If I Was Your Girl(56)

I slowly, carefully, started creeping my way toward the road. I was about halfway there when my busted ankle slipped out from under me. I reached out to grab another branch for support, only to have it snap loudly as I cried out and fell to the wet ground.

“Found you!” Parker yelled. I tried to stand but he was bursting through the darkness in seconds, pouncing on me and pushing me down into the mud with a horrible, irresistible strength. I heard something rip as the left strap of my dress fell loose. I kicked and slapped at him but my feet couldn’t get to him and he quickly pinned my wrists down by my head. He had just kicked my knees apart when I heard a metallic click from behind him.

“I knew you were a creep,” a girl’s voice said. A beam of light landed on us, revealing Chloe’s silhouette holding a rifle pointed at Parker’s back.

Parker slowly stood. I scrambled backward until my head hit a tree trunk and pulled my knees to myself, gasping. Chloe led Parker away, leaving me in darkness again until a small hand grasped mine and pulled me up.

“Come on,” Anna said, her voice hushed.

We made it to the road, where I saw Parker standing with his hands pressed to his truck, his face red as tendons jumped in his jaw. Chloe stood vigilant behind him, her hunting rifle still raised, a look of absolute, dispassionate boredom on her face.

“We’ve got her,” I heard Layla say, sounding calm but with an undercurrent of panic. “I’ll call you back.” I turned and saw her putting her phone away as she jogged over to us. She pulled me into a hug and I winced at a burning pain in my shoulder and ribs. “We were so worried!”

“I’m fine,” I said. “Thank you.”

“Grant texted us,” Layla said, leaning in to examine my face and making a pained expression.

“Yeah,” Anna said. “He said Parker’d called him once word started getting around. Said he sounded drunk, talkin’ about helpin’ Grant get revenge on you and putting you in your place.”

“Oh,” I said, pulling on the strap of my dress. I was shivering even though I didn’t feel cold. I didn’t feel much of anything. “That was nice of him.”

“Amanda?” Layla said, taking my hand and giving me a worried look. “You okay?”

“No,” I said, realizing for the first time just how badly I was shaking.

“Want us to call the police?” Anna said. I looked over my shoulder and saw Chloe watching me, both eyebrows raised.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” Layla added.

“No,” I said.

The last thing I wanted was for a nurse to take pictures of me. The last thing I wanted was a night spent with police officers who had probably already heard about me by now, and wanted to ask questions about my private parts instead of about what had happened. I just wanted to forget everything about tonight. I wanted it to be over.

Chloe prodded Parker once with the rifle and barked for him to leave. He complied quickly, jumping into his truck and driving off into the night.

“If you say so,” Layla said. She was quiet for a moment, then looked right into my eyes. “What can we do?”

“Please just take me home,” I said.





29

I laid my head against the passenger window as Layla drove silently. The chilly glass was a relief on the throbbing skin where Parker’s punch had landed. I closed my left eye—the right was already swelling shut—and willed myself through time. I wanted this car ride to be over. I wanted to skip the conversation with Dad and the bus ride back to Atlanta and Mom’s worried looks and just be back in my room in Smyrna with the blackout curtains pulled tight.

“I owe you an apology,” Layla said. I glanced in her direction but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry we just stood there, in the gym.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I wouldn’t know how to handle me if I were you.”

“That’s not even it,” Layla said, shaking her head. “It’s—”

“Don’t lie to me, okay?” I said louder than I meant to, making a cutting motion with my hand. “Thanks for what you did with Parker, but you can stop pretending.”

“Amanda…”

“I’m a freak,” I said. Tears came but I wasn’t sad. I thought maybe I was angry, but I didn’t know who I was angry at. Grant, for not loving me. Parker, for what he had done. My dad for warning me, for being right. Myself maybe, for thinking I could ever be happy. “I’m a freak, and jerks like Parker are always going to want to see the freak show, as long as they know the truth about me.”

“Amanda!” Layla said. I sniffled and scowled at her, but the look she gave me withered my anger. “Don’t you dare talk about my friend that way.” She reached out and grabbed my left hand with her right. I flinched at the touch but quickly accepted it. “The truth is that you’re my friend, Amanda. You’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever known, inside and out.”

“Really?” I said, wiping my nose.

“Hell yeah,” Layla said. “I mean, I’m trying to picture what you must’ve been like before you became Amanda, and I can’t even think of a way the Amanda I know could ever pull off being a boy.”

“I wasn’t very good at it,” I said, a small smile twitching at my mouth. Layla smiled in return.