Ice (Elite Forces #1)(38)
I let the hot water burn my skin and make the hurt inside dissipate just slightly as it does. I wish more than anything that I could talk to Jason right now about where my head is at. He would understand more than anyone; he's lived it. He knows what it's like to kill a child; after all, it consumed him for the last months of his life as he tried to overcome it and failed.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JADE
Three beers and a few chocolate chip cookies down, and a breakfast date arranged with my dad before the night ends, give me a good feeling with both of my parents. A shower that lasted a half hour was exactly what I needed despite the soreness still in my arm. I have my mom help me wrap it, and I’m very proud of her for not asking any questions she knows I won’t be able to answer. It’s not an obvious bullet graze, but it is apparent I was hurt out there. I just wish the true ache in my head would disappear and the heaviness I’m carrying around in my heart would go away by the time this wound heals.
I’m climbing into my old twin bed, ready to succumb to sleep, when my text messages go off. Harris is finally getting back with me, and before I have the chance to reply to his second text, he’s calling me.
No ‘Hello Jade, how are you feeling?’ Just good ole Harris getting straight to the point.
To be honest? I’m thankful he isn’t trying to coddle me. Or become all possessive. I’m even more grateful we didn’t cross over that unwritten line of friendship. We came damn close, too close actually. It may have ruined the friendship I cherish too much and made things awkward.
“Do you want me to pick you both up on Friday?” he offers, and honestly, the thought of him dealing with most of the driving sounds nice. Mallory and I won’t be able to cut completely loose, but I’m sure they’ll get along well enough to make the weekend trip.
“Sure. What exactly are your plans for Alabama, Harris?”
“Absolutely f*cking nothing. I want to just be free in the damn US of A for a damn minute without an itinerary or schedule to follow.”
“Sounds damn perfect. What time do you plan to head out?”
“I’ll head your way that morning, so say… around three o’clock I’ll be by to get you both.”
“We’ll be packed.”
“Hey.” The line goes silent as I wait for him to continue.
“Yeah.”
“You okay?” His voice is truly sincere, and I can feel his warmth through the phone. Well, there goes that thought from moments ago. He means well. I know he does. I’ll touch lightly on the subject with him. I will be okay and his concern warms me. I’ve been entirely wrapped up in my career for so long that for once I need to put myself first, especially now that I’m home where I can deal with this my own way. Because when you're out there fighting, it’s not only you, it’s an entire team. We all depend on each other.
“I’m working on it.” He knows it, there’s no use hiding it from him. This man has been my shadow and vice versa for months. When you work that closely with someone, you get to know what they’re thinking and feeling. Plus, I’m sure my situation in itself warrants his concern.
“Alright. I’ll talk to you Friday. Bring your shit kickers, you’re going to need them.”
“I don’t own shit kickers, Harris.” I should’ve known his country ass would have me doing some insane stuff that will most likely involve us getting into shit. Literally.
“Go buy some.” He hangs up. Fucker. Shit kickers, my ass. I place my phone back on the nightstand and connect it to my charger before I switch off the light. Every part of my body is physically and mentally drained to the point that I don’t remember a damn thing after I roll over onto my side and sleep for eight hours straight for the first time in at least a month.
~~~~
“Alright, you win. I’ll take the box of donuts and dinner next week at your favorite Irish Pub, dad. You do know though I’m going to have to work out extra hard for eating these donuts.” The way he looks at me, and his damn eye is twitching, I know he’s coming back with a smartass comment.
“Do me a favor and use those muscles you have to knock your brother Jeremy in the water. He’s still cocky as hell. A good ass-whooping is what he needs.” I slide the box of donuts and my small bag into the back seat of my car, laughing. Jeremy will never change. His mouth has gotten him into more trouble than any other person I know.
“I’ll do my best. Maybe pay him back for all the things he did while we were growing up. Thanks for everything, dad,” I say seriously.
“Anything for you, Jade. You have a great time this weekend.” He pulls me into his arms. I could stay wrapped up in him forever, but I need to go. I’ve had a great time with my parents these last few days. Shopping with my mom, lunch and a much needed mani/pedi, which will probably be ruined by the time Harris has me cleaning up pig shit with these damn shit kickers I have on my feet. These things are hideous. It should be fun though; laughing is exactly what I need.
My idea of fun is not rolling around in shit, but hey, after talking to my doctor on the phone yesterday and getting clearance to go back to active duty when I'm called, I probably should live a little and experience things outside of work before I'm back at it. I worked really hard to make the doctor believe I was ok. Deep down I'm dealing with it, but it's something I need to work out on my own. A trip like this will give me more time to process it all.