Ink Enduring (Montgomery Ink #5)(35)

Border chuckled roughly. “Yeah, that would be good.” He swallowed hard, trying to think of what to say next. He didn’t like this, didn’t like that he didn’t know the steps. He wasn’t some twenty-something kid anymore. He’d seen things, done things; things that would make others run for the hills. He’d had relationships with men and women before, though never at the same time. It wasn’t as if he were some innocent virgin, and yet with Jake, he couldn’t quite help but feel off-kilter.

Maybe it was because this was important. Far more important than anything he’d done in his personal life. And if it wasn’t for the fact that his professional life included protecting people’s lives, he might have said this was more important than that, as well. As it was, he wasn’t sure he could find the distinction in what he felt and what he should feel. He’d come to Denver to see Jake and meet Maya, but to also clear his head from his last job.

He’d lost a piece of himself when he’d been too slow to stop the inevitable. It wasn’t that he thought Jake could help him find that fragment, but more that Border was tired of trying to heal alone. He was tired of running, and now he was home.

Only not moving, not running seemed to be harder than constantly being on the run from his fears. Of course, if facing what he’d done, what he’d lost was easy, he might have done it years before.

“Are we f*cking this up?” Jake asked suddenly. He ran a hand through his hair and frowned. “I mean, I slept with my best friend, Border. And it was…” Jake smiled softly, and Border felt a punch in the gut at it. He wanted to be the one to give Jake that smile, but at the same time, he was happy that Maya had been the one to do it.

There was something fundamentally wrong with the way Border’s mind worked when it came to Jake and Maya, and frankly, he couldn’t give a f*ck about it. He liked it.

Border put his hand on Jake’s shoulder, and they both froze at the contact. The man had so many more muscles, so much additional history than he’d had when they were younger. Border wanted to know all of it, wanted to know the feel of Jake under him, over him. Surrounding him.

But they couldn’t do that if they were freaking out in Jake’s kitchen.

“Why don’t we have a drink or four and just…be?” Border said into the silence.

Jake licked his lips, and Border wanted to lean just a little forward and lick the spot Jake’s tongue had just wet.

Jake coughed. “Yeah, a drink or four sounds like a good idea.”

Or a really, really bad one.

Jake turned, and Border let his hand fall to his side. He rolled his neck, trying to stretch out the tightness in his shoulders. When Jake looked over at him, he frowned.

“Your neck hurt?” the other man asked as he pulled down a couple of shot glasses from the cabinet.

Border shrugged then winced. “Just a little.” The old gunshot wound he had in his shoulder flared up with the rain and when he was stressed, but usually he just dealt with it. From the look in Jake’s eyes, he had a feeling he wouldn’t be hiding that particular scar for that much longer.

Jake gave him a tight nod before taking the bottle of Patron out of the other cabinet. He used to hate tequila, but after being with Maya for so long…things had changed. Things always changed.

“Take a seat on the couch. I can help with that.”

Border snorted and took the shot glasses with him. “Really? You’re going to rub me down? Think that’ll help the whole talking thing we need to do.”

Jake grinned. “Well, we already have the tequila in our hands, might as well make some other poor decisions.”

Border reached out and gripped Jake’s wrist. “What we do tonight? What we do from now on? They can’t be poor decisions. They’re our decisions, but not poor ones. Got it?”

Jake nodded slowly. “Okay.” He drawled out the word. “Are we sure the tequila is going to help that?”

“Hell, no,” Border said with a laugh. “But I think we need it anyway.”

“Then go sit on the couch. You don’t need lime or salt or anything, right?”

Border shook his head. “Not with Patron. It goes down smoothly.”

“Too smoothly sometimes,” Jake murmured.

Border settled himself on the couch while Jake sat next to him, not quite touching, but closer than they’d been sitting since he’d gotten there. It seemed they were ready to break through a few of those boundaries they kept toeing around.

“We never could afford this kind of tequila when we were younger,” Border said with a laugh. “The crap we used to drink, I’m pretty sure it took a layer of my stomach lining with it.”

Jake rolled his eyes as he poured each of them a shot. “It was what we could afford at the time.” He handed Border one of the shots and tapped his glass to the other. “To figuring it the f*ck out.”

Border snorted but nodded. He quickly took the shot, the warm burn of tequila sliding down his throat nice and smooth. There was a reason this was his favorite brand.

Jake lifted the bottle. “Another?”

While it would take more than one shot for Border to even start to feel the effects of damn good tequila, he didn’t want to start down that road…yet. “Not right now.”

Jake nodded and set the bottle down before settling into the couch a bit more. “So…”