Ink Enduring (Montgomery Ink #5)(36)

“So…”

“Your shoulder and neck still bothering you?” Jake asked.

Border wanted to lie so he wouldn’t have to explain the scars but knew if he started down that path, there would be no coming back from it. Once he lied, he’d have to keep up the lie, and he’d only lose Jake in the process. And probably Maya, as well. Though he had to talk to her in order to have her.

For now, Jake had Maya. Hopefully soon, he would have Border.

That meant that Border and Maya would find a way to work out how they would…be. Eventually.

And those thoughts were why he needed the damn tequila in the first place.

He nodded in lieu of answering since he wasn’t quite sure his voice would be steady enough.

“Take off your shirt.”

He blinked at Jake’s tone. “Excuse me.”

“Take off your shirt,” he repeated. “I’ll rub your shoulder down.” He grinned. “And nothing else unless you ask nicely.”

“How much tequila have you had if you’re this…accommodating already?”

Jake just rolled his eyes and reached over to tug on the bottom of Border’s shirt. “I’m tired of being angsty, so I’m going to try to get through the tough parts because I remember the good parts. You know? And if I keep thinking about what I’m f*cking up, I’m just going to keep f*cking it up.”

That sounded like a decent plan to Border, so he did the only thing he could. He took off his shirt.

Since his eyes were on Jake’s, he got to witness the intake of breath, the widening of Jake’s pupils. Jake licked his lips once again, and Border held back a groan. He threw the shirt on the loveseat next to their couch, keeping his eyes on Jake.

“Maya said to do what felt right,” Jake said slowly. “To…be…to be us. Are you okay with that?”

Border tilted his head, studying the other man. Jake looked so much like he had all those years ago, but better. Older. Those strong cheekbones still stood out, as did the squareness of his jaw, but the bend in his nose from where one of his brothers had accidentally broken it made the man look not quite as pretty as he could have.

Instead, he looked f*cking sexy as hell.

Border knew he didn’t look quite as…gentle? No, that wasn’t the right word because there was nothing gentle about Jake. But he still had a few rougher edges that came with how he’d grown up and how he’d lived his life after he’d left Denver. Border had been buzzing his hair short for so long, he wasn’t even sure he could quite remember what color his hair was. He was a little broader than Jake, a little bulkier since he had a few more muscles, but that had always been the case. He didn’t have the striking features Jake did, but he did remember the way Jake liked to scrape his teeth along the edge of Border’s jaw.

Jake had seemed to like him the way he was, though they’d been too scared to break their friendship to do anything about it.

It was different now, he knew, so f*cking different. Add in Maya, and things were just one step from being a catastrophe. But no matter what, Border would do his best not to let that happen.

“You’re quiet,” Jake said. The other man studied his face, his eyes dark and filled with worry. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

Instead of answering, Border reached out and cupped Jake’s jaw. The other man inhaled sharply before leaning into Border’s touch. Border licked his lips and leaned down, just needing a taste, just one taste.

When he touched his lips to Jake’s, they both let out a moan as if they’d been starving for one another. Maybe that was the case, and if so, he was damn well fine with it. He needed this, needed more. And he was afraid to tell anyone just how much he needed it. He pressed deeper, keeping his mouth shut, the same as Jake. They could go further, and he knew they would, but for now, he just needed the touch of Jake’s lips to his own, the feel of the other man in his arms even if it was just for the moment.

He pulled back after a heartbeat and met Jake’s gaze.

“Damn,” Jake said with a grin.

“Damn,” Border repeated.

“I take it you’re okay with just being, then? One step at a time?” Jake traced one finger over Border’s jaw before letting his hand fall. The feeling of Jake’s skin against his made him want to bend Jake over the couch and have his way with him, but that would be too fast. Even with their history—especially because of their history—they needed to think before they did anything they would regret. Because it wasn’t only them that mattered now. Maya was in the room with them even if she wasn’t physically present. And while Border was happy with that, he was always aware of it, as well.

Border nodded. “I can do that. But we talk the whole time, okay? Secrets only mess us up. And Maya’s part of this, remember? No secrets from her.”

Jake shook his head. “No secrets from her.”

Border then said something he wasn’t sure would be the right thing, but it was something he’d been trying to figure out since he’d first seen Maya and Jake in the same room.

“I don’t think we should have sex until you, me, and Maya talk. Together.”

Jake’s eyes widened. “Okay…”

He reached out and gripped Jake’s hand. “We’ve had sex before Jake. We did, and we didn’t talk about it. And I don’t want that again.”