Holding His Forever(14)
I feel his hand take mine. I look back at him, but his eyes are on the road. His fingers lace with mine and give me a little squeeze.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“Home,” he says simply, like it’s my home, too. I haven’t had a place that felt like home in forever. Maybe I never really did. I’ve had places I stayed with my mother, but I will never call the house I lived with my father a home. That wasn’t a home at all.
“Where is your home?”
A sheepish look crosses his face, and I could swear he blushes a little, but it’s hard to tell in the dark interior of the truck.
“Yeah, about that.” A moment of panic hits me at what he is about to say. That sweet little bubble I’m in with him might be about to burst. I try to pull my hand from his, but he only tightens his hold. What if he’s married or something?
“Where you slept last night is my home. Well that, or the firehouse, and I’m sure as f*ck not taking you back there.”
“You said”
“I know. I just didn’t want you to be unconformable and wanted you to have a safe place for the night,” he admits, and the now-familiar warm feeling wraps around me.
“You make me feel safe,” I confess. I feel the furthest thing from uncomfortable around him.
“You make me feel whole again.” He brings my hand up to his mouth, kissing it, never taking his eyes off the road. It almost sounds like he was in pain and I’ve taken it away. The idea that I have that kind of power is intoxicating. I wish I could see his face right now because that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me in my whole life.
We sit in silence for a little as he makes the drive across town.
“You hungry?” he asks, pulling up to the front of his house “I can order us something or take you somewhere, if you like.”
“I ate, so I’m okay, unless you want to get something.” He ate at the diner while he watched me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a man as big as him ate every few hours. Firemen must work out a lot.
“The only thing I want to eat right now is you.” He words are deep and sensual and send a thrill up my spine. My face heats. I don’t think he knows I have no idea what I’m doing. Maybe I could fake it. I know about sex, I just haven’t done it. I don’t want to disappoint him, but the way he looks at me makes me think I could just stand here and he’d be happy with me. Whole, like he said.
“Don’t move,” he says before hopping out of his truck and coming around to my side and opening the door, giving me his hand to help me down. It’s not even a high truck, so his attentiveness has me fighting a giggle.
“You always this sweet?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.
He wraps an arm around me, pulling me close as we walk towards his door.
“My mom taught me manners, but I don’t recall anyone ever calling me sweet.” When we get to his door, he unlocks it and pulls me into his place. He shuts and locks the door behind me. The lock has barely clicked into place when he’s on me, caging me in with his big body. His hands rest on the door behind me, bracketing my head.
I still don’t feel a trace of fear. My hands go to his chest, my fingers digging into his shirt.
“Strawberry or mango?” he says, and I raise an eyebrow at the odd question.
“Thought you weren’t hungry.”
“I meant, which smell do you like more?” He presses into me.
“I’m partial to both,” I tell him, unsure what this is about.
“Good. I got you both. I’d get you anything you asked for,” he says, then his mouth is on mine once again. The kiss is just like our first one. The same need clawing at us both. Before I know it my legs are wrapped around him and he’s carrying me through the house, my back hitting his bed. I still don’t let go of him, keeping my body wrapped around him. I don’t want any space between us, and I need this contact more than my next breath.
He looks down at me with the most intense look I’ve ever seen, and it steals my breath.
“You look like an angel. I shouldn’t want to do all these things to an angel, but I don’t think I can stop myself. I don’t even think God could stop me at this point,” he admits. I can see he’s trying to fight himself. He’s trying to pull back, but I don’t want that. I want him.
I wiggle under him, desperate for him to keep going. I want more of him, wanting all of the things he makes me feel.
“Then don’t.” I’ll be his as long as he wants me. I’d give him anything if he always made me feel like this.
12
Phoenix
I’d done some digging while I waited for Fia to finish her shift at the diner. I’d talked to Jim again and given him her name and gotten as much as I could. I knew her dad had died and had been reported for abuse on several occasions, and that she and her mom had been in and out of shelters before finally getting on her feet when she was old enough to start working. I also saw found out that she is close to finishing college, but had dropped out when her mom passed away. I’d checked and she was preregistered for the fall semester in school, but I’m willing to bet the fire sent those dreams up in smoke and set her back to where she was.