Hetch (Men OF S.W.A.T #1)(77)

Fuck.

“Yeah. Hetch was there. He tried to talk him down. He couldn’t.”

“Oh, God, I had no idea he was dealing with that.”

“Neither did I. It all came out after the jumper on the overpass in the city three weeks back. It brought up those issues with his dad. Next thing I know, he’s drunk and breaking things off with me.” I leave out the part about him coming back to me and the moment in the shower. It was a private one. I know Payton would never reveal anything I told her but I still don’t feel comfortable telling her.

It was our moment.

“So, that’s it? It’s over?” She sounds as confused as I am.

Is Hetch not talking to me his way of saying it’s over? Did he regret coming back to me that night? The questions play out over and over, and like every day of the last three weeks, I have no answer.

“I don’t know, Pay. I haven’t spoken to him since he left. He’s been avoiding me.” I cringe as I recount how many times I’ve knocked on his door over the last twenty-one days, only to be left standing there rejected.

“How is that even possible? You live next door to each other.”

“He hasn’t been there. All I know is, he’s not working. Kota, his sister, messaged me saying he took a leave of absence.”

“Did she say anything else?”

“Just told me not to give up on him.” My mind recalls the text messages with her. I wish I had the balls to ask her where he is. If he is staying with her, or out at his house. If I knew where he was, maybe this would be easier.

“So maybe he’s working through it all and needs time.”

“Maybe, and I’m trying to be patient, and I’m trying not to take offense to him ignoring me. He has a lot of shit to work through, and I’m not sure where I fit in with all of it.”

“What do you mean you don’t know where you fit in with it all? You love him, don’t you?” She sounds annoyed now, so I brace myself for it.

“Yeah.” I wipe my eyes again when the tears start back up.

“Then you find a place. You get in there and you fight for it, babe. He’s hurting. I can’t imagine what he’s going through. Don’t give up on him.”

“You’re right.” I draw a calming breath into my lungs. “I'm just emotional and overthinking things. I can give him more time.”

“There she is. You’re damn right you can. But if he takes longer than six weeks, I’m gonna kick his ass.”

I force a smile or maybe it’s a disguised grimace at the thought of waiting another three weeks.

Jesus.

“We’re a couple of messes, aren’t we?” She accepts it with a wink, trying to make light of our situations.

“Hot freaking messes. Sex and the City and ice cream have our names on it.” I blow my nose, vowing it to be the last time. I need to get my shit together. We’re in a damn coffee shop for Christ's sake.

“No, I’m thinking more cocktails and dancing.” Her brows dance up to her hairline, taunting me with a good time.

“I don’t know, Pay. I’m not going to be the best dance partner right now.” I wish I didn’t have to knock her back like this, but I know I’m not going to be much fun.

“What? Come on, Lib, you have to. It’s your duty as my best friend to take your newly single friend out after she finds out her husband knocked his secretary up.”

“It is?” I sigh, knowing this isn’t going to end the way I hoped.

“It is. Come on, it will be good. This Saturday Jett has Arabella for the weekend. It will be her first weekend away from me. Can you imagine how hard it’s going to be for me?” I know she’s putting it on, but I don’t miss the panic flash in her eyes.

Jesus, she’s killing me here.

“Okay,” I concede. “But only if we go somewhere else. I don’t want to go back to The Elephant.” I can’t imagine what I would do if I ran into Hetch there.

“Sold.” Her hands drum down on the table in jest before she softly claps them together.

“It’s going to be fun. You’ll see, B. One night out like old times and all our worries will be on the back burner.”

I’m not as certain as she is.

One night out isn’t going to fix my broken heart, nor my worried soul.

At least not until Hetch and I have closure will I be able to function. Until then, I guess I have to put it aside for the sake of my friend. It’s the least I can do, considering the douche who broke her heart is my brother.

Dick.



“Excuse me, Lib, can I have a word with you?” A knock at my door later in the day has my head moving from the files I’m working on, to find Mitch standing in my doorway.

“Sure can. Come on in.” He pauses on the threshold, letting his eyes roam around my office before stepping inside and taking a seat across from my desk. Today I’m in the office catching up on paperwork while Renee is on shift with the boys.

“So what’s up, Mitch?” I press, after watching him for a few beats. There’s something different in the way he’s holding himself today. As if he’s unsure how to act in order to appear relaxed.

“Umm, I have a favor to ask.” The quiver in his voice doesn’t hide his nerves, which in turn makes me uneasy.