I'm Thinking of Ending Things(36)

“I was getting rid of the cups.”

“Come on,” I say. “Get in, quick. Let’s go.”

He closes his door, then reaches across me and opens the glove box. He looks in, and then shuts it again. The snow on him is melting. His bangs are messy and stuck to his forehead. His glasses fog up from the warmth of the car. He is pretty handsome, especially with red cheeks.

“Why didn’t you just throw the cups out in that garbage can? You were right there. I saw you.”

“It wasn’t a garbage can. What were you looking for in the glove box?”

“Nothing. I wasn’t looking. I was waiting for you. What do you mean it wasn’t a garbage can?”

“It’s filled with road salt. For when it’s icy. I figured there was probably a Dumpster back there,” he says, removing his glasses. It takes him a few tries to find a piece of satisfactory shirt, under his coat, to dry and defog his glasses. I’ve seen him do this before, dry his glasses on his shirt.

“And then there it was. The Dumpster. But I went a little farther. It’s a huge field back there. It just seems to keep going on and on forever. I couldn’t see anything beyond it.”

“I don’t like it here,” I say. “I had no clue what you were doing. You must be freezing. Why is there such a big school out in the middle of nowhere, anyway, with no houses around? You need to have houses and people and kids if you’re gonna have a school.”

“This school’s old. It’s been here forever. That’s why it’s in such rough shape. Every farm kid in a forty-mile radius goes here.”

“Or did.”

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t know whether it’s still open, do we? Maybe this school is closed and hasn’t been torn down yet. You just said it’s in crap condition. I don’t know. It feels empty here. Void.”

“It might just be closed for the holidays. That could be. Have schools started up again?”

“I don’t know. I’m just saying it’s the feeling I get.”

“Why would they have road salt in the bin if the school wasn’t operational?”

This is true. I can’t explain it.

“It’s very humid in here,” Jake says. He’s using the bottom of his shirt to dry his face now, still holding his glasses in one hand. “There was a truck back there. So, sadly, your theory that the school is derelict and void of life is bunk.”

He’s the only guy I know who uses the word sadly in conversation like he just did. And bunk.

“Back where?”

“Back behind the school. Where I found the Dumpster. There’s a black truck.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, a rusty old black pickup.”

“Maybe it’s abandoned. If it’s a beater, behind an old shitty school way out in the middle of nowhere, this would be an ideal place to trash it. Maybe the best place.”

Jake looks at me. He’s thinking. I’ve seen this expression before. Seeing these mannerisms of his that I know, that I like, am attracted to, it’s endearing and comforting. It makes me glad he’s here. He puts his glasses back on.

“The exhaust was dripping.”

“So?”

“So, the truck has been driven. Condensation from the exhaust pipe means the engine was running recently. It hasn’t just been sitting there. I think there were tracks in the snow, too, maybe. But definitely exhaust drips.”

I’m not sure what to say. I’m losing interest. Fast. “What does that mean anyway, a truck?”

“Means someone’s in there,” he says. “Like a worker, maybe, I don’t know, something like that. Someone’s in the school, that’s all.”

I wait for a while before I speak. Jake’s tense, I can tell. I don’t know why.

“No, it could be anything. Could be—”

“No,” he snaps. “That’s what it is. Someone is in there. Someone who wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have to be. If he could be somewhere else, anywhere else, that’s where he’d be.”

“Okay, I’m just saying. I don’t know. Maybe there was a car pool and a vehicle was left behind. Or something.”

“He’s in there alone, working. A janitor. Cleaning up after all those kids. That’s what he does all night while everyone sleeps. Clogged toilets. Garbage bags. Wasted food. Teenage boys piss on a bathroom floor for fun. Think about it.”

I look away from Jake, out my window to the school. It must be hard to keep this big building clean. After all those students have spent a day in there, it would be in shambles. Especially the bathrooms and cafeteria. And then it’s up to one person to clean the whole thing? In just a few hours? “Anyway, who cares, let’s just go. We’re already late as is. You have to work tomorrow.”

And my head. It’s starting to throb again. For the first time since we’ve left Dairy Queen, Jake removes the key from the ignition and pockets it. I forgot we were still idling. Sometimes you don’t notice sound until it’s gone. “What’s the rush all of a sudden? It’s not even midnight.”

“What?”

“It’s not that late. And with the snow. We’re already out here. It’s kinda nice and private. Let’s just wait for a bit.”