron
Perhaps that is enough, the Reverend said coldly.
roger bevins iii
Remember that time we left little Eddie at the Parade Ground?
betsy baron
After the Polk whatdoyoucallit.
eddie baron
We’d had a few.
betsy baron
Didn’t hurt him.
eddie baron
Might’ve helped him.
betsy baron
Made him tougher.
eddie baron
If a horse steps on you, you do not die.
betsy baron
You might limp a bit.
eddie baron
And after that be scared of horses.
betsy baron
And dogs.
eddie baron
But wandering around in a crowd for five hours? Does not kill you.
betsy baron
What I think? It helps you. Because then you know how to wander around in a crowd for five hours without crying or panicking.
eddie baron
Well, he cried and panicked a little. Once he got home.
betsy baron
Ah, sweet C—–, you protect the G——ed little f—–ers from everything, next thing they’re calling you to the privy to wipe their a—–holes.
One thing I’ll say for Eddie Jr. and Mary Mag? They always wiped their own a—–holes.
eddie baron
And we didn’t have no privy.
betsy baron
Just s—– wherever.
eddie baron
Why don’t they ever come see us? That’s what I want to know. How long we been here? A pretty f—–ing long time. And they never once— betsy baron
F—– them! Those f—–ing ingrate snakes have no G——ed right to blame us for a f—–ing thing until they walk a f—–ing mile in our G——ed shoes and neither f—–ing one of the little s—–heads has walked even a s—–ing half-mile in our f—–ing shoes.
eddie baron
Enough, said the Reverend.
hans vollman
These were the Barons.
roger bevins iii
Drunk and insensate, lying in the road, run over by the same carriage, they had been left to recover from their injuries in an unmarked disreputable common sick-pit just beyond the dreaded iron fence, the only white people therein, thrown in with several members of the dark race, not one among them, pale or dark, with a sick-box in which to properly recover.
hans vollman
It was not quite comme il faut that the Barons should presume to speak to the boy.
the reverend everly thomas
Or be on this side of the fence.
hans vollman
It is not about wealth.
the reverend everly thomas
I was not wealthy.
hans vollman
It is about comportment. It is about, let us say, being “wealthy in spirit.”
the reverend everly thomas
The Barons, however, came and went as they pleased. The fence not being an impediment to them.
hans vollman
As in that previous place, they remained unconstrained.
the reverend everly thomas
Ha.
roger bevins iii
Ha ha.
hans vollman
The Barons were followed in rapid succession by Mr. Bunting (“I certainly have nothing of which to be ashamed”), Mr. Ellenby (“I came to this here town with seven dolers stitched in of my panse and do not intend to go any damn plase until someone tell me where in Hel is my dolers”), and Mrs. Proper Fessbitt (“I request one last Hour during which the terrible pain be not Upon me, so that I may bid Farewell to my Dear Ones in a more Genial spirit”), who inched up to the doorway frozen in the same crabbed, fetal posture in which she had spent her last bedridden year in that previous place.