Imperial (Insight #8)(63)

I halted my hands and looked at him.

“She made me vow to her that if she ever lost sight of bliss that I would guide her back to it.”

I began to tremble. I had said such words. Not to him, but to my Creator.

“How fare thee with that charge?” I said with a wide-eyed stare that was pouring into his blue eyes.

“Not well, I’m afraid. She does not see how precious she is to me and to those with her.”

“She understands the sacrifice. Clearly now,” I said with a nervous swallow.

“I fear she doesn’t. But nevertheless, her actions will get the results that I wish for.”

He glanced to Silas’ body, then to my eyes. “Our children teach us as much as we teach them.” And with that, the Cowboy that masked the essence of my Creator vanished.

Our children teach us, I repeated in my thoughts. Mazing had taught me a lot, for sure. Unknowingly, she taught me that in any form we would know one of our own. She taught me that one way or another, if your intentions were not harmful that you would reach them, and when you did that validation would taste so sweet.

I had to do right by her. If the Creator honored her coupling with Colton, well, Silas, then she would die the instant I struck Silas. Considering the conversation I just had, something told me He condoned their bond. If I let it be, Silas would hurt someone in Vade’s line, in turn hurting Mazing, and they would both perish. There was no way out of this. Mazing had to change, had to become what Silas is in order to survive.

A sick feeling surrounded me. I didn’t think I had the will. I didn’t think I could harm one hair on my precious First’s head. Even though I knew she would openly volunteer with or without knowing who Silas was.

Our children teach us, I repeated once more, glancing down at the stick the Cowboy had left at my side. It was sharp now, could be used as a dangerous weapon if needed. It actually looked like an arrow to a bow. The symbol of eternity was carved into the point.

I breathed in again. How could He possibly ask me to do this? Even in theory, it was sickening.

In order to kill my line, I would have to rip them apart one by one, tear their essences into pieces as I stared into their souls, souls that had trusted me far too many times with their fate.

Our children teach us, I heard over and over in my head. One of the first things Silas demanded of me was to say that word. I didn’t then because it would bring my line down, instantly. Surely by the Creator Himself.

Children teach us, children go into the light, the Cowboy’s words were overlapping in my mind. They regret not telling the ones they left behind that they loved them.

I smirked. How freaking poetic. He told me exactly how to kill them, assured me that they would be risen to be like Silas. I knew if I succeeded in this mass murder that in time Vade would recover, he would understand. His emotion of anger was in every single one of those other kings, and with the help of my risen Escorts-slash-Witnesses he would smite them all and rebuild our race. Only one sacrifice was needed: my soul.

I trembled as I leaned forward and rested my head on my lap. With my eyes squinted closed, I saw rapid-fire images of Vade rush through my mind. I felt his skin against mine, his velvet words.

I cried. I had never once cried. Tears may have snuck out, but I never cried. Not when my mother struck me; not when she starved me to the point of pain or told me I was a wretched devil. I never cried as I died…I cried now. I cried so hard that every part of my soul quivered. The sovereign in me slowly perished, and the timid girl emerged. She felt her first and last heartache so deeply that death would be nothing more than a relief.

I knew Vade would never understand my reasoning, even try to talk me out of it, that he would be in pain for a while, but as our race was restored he would find bliss again. And at least he would know how I felt about him. He would know that I never said it before or allowed myself to feel it because I could not bear to see him in agony, I could not bear to think that anyone or anything could bring down the stoic King of Anger. He would know that I was never a queen, but a girl, a girl that cherished him and appreciated every single moment I’d shared with him.

With each gasping sob, I felt this armor of wrath that I hid behind break a part, I felt all the emotions it restricted flood to the surface.

I tried to hold them back until I was face to face with Vade, but it was a battle that I was losing.

This one emotion, this one word would slaughter my entire line, everyone that I had openly claimed and had openly accepted me. The army of Witnesses was about to expand to a massive level.





Chapter Sixteen





My last word would do more than finally tell Vade what he had made me feel for a thousand eternities. It would also be a command, a desire given to him and my line. The command was to feel that word so deeply that their souls hummed, and the desire was for them to fight for the right to do just that, for them to sacrifice as I did for those that will be our precious tomorrow: those priceless metallic souls.

My energy and Vade’s were more than connected right now. I knew he could sense my call, that I had to call him now.

The circle of kings he was in right now, those meetings, could last the length of a moon or longer; they all tended to debate until they had beaten the topic to death.

I couldn’t wait that long. If I did, I would lose my nerve and sit and wait for my doom.

My thoughts screamed at him long before I manifested myself to the sacred hall of springs. I knew here that I could not only look into his eyes, but around me, in the water. I would witness the fall of my line, but hopefully the Creator would grant me enough breaths to see their rise as well.