Junkyard Dog(67)

Also on the flight back, Chipper gives me a long explanation about how public school sucks and he needs more individual attention to “unlock his potential.” Candy wasn’t wrong about her kids being sneaky. They’ve clearly done their research on how to sell homeschooling. I don’t disagree with them, though. They’re weird kids, and public school will try to make them normal. I know since I was weird too. Despite the best efforts of my teachers, I remained weird yet turned out better than anyone else I knew growing up.

Candy says she’ll think about starting homeschooling after the Christmas break. I know she worries about teaching them wrong. We both worry about how she’ll handle the office and schooling the kids. Plus we’ll barely have any time alone, and Candy is excited about practicing her new blowjob skills.

Donna at the Waffle House gives us a solution. Her sister was a homeschooler. Now Leslie’s kids are at college, and she’s looking for a job. Candy likes Leslie a hell of a lot more than she does Donna, and we find our nanny/teacher for the kids.

“We learn with the lady during the mornings,” Chipper explains to his grandparents on Skype. “We stay with Mom and Hayes in the afternoon.”

“At work, we’re learning life skills,” Cricket adds, really playing up the entire thing.

The grandparents nod in unison. Watching their weird rich bullshit, I tell Candy I don’t like them. She only laughs and says life never promised me a rose garden, so I need to stop my whining. The grandparents love the twins and we’ll need to deal with them for a very long time. Much like we will with Balthazar.

When my father returns to White Horse and Gladys the Cat, I expect him to fall back into his old routine. He surprises me by wanting to meet for weekly golf at the nearby course. I’m wary at first, having gone a long time without a close relationship with him. In fact, I’m more comfortable being uncomfortable during my visits. Now he wants to be friends, and I feel a little lost.

Balthazar acts less like my disgruntled father and more like a guy shooting the shit. We play a few holes, stop for lunch, and finish up before he’s ready for his nap. He talks a lot about Mom and him when they first married. I like hearing the stories. My mother only died ten years ago, but I feel like I’ve lived most of my life without her. Now she’s alive again with his stories. Balthazar even mentions their infidelities and how marriage was difficult with him on the road.

“She was my love, and I never loved another. Maybe we weren’t the perfect couple, but I was never unhappy enough to consider leaving. She might have gotten lonely, but she only loved me.”

Balthazar never admits I’m not his biological son, but whenever he makes a point to say Gladys was his only love, I feel like he’s telling me I wasn’t a mistake created out of a bad marriage. I also wasn’t why they stayed together, and he never regretted having me around. Spelling it out in more detail wouldn’t be our style.

Upon our return, I find my office perfectly renovated. Moot shrugs when I look surprised.

“You don’t believe in no one but yourself, Angus.”

“True. Nicely done.”

Candy walks around and shakes her head. “You took too much space. Now my office space is cramped.”

We frown at her, but she only smiles. “Just kidding. I’m going to organize your office now.”

I look at Moot and shrug. “She likes to organize.”

“Good thing he met you,” Moot says to Candy, and I instantly frown.

“Don’t talk to her,” I growl.

“Ever?”

I glare at him until Candy clears her throat. “What if I’m falling off a cliff and Moot is the only one who can save me? If he offers me his hand to pull me up, can I take it?”

“How high up is the cliff?”

“Pretty far,” she murmurs, sizing up Moot. “Can I take his hand and then hug him super tight when he saves me?”

“No.”

“So I should just plummet to my death?”

“Or don’t fall off the f*cking cliff in the first f*cking place.”

Candy smiles wider. “Okay, but then you can’t have women touching you. Oh, and don’t even f*cking think of cheating. If I catch you cheating, I’ll cut the bitch’s face off and sew it onto your face. That way, if you want to see your bitch so much, you can just look in the mirror.”

Candy sounds genuinely pissed and threatening. Her warning makes my dick hard.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, and she walks into my office to begin organizing.

“You found the perfect woman for you, man,” Moot says. “Not just anyone would look you into your scary eyes and threaten to sew someone's face on you. That takes a special brand of crazy.”

“Don’t call my future wife crazy. With our money, we’re considered eccentric.”

“I stand corrected,” Moot says, laughing as he heads out for another site.

With us alone for the time being, I lock the doors before cornering Candy in my office and bending her over the desk. She pretends to be annoyed even though two orgasms. The chick knows how to commit to a lie.





FORTY TWO - CANDY


This first time Dreamy visits Hayes’s house, she ends up under the couch with Nightmare trying to smoke her out. The kids attempt to coax the dog to play outside, but he’s too busy watching the cat. Whining frequently, he pushes the couch with his nose. Everywhere the couch scoots, the cat goes too.