Just for Now (Sea Breeze #4)(16)

I looked around the room for my shirt and found it folded on the end of the sofa. Willow must have done that. I slipped it on, then felt in my pockets for my phone and my keys. Only my phone was there. My keys were probably in the Jeep. I should just go. Not say anything. Just go. She was right to hide from me.

I moved my feet to walk to the door and ended up heading for the room that Amanda had gone into. I just couldn’t leave it like this.

“Manda,” I called out, and knocked once before opening the door.

She was sitting on the bed with her legs folded up underneath her, staring out the window. She didn’t turn and look back at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, stepping into the room.

She shrugged and kept her gaze fixed on the window looking out over the water.

“Are you not going to talk to me now?” I asked, taking a few more steps closer to the bed.

“Our conversations don’t typically end well,” she replied.

And that was all my fault.

“I know.”

She didn’t respond right away. I watched her as she sat there. The late-morning sun was shining through the window, making her already perfect face look even more angelic. How did I always mange to hurt her? She didn’t deserve to be hurt. Her dad had ripped her world apart this past year. She needed friends. People who would love her and not continually hurt her. Why couldn’t I do that?

“This time you have nothing to be sorry for,” she said. “I got too close; you moved away. I got the hint. Not really a big deal. I’m fine. Now just go.”

Dammit. She really didn’t understand guys at all.

“Manda, I backed away because I was letting something happen that shouldn’t. You’re too good for me. You realize that, don’t you? I’m f*cked up. My life is one screwed-up mess. As much as I’d like to touch you—because, baby, you’re all kinds of irresistible—I can’t. I will never be good enough for you.”

Finally she turned her head and met my pleading gaze. I needed her to understand this. I’d let her play this game too long, and I’d enjoyed the hell out of it. Having her flirt with me had been something I looked forward to and dreaded at the same time.

“Fine. You don’t want to be good enough for me, then you will never be. I deserve someone who wants to be what I need. It isn’t like you will be my only crush. You were just my first. You taught me a lot about guys.” She stood up and walked over to me. “You’re right. I deserve more. So much more than a guy who won’t even kiss me while he’s sliding in and out of me. I’m good enough to be a quick f*ck, but I’m not good enough to kiss? Got it. Lesson learned.”

What the hell was she talking about? We hadn’t had sex. I would not forget having sex with Amanda Hardy.

“Bye, Preston. We’re done here. Conversation over.”

“Amanda, what are you talk—”

The front door opened, interrupting me, and a little voice started calling out, “Mana! Mana! Are you?” Larissa and Willow had returned.

Amanda walked past me and into the living room.

My head was spinning. What the f*cking hell was she talking about?

“Hey you, pretty girl. I missed you,” Amanda cooed.

“Martus at work,” Larissa told Amanda.

“Yes, he is.”

Larissa lifted her green eyes, and she found me standing back, watching them.

“Pweston here,” she replied happily, and clapped her hands.

I couldn’t think through the spinning in my head to carry on a conversation with the kid. I had to get out of here. I wasn’t going to get answers with Willow standing here between us.

“Hey there, gorgeous. You have fun with Manda and Low today, okay?” I told her, then smiled at her as she waved at me.

“’Kay,” she replied.

“Thanks, Willow, for the sofa. Sorry I showed up here. It wasn’t a good night,” I explained.

I couldn’t tell her that I’d been to check on my brothers and sister and found out my mom had been gone for two days and they’d been left alone at night. I’d had to go hunt her down and threaten her with jail if she didn’t get back home. She hated me more and more each day. But at least she was home now. I’d also made sure Jimmy had a cell phone that he could keep hidden in his room so he could call me the next time something like this happened.

I’d ended up drinking too much at the bar because I’d been mad at myself for not going and checking on the kids sooner. I was turning out just like my mom. I had to stop drinking so damn much.

“No worries. It’s always open if you need it,” Willow replied.

“Thanks,” I said again, then headed for the door. I didn’t look back at Amanda. She was done with me. Finally I’d managed to push away the one female who may have actually given a shit. But what had she meant about “lesson learned”? I needed the answer to that.

Amanda



“The tension was so thick I could cut it with a butter knife. What the heck was that all about?” Willow asked, after the door closed behind Preston. I didn’t want to tell her any of this. She would never understand, anyway. Then there was the chance she could slip up and tell Marcus, which would be horrible. As hurt and as angry as I was with Preston, I didn’t want Marcus to hate him. Marcus was one of the few people who Preston had to turn to. I didn’t like the idea of him being alone.