Joshua Healy (The Mitchell/Healy Family #10)(19)

Josh sighs. He pulls me closer and leans forward to kiss my awaiting lips. “I don’t have a sexual void.”

My brow raises. “Oh really? Do you have an entourage of women at your beck and call?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

This surprises me. “Are you lying to me?”

He repeats the same process, his head moving from side to side, with the same response. “No.”

I swallow a lump in my throat and ask what’s on my mind. “When is the last time you were intimate with another woman?”

“Months.” He snickers. “You done?”

“Are you clean? We’ve obviously been having unprotected sex. It’s partly my fault, because I let it happen. I just don’t want to wake up with herpes or worse.”

“You have nothing to worry about. I’m usually pretty careful.”

“Why me then?”

Josh shrugs. “I didn’t expect it to happen last night. You were a f*cking mess. I got carried away.”

“And now?”

He brushes my hair behind my ear on one side. “I’m selfish for coming here. I know that.”

“I’m glad you came.”

He motions toward the bed. “Get back in bed and prove it.”

The towel drops, leaving me completely naked and vulnerable. He crouches down and plants a soft kiss on the skin of my *. “Maybe I don’t like leaving things unfinished.”

He backs me up on the bed and immediately joins me. We wrestle around, until we’re mangled in between the sheets and each other. When it’s quiet again I ask one final question so I know where we stand. “What happens when you finish? Is this over? Will I just be another notch in your bedpost?”

He counters with a reply I’d never expect. “There’s a possibility it might never happen. We’ll just have to keep spending time together until we can figure it all out. Do you have a problem with that?”

I shake my head. “I should, but I don’t.”

He takes my hand and kisses it. “I’d like this to continue, Tamsyn.”

“This could be bad for both of us.”

“Yeah, well nothing good ever comes easy.”

“So, we’re going to do this, you and me?” I’m giddy talking about it, not the way a woman should feel after breaking up with someone she thought she loved.

“Sure.” He seems confident.

“I have nothing left to lose, so give it your best shot.”



We face one another and talk for hours about life. I tell him about Shaun and everything we’d been through, the good and bad. He talks about being in love once, but how she didn’t feel the same way toward him. I think it was Livvy, but I’m too afraid to ask. I’d rather not know than worry if he compares every other woman to her. Since she’s always been beautiful and independent, I’m threatened by her. I can remember wishing I had her life instead of my boring middle class parents. Knowing she’s been with Josh only makes it harder to digest. I’ve always been a little jealous, not like the stalker type, but worried about other women wanting the men I’m involved with. Joshua Healy is the type of man who could have anyone he wanted. Women have probably thrown themselves at him and his cousins. Far be it from me to assume I’m the only person he’s currently seeing, even if he says it’s true. I have to go into this with one eye open, because if I don’t I’m afraid I could lose myself in him.





Chapter 9


Joshua


If Liv can walk away from what we had and marry someone else, I need to reevaluate everything I’ve ever believed to be true.

She never loved me.

It’s a hard blow for anyone with feelings to endure, but especially difficult for me, because she’s the only person I’ve ever had that type of connection with. It’s mostly my fault. I’ve never given another woman a chance.

After leaving Wes and Cammie’s house, my mind is all over the place, but there was one constant that kept me feeling as if it was time to throw in the towel and start over fresh. I can’t dwell on what will never be, but I can find someone else that enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers.

I didn’t expect much when I picked Tamsyn up from the dealership. She was a blubbering mess, with her mind set on getting sloppy drunk until she couldn’t think about her problems. Not only did I successfully help her achieve those goals, but I somehow fell victim to my own desires.

In some perverse way, I think Tamsyn represents a part of Liv I always wanted to hold on to. She knew her when we first started whatever it was between us. It's sick. I don't want the reminders, in fact I'd prefer it if I could forget they ever happened and focus solely on this beautiful woman in front of me. She's extremely my type; attractive, outgoing, thoughtful, and straight forward. She's a victim of her own heart, which is something else we have is common. Wanting her is dangerous, but I know if I stop for a second I'll be forced to walk away, because it's what I've always done. For some reason this time feels different. When we part I have the urge to run right back. As she stares into my eyes I'm getting lost in the moment, forgetting the real purpose that I've sought her out.

I don't have to pretend with her. She doesn't expect me to live up to some false image because of who my family is. She's not out to change me, or tell me I'll never be good enough. I realize it's new and things could change, but for the time being I'm content, and that says a lot. I'm never comfortable like this. Sure, I wanted to f*ck her from the moment I first set eyes on her, but now that it's happened, I can't find a reason good enough to stay away.