How It Feels to Fly(42)

“What about you, Sam?” Zoe asks. “Isn’t the ballet world full of gay boys?”

“And straight ones. It’s a stereotype that all male dancers are gay, just like . . .” I was going to remind her of what she said at lunch on Monday, about all ballerinas having eating disorders. But I don’t want to go there. It’s too close to what I try never to think about. “Anyway,” I say, “the only guy at my studio’s straight.”

“And are you two . . . you know . . .”

“No.” I think about tiny, goofy Theo and can’t help but laugh. “No.”

We sit there, talking about random stuff, for another few minutes. We learn important facts such as Dominic’s favorite color—orange—and how old Jenna was when she broke her first bone: three, and it was her pinky finger, and it happened when she was jumping on the bed after her parents told her not to.

Then we hear a creak in the hallway.

“Shh!” Zoe hisses. Like any of us was going to make another noise in that moment. When we’re not busted, Zoe says, “All right, losers. Back to bed.” She gathers up the bottles and walks out of the room without another word.

Jenna and I look at each other. “That was weird,” she says in a low voice, motioning toward Zoe’s departing back.

I nod.

“But also not terrible.”

I nod again.

Jenna brushes some imaginary dirt from her pajama top. “Well, good night, Sam.”

“Night.” I wave at the others and follow Zoe down the hall.





fifteen


ANDREW HAS A MUG OF BLACK COFFEE WAITING FOR me on the kitchen island at seven thirty Saturday morning. “Just the way you like it,” he says with a smile.

I actually am starting to like it this way. You can taste the richness of the coffee, without the sugar and cream masking it. Or maybe I just like that this is something between me and Andrew. He knows how I take my coffee. Sort of.

I help him cut up fruit for the fruit salad. I eat my daily clementine, thinking that if nothing else, by the end of Perform at Your Peak, I’ll be caught up on my vitamin C. And then I ask Andrew some of the questions from last night’s Secret Society meeting.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green,” he says, rinsing out the fruit bowl. “What’s yours?”

“Blue. Like a deep teal.”

“Nice.” He pours in the sliced strawberries and the clementine segments and the halved grapes. “Like, after-sunset blue?”

I nod fast. “Yeah, exactly.” He gets it. He gets me. I need to know more. “Do you have a favorite number?”

“Forty-two,” he answers without hesitating.

“That’s, um, random.”

He leans in close, putting on a solemn face. “It’s not random. It’s the answer to life, the universe, and everything.”

“Okay . . .”

He steps back, and I miss him right away. “It’s from a book,” he says. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I take it you haven’t read it?”

“No.”

“You should pick it up.”

“I will.” I don’t read much for pleasure, but if Andrew recommends it, I’ll find it.

“Good morning!” Zoe saunters into the kitchen and throws open the fridge door. “I need a Bloody Mary. Hair of the dog, and all that . . .”

Andrew laughs. “Party too hard last night?”

“You know it.”

I laugh weakly. Because no, she didn’t party too hard last night. Obviously. But those stolen beers are still under her bed, in our shared bedroom.

“Here.” Andrew hands her a mug. I’m jealous—until he says, “Let me know how you take it.” Then I sip my black coffee and let myself smile for real.

DR. LANCASTER ASSEMBLES us in the Dogwood Room after breakfast. “You are not your talent,” she says to start the session. “You are so much more. So today, you’re each going to teach a fellow camper a new skill. But”—she holds up a finger—“not your primary skill.”

“What do you mean?” Omar asks. He already looks anxious. He’s doing the fidgeting thing again.

“You could be considered experts in your respective fields—but you’re beginners at other activities. And that’s okay. You can still have fun regardless of your skill level.”

She breaks us into pairs: Jenna and Dominic, Zoe and Katie, and me and Omar.

“Jenna, you’ll be teaching Dominic to tie a balloon animal. Dominic, you’ll be teaching Jenna to jump double Dutch—with assistance from Andrew and Yasmin on the jump ropes.”

Jenna’s mouth drops open and Dominic laughs out loud.

Dr. Lancaster continues, “Zoe, you’ll be teaching Katie how to construct an Ikea side table. Katie, you’ll teach Zoe to program an old VCR.”

Zoe shakes her head. “Oh, Katie, you are in for it.”

“And finally, Omar, you’ll teach Sam how to build a house of cards, and Sam, you’ll teach Omar how to fold an origami flower.”

I look at Omar. “I’ve never done origami in my life.”

“How hard can building a house of cards be?”