Ink Enduring (Montgomery Ink #5)(68)

Maya stared at the other woman in shock. “You knew?”

Holly gave her a sad smile. “Of course, I knew, Maya. And I feel like a butt for being with him for as long as I was when you were in love with him. I…I didn’t know it went both ways until it was almost too late.”

Holly’s words processed in Maya’s mind, and she shook her head. “No, he doesn’t love me, Holly. Not like that. He’s never once told me that.”

Holly raised a brow. “And did you tell him you loved him?”

Maya pressed her lips together and shook her head slightly.

With a sigh, Holly spoke again. “Jake keeps his emotions close to the vest. You know that. He might look like he’s open and very clear about what he’s feeling, but he’s just as good as you are about hiding it. If he hasn’t told you he loves you yet, it’s because he’s either waiting for you and Border to do it first, or he’s figuring out the next forty steps so he can make sure everything is perfect when he finally does say it.”

Maya studied the other woman, who seemed to know Jake far better than Maya thought Holly did. She honestly shouldn’t have been surprised, considering Holly and Jake had been together for a long time, and the other woman was apparently really good at reading people.

“Things fell apart for Jake and me, and that’s fine,” Holy said with another sad smile. “Yeah, it sucked, but he got you and Border in the process. Others have told me he’s been happier than ever.” She said the last part dryly, and Maya winced.

“Others?”

Holly snorted. “Not your family or close-knit friends. But the others in the outer circle who like to rub it in a bit that Jake apparently left me for not only his best friend, but also a man who was his best friend in the past.”

“He didn’t leave you, though,” Maya whispered. “You left him.”

Holly squeezed Maya’s knee. “He would have eventually. He would have figured out what to do with all those feelings of his. I think Border showing up on his doorstep that night probably put it all in perspective for him, at least a little bit. He wasn’t mine, Maya. He never was, and I’m okay with that.” She paused. “Now anyway.”

“I’m sorry,” Maya said. “I never meant to butt in.”

Holly shook her head. “You were always there. I was the intruder.” She held up a hand. “And that’s enough of that. I’m not part of the equation here. It’s you, Jake, Border and now this little peanut.”

Maya laughed at that. “Peanut?”

“Grain of rice? Ink dot? I don’t know what you want to call him or her yet, but for now, tell me why you’re crying exactly.”

Maya figured she should start over so her brain could work. “I told them I was pregnant, or rather, they saw me on the floor with tests and figured it out themselves. I told them it was too fast, but we could work it out. And they said nothing. Literally nothing. I said we should have loved each other first, and they didn’t tell me they loved me. Instead, they moved closer to each other. So I left. They had each other first, Holly. I was the one standing in the way.”

Holly sighed and picked at the gravel at her side. “Jake loves you, Maya. I don’t know Border at all, but I think it’s fair to say he cares about you if he was ready to live in a triad like he was. So, yeah, Jake loves you, but he’s an idiot. Like I said, I don’t know Border, but I know Jake. Talk to him. Talk to them. Don’t run. I know it sounds like you should because it hurts to be there, but don’t run. Give them a chance to say something. Because, Maya, you didn’t tell Jake you love him either.”

Maya blinked. “But…but…he should know.” And that sounded as lame to her as it apparently sounded to Holly, who merely raised a brow at her.

“Maybe he thinks you should know, too. If he doesn’t say anything after you speak to him when you’re not sobbing and freaking out, then you can kick his ass. I’ll help if you need me to, but you probably won’t. You know why? Because you’re freaking Maya Montgomery and you rule. Got me, honey? You can do this. Just have faith and make them speak. Because they’re probably as freaked out as you are right now, and it’s not helping anyone.”

Maya stared at the other woman, her mind whirling. “I didn’t tell them I loved them.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I’m an idiot. I need to go to them. Tell them. I shouldn’t have run. Why the hell did I run?”

“Because it’s scary, and that’s okay. Just run back to them.”

Maya stood then, bringing Holly with her into a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Anytime,” Holly said softly. “Anytime. And Maya? Congratulations, Mommy.”

Tears stung her eyes again, and she let out a watery laugh. She could do this. She’d run because she’d been scared and the fear had taken every ounce of doubt in her relationship with them and made it even worse. She’d fix this, tell them she loved them and open her heart to them. Because not knowing what would happen if she did hurt more than anything.

She was going to be a mother.

And she loved the two idiots who’d knocked her up.

So she’d better figure out a way to make it all work.