Lily and the Duke (Sex and the Season #1)(85)

By the time he left, the sun was edging over the horizon, signifying the dawn of a bright new day. Daniel fed Lily small pieces of dry toast and fruit and helped her sip some tea.

“I want you to rest now,” he said, when she had finished most of the food on her tray.

“I can’t. I want to stay with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t want to go back to sleep yet.”

Daniel smiled and brushed his lips over hers. “All right. I want to talk to you anyway.”

“What about?”

“Lots of things. Are you up to it?”

“I suppose so. Is anything wrong?”

“No, love, everything is right, now that you’re back.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

He took both of her hands in his and kissed them. “I love you, Lily. I should have told you a thousand times before now. I love you.”

A glowing warmth spread through her upon hearing those cherished words. “Oh, Daniel…”

“Shh. I’m not finished yet.”

She needed to hear nothing more, but clearly he needed to speak. “All right.”

“I’m so sorry for going behind your back to arrange our marriage with your father. I was desperate. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, of another man touching you. Knowing how you felt about marriage, I thought it was my only chance to keep you. I wanted to ask you, to talk to you about it, to try to convince you to stay with me, but in the back of my mind I was afraid you might refuse me. Going to your father seemed like the only option. I was selfish.”

She swallowed a lump in her parched throat and squeezed his arm.

“And what I did to you before that—not taking precautions when I promised you that I would—it was unforgivable.”

“I forgive you.” And she did. She would forgive him anything.

“Thank you.” He shook his head, his eyes sunken and sad. “I don’t deserve it.”

“I’ll decide what you deserve.”

“Please believe me. I honestly did forget. My desire for you was so great that I didn’t think, and I should have. Again, I was selfish. I’ve spent so many years being selfish, I just… There’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” She longed to stroke his flesh, to give him comfort, but she didn’t have the strength to move.

“Please.” He quieted her. “Let me finish. You changed everything for me. I felt joy with you like I had never known. We had such fun together. You made me laugh, and you showed me tenderness when I didn’t deserve it.” He touched her hair. “The way your eyes lit up when you saw the Vermeer, and the way your cute little nose wrinkled when you smelled the wine, the way you laughed when your puppy licked your face, the way you couldn’t choose between painting and writing, so you did both. I could go on forever. Then there was making love to you. It was like nothing I’ve ever known. I felt like I had found the other half of my soul.”

“It felt that way for me too,” Lily said, smiling as much as she could. “Having nothing to compare it to, I just assumed it was always like that.”

Daniel chuckled and pressed his lips to her palm. “No. It was special with us.” He rubbed her hand against his jawline. “You touched me like no one ever has. I promise you’ll want for naught if you marry me. I’ll do anything you ask. Anything at all.”

“Daniel…”

“But I won’t force you. I was wrong to try. If you don’t think you can be happy as my wife, I will let you go.”

Lily brought his hand to her lips and gently kissed it. Her head hurt and her mind was still hazy, but she needed to be honest. “I don’t want to go.”

Daniel’s handsome face lit up like a candelabra. “Then you’ll stay with me and be my wife?”

Lily longed to reach for him, to tangle her fingers in his silky hair. “Do you remember when I said I only needed two things from you?”

“Yes, but you never told me what they were.”

She sighed. “You’ve given me one. Your love.”

“You’ll have that until the end of time. What is the other? If it’s within my power to grant, I will do it.”

“First, I know I’m impulsive, but I…I never would have gone to bed with anyone but you. I need you to know that. If it had been anyone else I wouldn’t have.”

He brushed a dewy lock of hair from her brow. “I’m glad.”

“I’m not sure what it was about you that called to me that first time. I was frightened beyond measure, and I had no desire to bed any man, or so I thought. Perhaps it was the fact that you had a Vermeer, and enough appreciation for it to keep it in your bedchamber. Or that you kept kissing me that first night, even after you saw who I was. Or maybe it was because you remembered me and my painting from all those years ago. Whatever it was, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting you, so I told myself that sleeping with you would be a good experience. I never planned to marry, so I didn’t care about my virtue. But all the time we were together, I couldn’t imagine leaving you at the end of two weeks. I vowed to be careful, not to lose my heart. Every time I went to you, I told myself it was the last time, that the longer I let it go on the harder it would be to leave. But I couldn’t stop myself from going back for more, even though Amelia told me she was going to bed my brother if I pursued you.”