Hidden Ink (Montgomery Ink #4.5)(26)

Sloane froze at her description then cursed. “Don’t go outside, Callie. Stay here with Austin and Maya. Okay?”

She frowned at him. “Who is it, Sloane? What has you so worried?”

He lowered his head and kissed her temple. “Just be safe, Callie. I’ll go outside and see what it is. If it’s a drugged-out guy, though, I don’t want you anywhere near him.” Nor did he want Hailey anywhere near him, but he couldn’t say that without drawing attention to the issue. If Callie were worried about him, she’d bring Hailey over and then he wouldn’t be able to hide his past anymore.

And he needed to in order to keep Hailey untainted.

He left a confused Callie in the office and made his way to the front of the store, aware that Maya and Austin were watching him. He ignored them and walked outside in just his Henley, picking up his leather jacket from the hook at the front of the store on his way.

The hauntingly slender man in front of him was a blast from the past. The guy was a few years younger than Sloane, but looked at least fifteen years older. It didn’t look like he’d shaved in over a year, nor did it appear as if he’d cut his hair. Normally a buzz cut, it brushed the top of his shoulders and hadn’t been washed in far too long.

He wore an old uniform, as well as a threadbare jacket that hadn’t belonged to him in the past. He shifted from foot to foot, his attention on the sky above them.

“Jason.” Sloane’s voice was gruff, but firm. He didn’t know why the man was here today, but damn it, it tore at him that Jason was like this.

If it weren’t for luck and some determination, he’d be right by Jason’s side, living on the street, strung out and in pain.

“Ever wonder what it feels like to fly?” Jason asked, his eyes still on the clouds.

Dread filled Sloane’s belly and he did his best to keep his voice calm. “I used to, but I found I like my feet firmly planted on the ground.”

Jason met his gaze and Sloane wanted to break down. The man wasn’t high, far from it. Instead, his old friend, the man he would have died for, the man he’d almost died for, felt everything. There weren’t enough drugs in the world to hide the pain of what Jason was feeling—of what Sloane felt every day. Callie had been right in thinking it could be a lack of sleep that led to the look of him, and now Sloane knew that was true. Jason may have used in the past, but it had never been something he constantly did.

“If my feet are on the ground, then I know theirs aren’t.”

Sloane held back a curse as bile rose in his throat. “They might not have boots on the ground, but we’re here, Jason.”

“And they aren’t. You still dream of them? Still dream of the burning. Because I do. That’s why I don’t sleep, you see. Because if I sleep, they’re louder. Now they’re just whispers, telling me I should move on. Telling me I should stay. It doesn’t make sense, Sloane. Why doesn’t it make any sense?”

Sloane moved forward and slid his leather jacket over Jason’s shoulders. It was old enough that Jason might be able to keep it for a bit before it was stolen by someone else on the street. He didn’t dare give him something better in case someone thought it was worth Jason’s life. He’d done that before and hated seeing the cuts on Jason’s lip from the fight. He also could take Jason in or force him off the streets. He’d tried that and had only ended up watching Jason walk away again. His friend needed to stay where he was and Sloane could only help so much.

“You need to stay warm, Jason. Have you eaten today? Let me get you something to eat.” He wouldn’t take him to Taboo, though it was the closest. He didn’t want to bring Hailey into this. Or bring this to Hailey. She’d see the darkness beneath his skin and know the truth.

“I can still hear them screaming.” Jason faced Sloane fully. “Why did we live? Why did I have to be in the truck behind you guys? I should have been in your truck like normal. But I got in the other one when we ran out of that last building. I got into the wrong one. And now they’re dead and I’m here and it doesn’t make sense.”

Sloane clenched his jaw and put his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Let’s get you something to eat, Jason.”

The other man shook his head. “I’m okay.”

He wasn’t. But then again, neither was Sloane. “Let me give you some money for later, then.” He pulled out his wallet and took out the rest of the bills he had in there. It wasn’t much, but it was something. He stuffed them into the pocket of the jacket he’d given Jason and squeezed the man’s shoulder. “Be safe, Jason. Please.” Tears pricked at his eyes and he forced them away. He didn’t have a right to cry. Not anymore.

“I always am, Sloane. That’s the problem. Isn’t it?” With that, Jason shuffled off, his hands in his new pockets.

Sloane stood there for another few minutes, watching Jason walk away and knowing he hadn’t done enough. He never did.

“Sloane?”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breaking inside once more. Hailey’s voice broke him into a thousand pieces, and yet he knew he couldn’t show her that. Wouldn’t. She’d seen it. What had she heard? What would she do?

“Go inside, Hailey.”

He heard her move toward him, but he kept his attention focused on the direction where Jason had disappeared.