Here and Gone(36)

When those cops stopped Mya on a lonely road and took Sara from her, they might as well have put a gun to her head. They killed her then, even if she seemed to go on living for the six weeks it took for her to give up. And still her death, and Sara’s, did not sever the tie between them. Slowly, steadily, Mya had been dragging him after her into the grave.

But he still had business to settle.

Every breath he took now felt like a debt to her, as if the five years between here and there were simply borrowed. God, he missed her and his daughter like they were bones ripped from his body. Especially nights like this, when all he had were the ghosts in his head.

Somehow, somewhere in the next hour, sleep took him, swallowed him whole. Bloody dreams stalked him; they always did. But now there were new faces among the old: two children and their mother. All the things he could not change, could not reach, and here they were, and maybe if he stretched far enough, bled enough, maybe he could reach them.

Danny jerked awake in the darkness, his heart thundering, lungs heaving, nerves carrying a jangling charge like bell wire. He checked his clock: not long past midnight.

When his heart had calmed, and he had his breathing under control, he pulled aside the sheets and got out of bed. Wearing only his underwear, he left the bedroom and walked down the stairs. Only when he reached the bottom did he wonder why he had come down at all.

‘Thirsty,’ he said aloud.

He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and thought, yeah, thirsty. He remembered the almost full carton of orange juice in the fridge and padded through the living room out into the kitchen. Fetched a glass from the cupboard and poured himself a generous serving. One swallow half emptied the glass, and he turned away from the fridge.

His laptop sat closed on the table.

Without thinking, he sat down, set the glass beside it, and opened the computer. The screen flickered on and he entered his password. The web browser open on the Google home page.

He typed: Fly SFO > PHX

‘Huh,’ he said as a list of travel sites and ticket prices filled the screen. ‘So that’s what I’m doing.’





17


THE NIGHT HAD dragged on long and slow for Sean. At least, he thought it was night. The temperature had gone from cool to cooler, the quiet entering a deeper silence. Louise had slept on and off for much of the day and night, and her forehead had become hot to the touch, even though she shivered and complained of being cold.

Sean knew his sister was becoming sick, but he didn’t know what to do about it. He supposed he would ask Deputy Collins for some medicine when she came back.

If she came back.

She hadn’t been by since the morning, when she left some more sandwiches, potato chips, and fruit. Sean had devoured two bananas and a fistful of chips. Louise had taken a bite from an apple and had eaten nothing since.

‘When can we go?’ Sean had asked.

‘Maybe tomorrow,’ Collins had said. ‘Day after at the latest.’

‘The police will be out looking for us,’ Sean said. ‘There’ll be search parties. You won’t move us until it’s safe. Until you won’t get caught.’

Collins smiled. ‘You’re a smart kid. You know, I have a boy maybe a year younger than you.’

‘What’s his name?’

Collins hesitated, then said, ‘Michael. Mikey.’

‘What’s he like?’

Her eyes went distant. ‘Smart, like I said. And funny.’

‘Does he have a dad?’

She shook her head. ‘He’s not around anymore. Truth be told, he was a bit of an asshole.’

‘Mine’s not around, either,’ Sean said. ‘I guess he’s an asshole too.’

‘You shouldn’t say words like that.’

Sean ignored her admonishment. ‘What does Mikey like to do? Does he play sports?’

‘No,’ Collins said. ‘Mikey gets sick a lot. He has a problem with his heart. Means he can’t do stuff like that. He has to stay in bed a lot of the time and take medicine. So he reads mostly. Comic books and stuff.’

‘Me too,’ Sean said. ‘Not the staying in bed part, I mean the comic books. I like comic books. Maybe I could meet Mikey sometime. Maybe we could be friends.’

Suddenly Collins came back to herself, her eyes hardening, her lips thinning. She reached down and grabbed Sean’s shirt in her fist, pulled him close, so he could feel her breath on his skin.

‘I know what you’re doing, you little shit. You’re smart, but you’re not that smart. Now keep out of my head.’

Sean watched her eyes while she spoke and saw no anger there. Collins couldn’t hold his gaze, looked away as her cheeks grew red. She turned and climbed the steps, let the trapdoor drop closed behind her, bolted it, locked it. Sean heard the buzz of the motorcycle, its engine note rising in pitch as she sped away across the forest.

How long had passed since then? Could it be twenty-four hours yet? Sean simply didn’t know.

He reached across the mattress and placed his palm on Louise’s forehead. Still hot, still damp with sweat. Louise moaned and swatted his hand away.

‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I’m going to get us out of here. We’ll find Mom and we’ll go to California, to San Diego, and we can go to the beach. Just like she promised. You hear me?’