Just for Now (Sea Breeze #4)(68)

What the hell did that mean?

“He just left?”

“He was gone when I woke up,” she replied.

Low was missing. Cage was missing. “Fuck. Marcus can’t find Low, either,” I told her. I didn’t want to assume anything, but that was the truth.

The door swung open and Cage walked inside. His eyes swung from his upset girlfriend to me, and the fury that lit them told me he had the wrong idea.

“What the hell are you doing with my girl in my hotel room?” Cage asked in a cold, even voice.

“I came looking for you. Wipe that stupid-ass alpha snarl off your face. I’m not here to make a play for Eva,” I replied, annoyed that he was acting the same way I would.

Cage walked over to stand by Eva, who shifted away from him.

“I’ll talk to you later. You got your own set of problems,” I said, and headed out the door.

Amanda



Breakfast with Sadie was nice. I’d missed her. Seeing her again would have made this day perfect, if it wasn’t for the fact that my heart was broken and every time I saw Preston’s face and he looked past me it shattered all over again. The wedding pictures would be starting soon. I needed to put on my bridesmaid dress and fix my hair.

I started to walk to the stairs, where I knew Willow was going over things with the wedding director, when I saw Preston’s blond hair out on the beach. He was alone. His hands were tucked into his pockets, and he was watching the waves crash against the shore.

I slipped off my heels and headed out there after him.

He couldn’t hear me approaching, thanks to the wind and waves.

“You out here hiding?” I asked when I was close enough for him to hear me.

His shoulders tensed. That was the only clue I had that he had heard me.

“Is this the way it’s always going to be between us? Can we not even go back to being friends?”

Preston’s shoulders rose and fell as he sighed. “I can never be your friend, Manda.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything wrong. You did. If I can forgive you, then why can’t you forgive me? Why do you have to hate me so much you can’t stand to be around me?”

Preston turned his head to look at me. “Hate you? You think I hate you?”

I shrugged. Yeah, that was what I thought. He sure acted like it.

“I don’t hate you, Manda. I could never hate you.”

“Then why are you treating me this way? Why can’t you at least look at me? Talk to me? I’m not asking for—”

Preston grabbed me and slammed his mouth against mine violently. His tongue plunged into my mouth, wrapping around mine while his hands grabbed my butt and pulled me hard up against his body. I’d barely had time to respond, when he was suddenly gone. I opened my eyes, and he was standing in front of me breathing hard. “That is why I am acting the way I am. Because every time you get near me, I want to grab you and hold on so damn tight you can’t go anywhere again. I want to kiss you until you forget what a sorry-ass bastard I am. But I can’t. You want to move on, and I am trying to let you.”

He wasn’t over me. He wanted me. But he didn’t love me. Could I live without love? I wanted what Marcus and Willow had. But I also wanted Preston. Did I let go of the dream of a fairy-tale romance so I could have my dream of Preston?

“You show up here with him,” he growled. “How the f*ck do I handle that? All I can think about is, has he touched you? It’s killing me. It is literally eating me up inside. Knowing he may be touching you in places only I had touched you. Places that were mine. Mine! And I f*cked it up and lost it.”

I took two steps, closing enough distance between us so that I could touch him. I’d made my decision. Preston wasn’t raised like my brother. He hadn’t been given love. How did I expect him to know how to love if no one had ever shown him? Marcus could love easily. He’d been loved all his life.

I’d show Preston how to love. Maybe one day he’d love me too. He just needed someone to teach him how love works. How it feels. That it isn’t built on lies. I loved him more than my fantasy of what I thought romance was. I would never be happy with anyone but him.

I reached out and placed my hand on his heart. His pec muscle jumped underneath my hand. “I’m not dating Jason. We are friends. Only friends. Never even kissed him. He knows my heart is unavailable. I’ve explained it to him, and he is okay with that. He isn’t looking for anything more with me. This weekend he knew was going to be tough on me, so he flew in to be supportive. Nothing more.”

Preston was breathing hard. “He hasn’t touched you anywhere? Because he sure as hell hugs you too tightly.”

I grinned and shook my head. “He has hugged me twice. That is all.”

“He’s got money. He’s got fame. He’s got that damn jet. Why don’t you want him?”

I rubbed my thumb over his heart. “Because I love you.”

The hard mask on his face fell away, and his eyes swam with emotion.

“How? Why?” he asked, reaching up to cover my hand with his. “I don’t deserve it.”

“I disagree. You’re special, Preston Drake. I think I’ve been in love with you since my sixteenth birthday and you came to my bonfire party on the beach with Marcus. You winked at me and called me beautiful. From that moment on I watched you. I was fascinated by you. Then as I got older, I wanted you. Once I got you, I realized I was in love with you.”