Husband Fur Hire (Bears Fur Hire #1)(20)

“No. I feel…” God, how did she put this where he would understand? “He told me once I was the only thing that could save him, and I kept him around too long trying to be that for him. He died alone, off in the woods somewhere in some awful way. Bear attack. They aren’t quick, you know.”

Ian’s eyes tightened in the mirror, but whatever argument he’d been about to give, he kept it to himself.

“I feel guilty. I did love him. Once. There. I feel bad that I wasn’t enough. How pathetic, right? The man wasn’t even nice to me, and still, I can’t stop replaying those words in my mind. He was so serious, like he really thought I could make him into a better person. It’s guilt that has me weak, and you don’t deserve the ghost of that man in this house. Our house.”

Ian spat toothpaste and rinsed, took his time wiping his face with the hand towel, then turned and leaned back against the sink ledge. “You have nothing to feel guilty for.”

“But he died alone—”

Anger flashed across his eyes. “He died like he was supposed to, Elyse. There was nothing you or anyone else could’ve done to change that man’s ending.”

“But—”

“No.” Ian reached for her and crushed her against his chest, squeezing the air and her argument from her lungs. “Going over it in your head and feeling bad won’t change anything. This isn’t your fault. Listen to me.” He hugged her tighter and lowered his lips near her ear. “His death isn’t on you. That’s just you scratching at a cut and keeping it raw. It won’t heal if you don’t leave it alone. You’re enough, Elyse. Cole wasn’t.”

Something changed inside of her. It was instantaneous, breathtaking, and warm. He’d said she was enough. No one had ever said that to her before. Before this moment, she’d been the kid in school who needed improvement. The daughter who couldn’t maintain the relationship she wanted with her mom. The girlfriend who couldn’t hold a man’s attention. The sister Josiah had to pack up his whole life for, just to make sure she was okay. The homesteader who’d steadily failed at carving out a life here. The niece who’d missed the last years of Uncle Jim’s life chasing an empty life of her own.

But here, in Ian’s arms, he was telling her differently with such conviction in his voice. You. Are. Enough. What that combination of simple words did to her middle was incredible. Where she’d shunned compliments before, convinced anything nice said about her couldn’t be true, these words stuck to her ribs. They rattled around in her head and landed right in her heart, and in this instant, she believed him.

To Ian, she was enough.

Slowly, she slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest, over his pounding heartbeat. It felt so good to be right here with his words warming her from the middle like a good shot of whiskey. His arms were so strong around her, hugging her close as if he didn’t want to let go any more than she did. She’d been freefalling before now, and Ian Silver, a man she had no right to have this strong a connection with, had just reached out and plucked her from the sky.

Exhaling a shaky breath, she clutched the back of his shirt. No more tears for Cole. Ian was perfectly right. Even if she’d let him stay, the truth of the matter was that Cole had gone long before she kicked him out. He was staying with other women and drinking all night in Galena, avoiding domestic life. Avoiding her. How could she be expected to save a man like him? He hadn’t even tried.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her knees going soft as she melted against him farther.

Ian nuzzled her cheek until his beard tickled her skin. “For what?”

“For coming here. For sleeping on my floor because you were worried. For saying I’m enough. For all of it. Everything.”

His heart raced under her cheek as he eased back by inches. His lips were so close to hers now. So close. If she just turned her head…

Ian’s hand slipped to her cheek and around to her neck, cupping her gently as he stayed frozen there. This felt big. So big her hands went cold and damp, and her heart raced to match his. His bright blue gaze was at her mouth. Ian leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, and Elyse’s legs locked completely. If it wasn’t for one of his arms around her, she would’ve fallen, but Ian was there to catch her. He was good. Right down to his marrow, he was a good man.

He moved his mouth against hers, and an embarrassingly helpless noise escaped her throat.

In the moment that followed, a strange noise came from Ian’s chest. It was short and low, like a hum, but it made his chest vibrate in a strange and exciting way. Oh, sexy growly man. He angled his head more and brushed his tongue against her lips. Elyse opened for him because she could trust him. He was worth being vulnerable for. His tongue stroked against hers in a slow rhythm that had her gripping his shirt even tighter, hugging him even closer. Feeling brave, she pressed her tongue just inside his lips and the hum was back, only louder this time. His erection was thick and hard against her belly, and desire unfurled inside of her. His fingers were tightening around her neck now as he kissed her harder.

How long had they been here, entangled like this. Minutes? Hours? Time lost meaning as he showed her just how tender and how sexy he could be. The man was building a fire inside her, and he was taking his time with it, letting her savor the feeling of his affection. Slowly, he backed her against the wall. Intertwining his fingers with hers, he lifted both of her hands over her head and slowed his kiss again. He altered their pace over and over, slower, faster, softer, harder, making her anticipate when he would let his control slip.