Image (Insight #3)(42)

“Willow, this is just one guy’s opinion, so don’t hate me for it, but if he loves you half as much as he says he does, his life was over when he saw you choose Landen – twice,” Dane added.

“So you’re saying, ‘He’s suicidal - so it’s fair?’” I said, holding back my temper.

“No,” Dane said, rolling his eyes. “If he was suicidal, he would have found an easier way to die. I’m saying that he’s struggling to find a purpose now and that he wants to lay his life down for you. Telling him that he can’t is just as painful as losing you for a third time; all of you will die in vain.”

I slid down the wall and pulled my legs to me. I wanted it all to go away; I wanted to feel the way I did when I was one with Landen, to live in that bliss and hide from the pain in which the body lingered. Dane leaned against the opposite wall and watched me struggle with my thoughts; he felt helpless. I was surprised that he hadn’t been more forceful with me. I knew my decision not to kill Drake would sentence us all to death.

I felt Landen, then looked up and saw him and Marc walking my way. Half way to me, Marc halted. Dane understood the wordless direction and walked further down the hall; they were giving me and Landen a barrier, which was as much privacy as we’d be allowed to have. Landen reached me and sat down at my side. He then wrapped his arm around me, and I hid my face in his neck. I felt the beat of his heart against my cheek and watched as his chest rose and fell. My imagination took me to watching Drake kill him in a dim future, and I held him tighter as I pushed the thoughts away.

“Willow, I love you. I don’t want you to have to do this alone, but I can’t help you,” he thought.

“I would never ask you to kill for me,” I thought quietly.

Landen moved his shoulder so I’d have to look at him; his blue eyes looked deep in my soul. “I would, Willow, but that’s not why I can’t help you now,” he thought.

“What are you not saying,?” I thought as my eyes raced over his face.

“August demanded that they show us why they were so certain. When they read the scroll again, Alamos argued the theory that it would simply kill Drake and enter me, that because you loved me it would have your heart, your power instantly.”

“They said it couldn’t live in a soulmate,” I argued.

“They thought that because of Oba. Alamos argued that Donalt told him the words he used against him were for his sons - not him. He could be stronger; we have to prepare ourselves for that scenario.”

“No,” I thought. As the reality of losing Landen came to me, tears pooled in my eyes. He pulled me into his lap and held me as tight as he could.

“I’m going to fight to stay alive; promise me that you’ll do the same,” Landen thought.

I nodded and kissed his neck softly, then let my face rest against his warm skin. “I feel blind; I can’t feel Alamos or Drake, and Perodine seems to hide her emotions from me at will...I don’t know who to believe or if what I’m being asked to do is right.”

Landen let his hand run across my back. “Everyone in that room’s sole intent is to keep you alive, for you to be the person you’ve fought to be for so long,” he thought, kissing the top of my head.

“How can Drake be so content with dying?”

“He doesn’t want to die; he thinks he’s saving your life by surrendering his.”

“He told you that?”

“No; I can feel it. He did tell me not to look at you when it begins, and that if it manages to enter me - one look into your soul would be all it needed,” he thought.

“He’s helping you.”

“He’s protecting you; I’m just his source.”

“It’s not fair, Landen. What are we going to say to Beth when she wakes up?”

His arms tightened around me, and I felt his grief for Beth for everything she’d endured. “I don’t know. I’d hope that she would focus her attention on Preston and help us defeat this monster.”

“I can’t imagine them facing this one day.”

As I felt the defeat in front of me, tears burned in my eyes. I didn’t ever want my sister to feel the emotions that were coursing through me right then. A fear came through Landen, but he quickly suppressed it and brought forth the emotion of hope. “I’m more than sure that when their time comes, they’ll be more prepared than you or I.”

“What if it’s you? I can’t bear the thought of doing this to Drake. I know I won’t be able to do this to you,” I thought, sitting forward on his lap and staring into his eyes. I put my hands on his face and traced the beautiful indents of his dimples, which were hiding from me. He took a jagged breath and leaned his forehead to mine; he was doing everything in his power to remain calm, to keep me calm.

“You have to, and even if I lose this fight, I’ll go to Pelhan’s and wait for you to finish what we’ve started. We will never be apart; I promise you. I need you to see it that way.”

“Landen.”

“Willow, listen to me: no one ever really dies; this is just a passage. Don’t let this monster kill you.”

I felt Dane and Marc’s frustration; they’d both turned at the sound of our voices and were staring at us. Landen waved his hands, urging them to turn away. He then cradled my face with his hands and forced me to look into his eyes.