Just for Now (Sea Breeze #4)(62)

I’d grown up in church, and I still didn’t know a lot about heaven. “Church doesn’t have all the answers, Daisy. Sometimes the answer we need is in our heart. We just have to listen to it.”

Daisy looked down at her chest and frowned, then looked back up at me. “I’ve nevah heawed my hawt befowah.”

Jimmy chuckled beside me, and I smiled over at him.

“Listen real close, and you’ll finally hear something one day,” I told her.

She nodded, then spun around and ran back toward the slide.

Once she was far enough away, Jimmy looked at me. “Thanks for not telling her the truth.”

I felt tears sting my eyes. He was so young to know so much. “I happen to think that was the truth.”

Jimmy shook his head. “No, that ain’t the truth. I believe there’s a heaven for the good and a hell for the bad. And we both know my momma wasn’t good.”

How did I argue with him? He knew more about how cruel his mother was than I did. I couldn’t sit here and tell him his mother was in heaven when I knew she wasn’t. He was right. She’d probably split hell wide open.

“Jimmy.” Preston’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and I lifted my eyes to see him walking up to us. His eyes were full of concern as he looked at his brother.

Jimmy stood up and walked to meet him halfway. Preston pulled him into a tight hug and whispered something in his ear. Jimmy nodded and looked back at me. “Thanks, Amanda. For everything,” Jimmy said.

The lump in my throat was painful. I nodded. I wasn’t sure I could talk. This was the first time I’d seen Preston since I’d walked out of his apartment. Knowing he’d just become the guardian of three kids, that the world was on his shoulders, and how alone he must feel was killing me. Dammit, why did I have to love him so much?

“Pweston!” Daisy came running from the slide when she spotted her big brother. Preston bent down and opened his arms wide, letting her run into them.

“Hey, my Daisy May. You been havin’ fun?”

Daisy nodded and pointed back at me still holding her ice cream. “Amanda came and took us away from all those people. She got me ice cweam and bwought us hewah to play.”

Preston didn’t look up at me. He kept his gaze on Daisy. “Sounds like she saved the day. You ready to go to my place now?”

Daisy nodded enthusiastically, then broke free of Preston to run back to me.

She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me tightly. “Thank you for getting us and the ice cweam.”

I bent down and kissed the top of her head. “You’re very welcome.”

“Will you come see me?” she asked, pulling away and looking up at me pleadingly.

“Yes. I’ll talk to your brother about that. We’ll have another ice cream date, okay?”

Daisy beamed at me. “Okay. I’ll see you soon,” she called out as she ran back to Preston, who was standing a good distance away from me with his hands tucked in his pockets.

“Go get Brent, and y’all go on out to the Jeep,” he said to Jimmy, and then he turned to look at me.

I stood up and walked over to throw away the ice cream and close some of the distance he had left between us.

“Thanks for going after them when they called you today. And sending your brother to wake me up. It means a lot.” The flat tone of his voice was so unlike him. It was as if all emotion was gone. He sounded hollow. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it would be okay. That I’d help him, that I loved him. But I couldn’t. He’d never loved me. He’d lied to me. As much as I wanted to ease his pain right now, I wasn’t the one to do it.

“If they ever need me, all they have to do is call. I’ll help however I can.”

Preston nodded and looked away from me. Holding my gaze wasn’t something he wanted to do, apparently. I hated that. I missed him so much.

“Thanks,” he replied.

He started to turn to walk away. I didn’t want him to leave yet. I wasn’t done looking at him. Being near him. I wanted to say more. For him to say more. This was just so wrong.

“Wait, Preston,” I called out before I could stop myself.

He paused, then looked back at me. I had to say something. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell him I was sorry about his mom, because I knew he wasn’t. I couldn’t tell him I missed him, because what good would that do?

“Don’t do this, Manda. You made the right choice. You’ve got your dinners in New York and rides in a jet now. It’s what you deserve. And I’ve become the guardian of three kids. I love them. It’ll completely change my world. And it’s what I deserve." He didn’t wait for me to process his words. He just walked away. And I let him.





Chapter Twenty-Four



Preston



Trisha had been a lifesaver this past weekend. She had come to the apartment and stayed with the kids while I worked. Rock had even come the last two nights. She’d made cookies for the kids and let them each make their own homemade pizzas. It was like she was having as much fun as they were. And she was refusing to let me pay her for watching them.

She’d even shown up at six on Monday morning to help me get them ready for school, and she’d brought them all a lunch box packed with food. They had all looked at the lunch boxes like they didn’t know what to do with them. I knew for a fact that they’d been eating free lunches in the lunchroom since day one of kindergarten, and not once had my momma packed them a lunch.