Junkyard Dog(64)

Candy and Cricket have no interest in golfing today. They keep mentioning how much better miniature golfing is and how this course needs more windmills. I consider telling them to wait for us at the hotel if they’re so bored, but the girls have fun goofing around in the cart and acting out scenes from Caddy Shack. At least for the first hour.

“We’re thinking about going back to the park and shop for souvenirs,” Candy says while adjusting my baseball cap. “You and Balthazar can spend quality time alone.”

“What about this little man?” I ask, patting Chipper’s shoulder.

The boy stares at me and then looks at his mother before finally focusing on his sister. He doesn’t know where he wants to go. He likely wants to go with his mom and sister but is afraid to leave my side.

“This kind of golf is pretty boring for a kid your age. Why don’t you go with your mom?” I suggest and then add, “When we get back to White Horse, we’ll go to a miniature golf course. I own one, you know?”

Chipper looks back at Candy. “We’ll go to his miniature golf course when we get home,” he tells her, and I realize the kid is nearly in tears.

Kneeling down, Candy hugs him and whispers something in his ear. He nods and a single tear spills down his cheek. Her fingers tickle at his gut, and he laughs. Just like that, he’s happy again.

“We’ll see you back at the hotel,” she tells me and stands on her tippy toes to kiss me goodbye. “Call me when you’re done here, so we can meet you.”

“Have fun. If anyone messes with you, call me.”

Candy walks to the cart before glancing back with a smile. “It’s Disney World, boss. No one is going to mess with us.”

Sitting next to her brother in the cart, Cricket says, “If they do, I’ll nail them in the balls.”

Before I can respond, Candy speeds away. I watch her make sharp turns and hear the kids screaming in delight. They’re as bad as she is.

“I don’t like her,” Balthazar says after taking his shot and missing badly. “I’ll take the penalty.”

“Why exactly don’t you like her?”

“She hassles Lizzy Anne.”

Picking up the balls, I walk to the cart. “Lizzy Anne’s job is to take care of you. Candy’s job is to make sure Lizzy Anne takes care of you. She stays on her ass, so I don’t have to.”

“She’s too rude about it.”

“That’s how Candy is.”

“No, she’s nice to me. She only gives Lizzy Anne shit,” Balthazar says, sitting next to me.

“She’s only nice to you because she thinks she has to be. Candy is rude to pretty much everyone. She regularly hangs up on people for mumbling on the phone or if they mispronounce my name or a million other reasons. She annoys half of my employees and the other half straight out hate her. Lizzy Anne isn’t special.”

Balthazar says nothing until we stop at the next hole. He’s slow to leave the cart, and I suspect he’s already tired.

“So she’s like a girl version of you.”

“Yeah.”

“No wonder you love her. You’ve always been arrogant,” he says, winking at me and then sliding out of the cart. “Figures you’d want to marry yourself.”

After Balthazar realizes Candy isn’t gunning for Lizzy Anne, he’s on board with the marriage. No more talk of gold diggers or evil children. He’s a happy motherf*cker even though I kick his ever loving ass the rest of the afternoon. The poor bastard finally gives up and watches me. I admit showing off a little for dear old dad. Clearly spending time with the twins has put me in a childlike mood.





THIRTY NINE - CANDY


The kids are exhausted by the time we finish shopping at Big Top Souvenirs in Fantasyland. I drag the bags to where we can catch a bus back to the resort. Hayes texts to say he’s an hour from finishing. I text back to say I need sleep and ask how he’s doing with his daddy/son time. He sends me the middle finger emoticon. My man is always eloquent.

Sitting on a bench, I hand Chipper the bottle of soda we bought in the store. He takes a gulp and hands it to Cricket. She drinks a little and leans against me.

“I love it here,” she mumbles.

“Me too,” an exhausted Chipper says.

“Me three,” I add and then decide the time has come to mention Hayes’s proposal. “Hayes wants to marry me and become a family.”

Cricket tightens her grip on my hand. “No.”

“Why no?” I gently ask, having assumed she wouldn’t be excited.

“I don’t want to move. I like our house. I want to stay where we are. So no.”

Chipper looks at me in the same way he did on the golf course. He’s torn between wanting what he has and craving what Hayes offers.

“I love him,” I explain as people pass us.

“He yelled at you.”

“He yells at everyone. He also apologized, and he never apologizes. He loves me, and I think he’s falling in love with you two too. That’s why he brought us here. To make you guys happy.”

“I don’t want to move,” Cricket whines, crying against me. “I like our house.”

Chipper can’t handle his sister crying and begins to sob too. I ignore all the people looking at us. Screw those idiots. Their kids were likely bawling earlier in the day. Now my kids get their turn.