Husband Fur Hire (Bears Fur Hire #1)(18)

“Anchorage.”

“City girl,” he said, teasing in desperation to see a smile on her face again.

She scraped the bottom of her bowl, so Ian stood and refilled it for her. When he sat back down and settled the steaming beef stew in front of her, she said, “I used to spend time out here with my Uncle Jim in the summers when I didn’t have school. He and his woman, Marta, didn’t ever have children of their own, and my mom was overwhelmed raising me and Josiah by herself. She got the summers off of being a parent when she sent us here. And it was fine by us, because we got to help my uncle around the homestead.” Elyse ghosted him a glance, then returned to her food. “I fell in love with this place when I was seven.”

“Is that why you’re so hard on yourself for struggling here?”

“Yeah. When I stayed with my uncle, I thought there was nothing he couldn’t do, you know? He could fix anything and come up with a solution to every problem. I watched him dig a water filtration system to get water in this cabin, just because Marta wanted it. I saw him treat her like a queen as much as he was able, and he never got impatient with explaining how and why he did things around the homestead. My dad wasn’t in the picture, so Uncle Jim filled this void in me I couldn’t figure out how to fill up when I lived in Anchorage. Josiah always loved this place, but me? I loved this place.” She pursed her lips and shook her head, shrugging her shoulders. “It always felt like home, and my real home in the city felt temporary. I think my mom saw that, too, because even when Josiah started wanting to stay in the city and spend the warm months shooting the shit with his friends, she kept sending me here.”

“Why didn’t your uncle teach you to hunt?”

“He got me through the hunter safety course, but by the time most of the big game seasons came about, I was back in Anchorage going to school. And when I turned eighteen, Mom wanted me out of the house the second I graduated high school, so then I got a job in the city and my visits out here were few and far between. Life, you know? I got caught up trying to cover my bills. I missed the last of Marta’s life, and I missed the last of Uncle Jim’s. And I missed this place. I was unhappy and uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t know a damned thing about myself and couldn’t figure out what was missing, and then Uncle Jim left me this place in his will when he passed three years ago. And suddenly, everything made sense. It was like coming home after being away for a really long time. And I was proud of myself for the first time in a long time because the first year I did okay. Josiah helped a lot and settled twenty miles away. The grazing was better over his way, so we figured out how to run the cattle together. Sometimes I think he moved here to make sure I was okay, though. He liked Anchorage more than I did. He has friends there.”

“And you didn’t have friends after all that time there?”

“I did, but it wasn’t like with my brother. I have trouble connecting with people. No, that’s not true,” she said with a deep frown. “I have trouble picking the right people.”

Ian nodded slowly. He could see that. She was trusting and gave too many chances, and sometimes in this world, innocence like that drew in dark people who liked to take advantage. She’d put herself in a submissive position and drawn in the dominants who would feed off what she could provide, be it emotional or material. It was the easiest thing in the world to see why a woman like Elyse would want to make a life way out here where she didn’t have to make those decisions on who to trust.

“Is that why you let Cole come around?”

Elyse gave him a faraway look and an empty smile, then pushed her half-eaten bowl away as if she’d lost her appetite. “Cole came around because he found a good mark to use. And being too big a * to break it off with me, he made himself unacceptable so I would pull the trigger on our relationship. I’m going to go to bed.” She stood and walked abruptly into her bedroom, leaving Ian’s head spinning on what had just happened.

What had he said? He’d just asked about Cole because he was honestly curious on why a smart, hard-working, level-headed woman like Elyse would allow a free-loading * to drain her like that.

Elyse closed her bedroom door behind her, and from the other side, he heard the trickle of water from her bathroom sink. Troubled, he ate slowly, going over and over their conversation. He didn’t want to be done talking yet. He was only just getting to know her. But maybe that was the problem. Perhaps she wanted to get to know him, too, but he’d shared nothing about himself and had asked her to share her deepest regrets with him. This shit right here was why he was going to make a terrible mate…er…husband. He had no social skills and was baffled by every single thing she did and said. Grizzly bear shifters were solo creatures. Too dominant to hold relationships with each other, as highlighted by his non-existent bond with his brothers, and the instinct to settle down only struck on rare occasions. And that usually turned out awful by the first hibernation because what woman on earth was going to deal with their man sleeping for six months of the year instead of carrying on a relationship with her? None. Even his own damned mother had been done with his dad long before she delivered his triplets. Overwhelmed and uninterested in mothering multiples, she’d given Ian and his brothers to Dad for full custody by their second year.

Maybe he should’ve told Elyse that part. Maybe she wouldn’t feel like she was giving too much for nothing in return then.