Just for Now (Sea Breeze #4)(12)

“Preston talks when he’s drunk. He talks a lot. About a lot of shit. You know what I mean? Keep your distance. I love him, but he ain’t good for you.” Dewayne’s low voice almost sounded like a rumble, but I heard every word. He’d spoken low enough that Marcus and the others couldn’t hear him. I felt my face heat up, and I jerked my arm out of his hold.

What did Dewayne know about me and Preston? Could he possibly know about that night? I’d thought it was my secret. Apparently not. My stomach turned, and I prayed I wasn’t about to get sick. It was bad enough knowing Preston had taken my virginity in a storage building on a bunch of boxes and then walked away, leaving me there alone. But knowing that someone else knew of my shame was even worse.

I had to force myself to keep from running as I walked swiftly through the crowd. I didn’t smile and pretend like everything was great. The dark beach up ahead on the outskirts of the tent and lighting was my goal. Hiding away for a few minutes while I got a grip on things was necessary.

I could hear Sadie call my name from somewhere up ahead, but I pretended like I didn’t hear her. I ran for the sand and the shadows.

I just needed a moment.

Tears burned my eyes, and I tilted my head back and blinked into the ocean breeze in an attempt to dry my tears before they ruined my face. The small sliver of hope I’d had that Preston had felt something for me was now completely extinguished. He had told someone. A moment that I wanted to remember yet wanted to wash my memory of at the same time wasn’t as private as I’d thought. Preston had talked about it, while drunk. God, I hated him. How could I have been so crazy about him when he has no redeeming qualities? I was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

“Amanda?” Jason’s concerned voice startled me. I hadn’t expected him to follow me out here. Although we’d met before, this was really our first time together without a crowd around us. I wanted to be alone. Not pretending for my date.

Taking a deep breath, I blinked away my tears and turned to face Jason. “Hey, sorry. The crowd and everything got to me. Fresh air and a quiet moment seemed like a good idea.”

“I just thought I’d check on you. I can go if you want to be alone.”

Yes. I wanted to be alone. But I couldn’t be rude. Jason had been really understanding so far tonight. I hadn’t been the best date. It was time to suck it up and get over myself.

“No, I’m glad you came out here. You can enjoy the quiet with me.” I smiled up at him. It was odd how similar he looked to Jax. He didn’t have the rocker swagger that Jax did, though. He was more polite and studious, almost.

“I like hiding from crowds. It’s been my thing since crowds became an issue with my brother’s fame.” The grin on his face was really cute.

“I can imagine. You don’t appear to be as outgoing as Jax.”

Jason chuckled. “No. Not even a little. Jax was always the one who liked an audience.”

“So, are you leaving with Jax and Sadie when they move her to LA?” It was still hard for me to accept the fact that Sadie was leaving. I was going to miss her so much.

“Yeah. Classes start next week for me, too.”

Jason would be going to college in California too. That was one of the reasons I didn’t feel guilty for using him to get over Preston. Not that it was working.

“Well, I think I’m ready to go back to the crowd now. You want to dance?” I asked, deciding it was time I stopped hiding at my brother’s engagement party.

“Sounds good.”





Chapter Five



Preston



You can’t leave a guy to “sleep it off” when he’s barely had anything to drink. A few shots of tequila does not a drunk Preston make. I lay back on the bed and stared at the white ceiling fan slowly spinning. Letting everyone around me think that I was just living from one party to the next had always been easy. It covered up the truth. I liked pretending to be carefree. It had always been better than the truth.

Letting Amanda Hardy think I was as shallow as I’d convinced her I was hurt like a son of a bitch. I didn’t want to see the disappointment and disgust in her eyes. The only thing that kept me from blurting out the truth while she went on and on about my sucky behavior was the fact that the truth was worse.

Reaching over, I picked up the white teddy bear lying beside my head and held it up to my nose. It was Amanda’s. It smelled like her. This was her sorry-ass father’s condo, but this had to be Amanda’s room. Staying in here wasn’t going to be possible. I’d just think about all I couldn’t have. I placed the bear back in its spot and stood up.

Marcus was my best friend. Sure, there was a group of us, but Marcus was the one I loved the most. He’d always seemed to know more than I wanted him to, but he never said anything. Instead of asking me questions like Rock had when we were kids, Marcus had brought me an extra lunch every day. He never mentioned it. He just did it. When I’d been bruised from one of my mom’s boyfriends’ drunken fits, Dewayne and Rock had asked why. Marcus had changed the subject and then slipped into the school office to get me an aspirin that he’d casually placed in my hands without explanation.

The guys were my family, but Marcus was my brother. Blood didn’t matter. He’d cared when no one else had known there was something to care about. I had to let this fascination I had with his sister go. I also needed to get downstairs and celebrate with him. He’d found someone worthy of him. Being locked away and sulking over Jason Stone showing up with Amanda was unfair. Marcus didn’t deserve this.