How (Not) to Fall in Love(82)

From Charlie: “I wish you hadn’t done this. Please turn around and come home. I’ll go with you and we’ll do this together. Your mom needs you.”

Of course she needed me. She needed me to find Dad.

Finally, I looked at the single text message from Lucas. “Damn it, Darcy. I can’t believe you did this. Not cool.”

The one person I wanted to call didn’t sound like he wanted to hear from me. I knew he’d be mad, but somehow I’d hoped that his concern for me would override the anger, that his feelings for me were strong enough to forgive me for ditching him.

So much for that.

I looked at the list of recent calls. Eleven calls from Mom. Five from Charlie. Four from Liz. Seven from Sal. Zero from Lucas.

I called Mom, who answered on the first ring. “Darcy! Where are you? How could—”

“Mom, please just let me talk. I’m okay. I’m perfectly safe in a nice motel. It’s run by a sweet little old lady who likes dogs. For real.”

“You have to come home. Turn around right now. I swear if you don’t—”

“Mom, please calm down. I told you, I know where Dad is, or where he’s going to be. I should get to him today.” I looked out the window at the blowing snow. “Or tomorrow. Then I’ll come home. You have to trust me, Mom. I promise I’ll stay in touch, but don’t keep calling me or texting me every five minutes, or I’ll turn my phone off. I swear I will.”

She didn’t speak. I heard sniffling. Then another voice spoke into the phone.

“Darcy? Are you all right? We’re all so worried.” Charlie. The one person I couldn’t be tough with. I sighed into the phone.

“Charlie, I’m okay. Honest. It’s kind of…exciting. A little weird. And like I told Mom, I’m in a perfectly safe motel.” I took a deep breath. “Can you keep Mom from calling out the cavalry? Buy me some more time? I swear I know exactly where I’m going.” I swallowed. “I know where he is, Charlie. I can feel it. I can feel him.” It sounded crazy, but if anyone would understand, it’d be Charlie, the priest of Broadway.

Charlie’s sigh was deep and drawn out. It sounded just like Dad when he was disappointed in me. “I wish you had waited. Let me come with you.”

“I know,” I whispered. “But I had to do it by myself.”

He sighed again. “What if you’re wrong, Darcy? What if you don’t find him? How long are you going to keep looking?”

I’d been fighting away that worry ever since I made my plan to leave. How long would I look?

“If he’s not in Montana, I’ll come home.” He’d be there. I could feel him calling to me.

“You promise?”

“Yes.”

“You have enough money?” Charlie’s voice hummed with worry.

“Yes.”

He sighed again. “I know the truck is running fine.”

I winced. “Yeah. Not great in the snow, but Lucas was…wonderful.”

“You should call him.” It was a command.

“I don’t know. He’s sort of mad.”

“We’re all ‘sort of mad’ at you, Darcy. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to know that you’re safe.”

I pulled at the threads on the bedspread. “Maybe you could tell Lucas I’m okay? And that I’m sorry?”

“I’ll tell him you’re okay. You can tell him the rest.”

If he ever talked to me again.

“Is he with you?” I pictured Lucas pacing in front of the Christmas tree, watching my mom freak out.

“No, he’s not here. But you know how to reach him.”

It was time to disconnect. I needed to sleep. I was exhausted from leaving so early, the stress of sneaking out of town, and then driving in the snow on an unknown highway. Mostly I was panicking that I’d actually done it. What if it was a wild goose chase, like everyone thought? What if I was just as crazy as my dad?

“You need to check in often.” I’d never heard Charlie so serious, so commanding. “If not, we will call the police, Darcy, to find you and make sure you’re okay. Your mother can’t take much more of this.”

“I’m sorry. Charlie…” I hesitated, afraid to ask the question I needed to. “Is she drinking again?”

He sighed into the phone. “No, fortunately. She’s doing okay. Some of her recovery friends came by to be with her.”

If guilt were water, I would’ve drowned. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “For all the worry I’m causing. But I promise this is going to end well. You’ll see.”

“I hope so, Darcy. I hope so.”



Two hours later I was still wide awake, even though fatigue overwhelmed me. I drew the curtains across the window, blocking out the white skies, but I still couldn’t sleep.

I wanted to call Lucas, but I was too chicken, so I texted him. “I’m sorry. So sorry. Forgive me? Some day?”

He didn’t reply. I leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed my jeans from the floor. I pulled out the present and slowly unwrapped it. When I saw the heart-shaped stone suspended from a silver chain, my heart danced inside my chest. I secured the clasp behind my neck and finally fell asleep, dreaming of the real Stonehenge in England, of finding my dad performing there to an audience of druids while I danced around in cowboy boots.