Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva #4)(25)

Luka eyed the table carefully, plotting his next shot as he got into position, lining up his pool cue to the exact spot he needed. It was his last ball before pocketing the eight. He was about to take the shot, poised to do so, until the bell chimed at the entrance.

It was a reflex, really, looking up anytime someone walked in, but this time his hand tightened reflexively around the handle as he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Luck was definitely not on his side as Alex sauntered in, ever careful in those sky-high heels of hers. They might not have been practical, but they did amazing things to her legs and he would be a liar if he didn’t say he appreciated the view.

She was intent on the bar, and his first thought had been that she’d come in for him, but when her gaze didn’t even drift in his direction for the briefest of moments, he banished the thought.

Luka wanted to ignore her, pretend like he hadn’t seen her at all—it wasn’t as if she had noticed him in the shadowy corner he stood in—but he couldn’t, too aware of her despite the distance between them.

His grip tightened on the pool stick he held, his eyes narrowing on the shot he planned to take, but now that he knew she was there with him, he couldn’t ignore her, no matter how he tried. Even now, he could hear her. She was not speaking loud enough that he could make out what she was saying, but it was loud enough that he was distracted.

And like most times when it came to her, his concentration was shot.

His grip on the pool stick was so strong it was a miracle it didn’t crack under the pressure. Like most of the males who were present in the place, his eyes drifted over Alex, taking in every last bit of her, and the outfit that molded to her body. If one could even call it that. The top she wore stopped just beneath her breasts, the same burgundy colored skirt fitted to her hips and thighs. Stomach bare for anyone to see.

Whenever he came in, he ordered a drink, though it normally sat untouched, but tonight, he downed it, needing something to calm his nerves.

He wanted to ignore her presence entirely, should have ignored her, but he was drawn to her in a way that he couldn’t fight. Even now as he stood more than a dozen feet away from her, he was aware of every move she made. The way she flipped that silky hair over her shoulder, the flirtatiousness of her smile…it shot his concentration to hell.

Reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his back pocket, he was about to take one out when he heard the man next to Alex speak up, saw the way he looked at her, a look that Luka himself had shot in her direction. He started across the room before he could stop himself, and every protest he might have thought of fell silent.





14

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Fix Yourself

Beneath the spray of steaming water, Alex tried to wash away her sins, desperately wanting to rid herself of Snow’s touch, but no matter how long she stood in the shower, she could still feel him everywhere.

The minute she had gotten home after seeing him, she rushed to the bathroom, purging what little there was in her stomach, but with the evidence of who she had become in her hands, it only made her feel worse.

For two days, she remained in her apartment, alternating between showering and curling into a ball in her bed. She felt like nothing, worse than she already did. Thoughts of Anya and Luka had faded to the far recesses of her mind as yet another failure confronted her.

But no matter how shitty she felt, it was only so long that she could lay there and beat herself up before the reminder of the pills came rushing back.

Already, she could imagine the sweet release they would bring her, and with it went her crumbling will.

She didn’t bother only taking one as she had before. She took three. Sadly, the effect didn’t set in immediately.

Turning off the water, she climbed out, reaching for one of the towels she had hanging nearby. She had to step over clothes that littered the floor, along with an assortment of other things she had left out.

Usually, she was clean to a fault, liking things in their proper place, but she couldn’t bring herself to care anymore.

Hunting through her closet, she picked out clothes blindly and dressed down—at least for her—wearing an oversized sweater and skater skirt. She didn’t bother with heels—she wouldn’t be able to manage that later on.

Grabbing her keys and purse, she headed out, though she wasn’t quite sure where she was going.

She didn’t know where she was headed, didn’t know if there was any end in sight at all because she was finally, blessedly, numb to it all.

Alex was lost in the clouds, drifting through, mist wetting her face as she headed down the street with no end in sight. She was rather enjoying herself until she reached the lit bar at the corner, peering through the windows, catching sight of tumbling blond hair and tattooed arms.

What were the odds that she was seeing him tonight of all nights? Thankfully, she didn’t see Natasha hanging around, or many other females for that matter, and maybe if she wasn’t floating on her own personal cloud, she would have kept walking.

But seeing him made her long to talk to him because if there was one person she could turn to, it was Luka.

As she reached for the door handle, a thought hit her. What would he think if he knew what I did? He wouldn’t judge her—there wasn’t a judgmental bone in his body—but the idea of him being disappointed in her almost made her turn away.

But she kept on because she needed him more than she was afraid of him learning the truth.